Feeling all sorts of things

Hi, I’m in my mid 20s and have just recently found out that I’m pregnant. On one hand, my partner and I were so happy and relieved when we found out, but on the other, I’m already starting to feel a great sense of loss. Loss of identity, loss of freedom and independence, loss of control over my body, and relatedly, loss of the ability to be spontaneous with our plans. I love kids and have always pictured having one somewhere down the line, but now that it’s become a reality I can’t help but wonder if I’m ready for this big change, probably the biggest I will ever go through as a person. Things won’t be the same in many aspects of my life, and I’m worried that things may change in the relationship between my partner and myself too.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m so happy and thankful because a baby is such a huge blessing, but at the same time I’m also feeling all of these different emotions. I know it’ll take time for me to process them but I’d really appreciate any advice or support to help me manage.

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Hi @anonymous101

First of all, congratulations :slight_smile: And thank you for sharing with us here on this platform.

I want to affirm you that it’s completely understandable to feel a whirlwind of emotions upon discovering such life-altering news. Your mixed feelings of joy, relief, and simultaneous sense of loss are very common for some women in this situation. The arrival of a child often brings a complex blend of emotions, including a profound shift in various aspects of life :slight_smile:

The conflicts you’re experiencing—between the happiness and the worries about the changes that are approaching—are 100% valid and entirely natural! :slight_smile: Your concerns about a potential loss of identity, freedom, and the adjustments to your relationship with your partner reflect the many adjustments and adaptations that come with this transformative journey as a parent.

I want to encourage you that this is really a very normal process, to have these complex feelings about the pregnancy. Please take your time to go through these feelings, and remember: there’s also the hormonal factor - which can really intensify your feelings on some days too.

In terms of advice, I encourage you to maintain open communication with your partner. When you can share these feelings and concerns with each other, it can help strengthen your bond and prepare both of you for the changes ahead as new parents. It might also be helpful to explore avenues for support, such as speaking with a counselor or joining a support group for expectant parents. These platforms can provide you with a safe space to share your concerns and connect with others who may be experiencing similar emotions.

For example:

  1. https://honeykidsasia.com/best-support-groups-for-new-mums-in-singapore/
  2. https://www.healthhub.sg/live-healthy/pregnancy-antenatal-postnatal-services-support-helplines

You can also speak to a professional counsellor, who is trained in pregnancy/prenatal issues :slight_smile: They will provide you strategies and a safe space for you to share your feelings openly, and support you through your journey.

Remember, it’s alright to feel a wide range of emotions during this time. Taking things one step at a time and seeking the support you need will be super helpful in managing these feelings and embracing this significant change in your life. If you’re open to it, I’m here to assist and support you through this journey :slight_smile: