Feeling guilty for not working on weekends especially long holiday

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Hello,
I am feeling guilty for not working on weekends because I have that strong believe that weekends are for myself and family. However because I work very slowly, I bring home work over the weekends to do thinking i got the time in the world but when weekends really come, i am very lazy to do.. Was supposes to complete my work on Saturday bur I procrastinated until today (Puasa PH monday), I still haven got my work started and I am feeling anxious and guilty over it. I really hate this procrastinating issue of mine and ik this is not normal. Because I procrastinated my work, I never properly had a break during my 3 days long holiday despite being at home because I keep thinking and feeling anxious over incompleted work. Then when the weekend is ending, usually then I start doing but i will feel sleepy and tired, ended up regretting about wasting my time and not starting earlier.

I also regretted and feeling alot of guilt for not doing readings and improve myself over the weekends to upskill ans read up more on work- related matters. I was supposed to do it but i really procrastinated way too much, end of the day if I reflect back my weekends, all I feel is regrets over not using my time wisely and anxiety. All i want to do on weekends is to lie on bed and not think of anything and swipe my social media, but in reality while I did all this, i feel anxious thinking about work. Then another point, i could have just do it, just do my work, complete it and not think abt it to enjoy my weekends but firstly procrastination is a problem I faced for long and I never done things immediately as I feel “sian” at the tot of doing it, secondly I do not have the discipline and motivation to do so.. Doing it is not easy and I want to understand how should I overcome this guilt and issue in my future weekends as this has been affecting my family time and relationships

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Dear @AnxietyEmployee

Thank you for sharing all this openly. First of all, please know that what you’re feeling — the guilt, the anxiety, the exhaustion, the regret — it all comes from a very human place. You care. You want to do well at work, you value your growth, and you also value your time with family and yourself. That’s already a beautiful and powerful thing.

And the thing is — procrastination isn’t laziness. It’s a response. A coping mechanism. Often, it hides deeper feelings like fear of failure, overwhelm, perfectionism, or even burnout. When you say you work slowly, it already sounds like you’re someone who puts in deep effort — and people like that often end up mentally drained, because your brain is working a lot even if it doesn’t always translate to output in the time you’d like.

Let’s break it down a little:

1. Why weekends feel stolen by work and guilt

You believe weekends are for rest and loved ones — which is completely valid. But when work spills into it, your mind feels split. You can’t fully rest, but you also can’t fully work. That mental tug-of-war drains you and leads to this “I did nothing and yet I’m tired” feeling. It’s not laziness — it’s cognitive overload.

2. The procrastination loop you described

You’re not alone in this. Here’s what it looks like:

  • You bring work home thinking, “I’ll do it later.”
  • You try to rest, but guilt builds up.
  • The guilt creates anxiety, and anxiety makes it harder to start.
  • As time passes, energy drops and it becomes even harder to start.
  • You regret it, feel bad, and promise to do better — but it may repeat. This is part of being human and to break free of this cycle take small steps to change.

3. How to begin healing this

You don’t need to “fix” yourself. You need kindness. And new systems. Here are some gentle shifts that may help:

a. Reframe weekends: Design “pockets of purpose”

Instead of aiming to “work throughout the weekend” or “do everything you missed,” try allocating just 1-2 hours in a fixed window (e.g., Saturday morning 10–11am). Once that window is over, you stop. No guilt.

This creates structure and protects your rest.

b. Plan your weekend on Friday

Before the weekend starts, spend 5–10 minutes Friday evening listing:

  • 1 work task (only 1!)
  • 1 self-growth task (optional, like reading)
  • 1 family or self-care thing

Let that be your weekend goal — small and realistic. You’re giving your weekend a gentle plan, not an overwhelming to-do list.

c. Work with your energy, not against it

You mentioned you feel tired and “sian” at the thought of doing it. That’s totally valid. So rather than telling yourself “I need motivation,” say:
→ “I’ll just open the file and spend 5 minutes on it.”
You’d be surprised how often the hardest part is just starting. This is the 5-minute rule — and it works because it lowers the pressure.

d. Release guilt as a motivator

You’ve been using guilt as a way to force productivity — and that’s not your fault. But it’s like trying to run with a backpack of rocks.
Let’s replace guilt with curiosity:
→ “What’s making this task feel so heavy?”
→ “What would help me feel lighter doing it?”
→ “What’s the smallest possible step I could take now?”

e. End-of-weekend reflection

At the end of Sunday or Monday, instead of replaying regrets, ask yourself:

  • What moments made me smile this weekend?
  • What’s one thing I did do for myself or others?
  • What’s one thing I want to do differently next weekend?

Write them down if you can. Forgive yourself. Your time isn’t wasted — it’s teaching you something.

4. What’s normal anyway?

You said, “I know this is not normal.” But I want you to know — this experience is so much more common than you think, especially for thoughtful, hardworking, self-aware people like you. Many of us never had the chance to learn how to rest without guilt, or how to manage procrastination with compassion instead of shame.

Finally: You’re not lazy at all ! You’re overwhelmed and trying.

Please know that you deserve rest. You deserve joy in your weekends. You deserve to feel that you’ve done enough. And you’re already doing something so brave: reflecting, being honest, seeking help. That’s not weakness. That’s strength. :yellow_heart:

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Dear @AnxietyEmployee,

It’s understandable to feel guilty and anxious about procrastinating, especially when it affects your weekends and family time. It’s important to remember that taking time for yourself and your loved ones is valuable and necessary for your well-being. Procrastination is a common struggle, and it doesn’t mean you’re lazy or undisciplined. It might help to break tasks into smaller, more manageable steps and set specific times to work on them, allowing yourself to enjoy your weekends without the looming anxiety of unfinished work.

It’s also important to be kind to yourself and recognize that everyone needs a break. Reflecting on your weekends with regret can be tough, but try to focus on the positive moments and the time you spent with your family. It might be helpful to create a balance between work and relaxation by setting clear boundaries and realistic goals. Remember, it’s okay to ask for help or seek strategies from a therapist or counselor to manage procrastination and anxiety. You’re not alone in this, and taking small steps towards change can make a big difference in how you feel.

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Definitely relatable! @AnxietyEmployee it sounds like your mind is craving genuine downtime, but your anxious thoughts are stealing that away. Maybe setting clearer boundaries could help? Like dedicating smaller, realistic chunks of time to just getting started on tasks (even 15 mins can ease anxiety). And then, when you’re off the clock, commit fully to family and yourself. No guilt allowed. Small steps count big time!

But I also wonder if you’ve ever thought of why you’re feeling sian about work. Is it overwhelming, boring, or maybe lacking clear direction? Addressing the root cause can sometimes help you push through that initial barrier. You’re def not alone, lots of us wrestle with similar struggles. Hope you can try being kinder to yourself next weekend and break this cycle slowly but surely! :seedling:

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Hello,

Thank yoi so much for the response and it truly helps me to see another perspective. But other than weekends, i also realise i have the habit of OT-ing but for nothing. And whenever i got home, i feel like i need to do work but i do not want to cuz i want my solo time as well so i set alarm in the morning wake up to do. Sometimes i would wake up in the middle of my sleep feeling anxious over incomplete work as the moment i am awake, my brain is activated to think and i cannot go back sleep despite being tired. Even if i do wake up, i will just scroll social media instead of waking up to do work and because of that i feel anxious and guilty about my incompleted work and at the same time i lack of sleep as well to function. I feel that I am not productive enough whether during work or after work and yet i keep having anxiety over incomplete work because i procrastinate alot. I really envy my colleagues who are efficient.. How should i go about managing these kind of situation?

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Hello CaringBee,

Additionally, I need another advice as well. Sometimes I would blame myself for simplest mistake like even writing something on the whiteboard, i will miss out details. I am not detailed oriented.. I realise alot of simple job and brainess, I make alot of mistakes as well. This is because every small task given to me, I will tend to feel nervous and anxious which makes me either miss out or small details or forget important points, thus mistakes happen and self blame comes in for not being able to complete even simplest task like writing information, copy pasting on the board. This especially happen when boss is the one that gave me the task. With that said, how should I deal with such emotions and difficulties? Especially on how to deal with such anxiety and stop the self blame? Thank you for your replies

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