I’ve been in the same workplace for
the past 5 years, and every year I get taken out by the appraisal process because I can’t tell my workplace that I have no “vision” for myself because I genuinely didn’t expect to still be alive at 30. And now I just keep getting stuck in feeling like asking to be trained or asking for opportunities makes me a burden on my supervisor and boss, and then I burst out in tears during the actual meeting so they’ve always just given me space. The kindness is great but I feel so useless . They’ve always been so kind and told me to talk my time figuring it out but I’ve figured it out. I just don’t know how to tell them without bursting into tears.
I’m so frustrated that I just can’t get the words out to say what I wanted. I can’t help but feel like I’ve missed all the opportunities they’ve given me and I’m just going to be left behind by my juniors at work who shine so brightly and do their work so well.
Hey @friendlystarfish7407,
Thanks a lot for writing in! I saw your post a few days ago, but sorry for the delay in getting back to you.
Based on what you shared, it sounds like you’ve been carrying a lot of quiet grief and pressure into these appraisal conversations with the management, especially the feeling that you were never planning for a future that you are now expected to confidently plan out.
That disconnect can make “career vision” questions feel impossible to answer, because these questions touch on something emotionally charged. When you mentioned the tears and frustration during those meetings, it likely shows that you’ve been trying to manage an overwhelming internal struggle for a long time.
At the same time, it’s important to acknowledge that you haven’t been standing still or “missing everything”. Personally, I have only been in the workforce for about 1.5 years, so I can’t say I know how it feels.
But what I do notice is that you’ve stayed at your workplace for about five years, navigated multiple appraisals with management, and continued to show up even when it’s been emotionally difficult.
It also sounds like your supervisors respond with kindness and provide space, which suggests they see you as someone worth investing their time in. Struggling to articulate your direction under pressure simply means the next step might be to find a way to express what you want in a setting where you can share your thoughts without feeling overwhelmed.
Perhaps reflecting on what truly excites you about your work could help clarify your “career vision” that your managers were talking about. In your opinion, what small steps can you take to explore those interests further?