Burnout from work affecting life

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1

Hi, i am in my 30s. I worked full time for almost 7 years.

On paper, it seems that i have a great job. Decent work life balance, pay and stability. Hence i am feeling ungrateful and guilty for even feeling this way.

I am severely burnt out at work even though my working hours are reasonable. I am forced to take on management roles which does not match my personality and i have been doing it for 1 year already. Everyday i swing between i can cope, just take pay and go home and i want to rage quit right now. i find it hard to start the conversation with my boss that i want to change role as they is the one that kind of forced me into it. I also feel like a failure, that perhaps i was not good enough at my technical skills, that i am forced into management role. My boss have put me down before by saying my skills are not good enough and hence to think of future promotion i should do management.

i am also feeling immense stress and anxiety from future milestones. I am the punching bag of customer, and people on top and below me. I feel like i am squashed like a bug and i am on the edge of not being able to take this anymore. Sometimes i think am i too weak? And why do i care so much that i make myself anxious?

At first i thought it was a purely work related issue but it seems to have spilled over to my personal life. I still do things like socialising and exercising but I feel anxious and hopeless everyday. I get revenge sleep procrastination and feel guilty for not being productive yet sleeping late. The lack of sleep is making me feel lethargic also. Because of this vicious cycle, i cant muster the energy to prepare for interview, even if i want to throw letter.

Also, i used to have hobbies but i keep feeling i like i shld spend time on interview prep instead of hobbies. But i end up too tired to do interview prep anyway.

Also, i used to like to plan for travels, but this year i am so fixated on hating my job that i dont have energy to plan any travels anymore.

I am also in a constant loop where i want to quit, then scared cannot find job, think i am gonna be stuck here forever, then become depressed that i have to take this crap every single day.

Lastly, i also feel anxious because of my age. I should focus on life with my partner and family planning. But i am so anxious about my career, i cant think straight and have energy about other matters.

After 1 year of struggling, i think i need some help. I am not sure where to start. Thank you all for reading.

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Hi there reflectivepeppermint8652, thank you for reaching out today!

First of all, the fact that you recognised you were struggling, and then actually did something about it by reaching out, says a lot about your self-awareness and courage. What you are going through and the burnout you are feeling are very real. Please do not feel guilty just because things look fine on paper, because what you are really dealing with is a mismatch between who you are and what your job is asking of you. That kind of friction builds up over time and will wear anyone down, it does not make you weak, it just makes you human.

Having a role forced on you, a boss who undermines your confidence, and feeling squeezed from all sides is a lot to carry. Most people would struggle under those conditions too, and it is really just a matter of time before it catches up with you.

The cycle you are describing, wanting to quit but feeling too exhausted to prepare, too guilty to rest, and too anxious to plan, are all signs of burnout. Please be gentle with yourself. That gentleness is actually what helps break the cycle, and it is not the same as being lazy. One thing I would encourage you to do is to have an open conversation with your boss about where your career is heading and where you feel you could add more value. It does not have to be a big confrontation, just a conversation.

As for your hobbies and travel plans, those are exactly the kinds of things that help refill you. Give yourself the space and permission to enjoy them without guilt. That is not a distraction from your problems, it is part of how you get through them.

And lastly, I am really glad you reached out today. By doing so you have already taken your first step. The next one worth considering is speaking to a therapist or counsellor. If you are open to it, you can reach out to Mindline at 1771 or on WhatsApp at 6669-1771 for a listening ear or to find out more about available resources.