I’m so crazy stressed out from work. I work close to 70 hours a week, and there’s never enough time to complete all the work. My anxiety spikes whenever I think about what I haven’t done/ is going to be late/ isn’t going ahead and I have trouble sleeping because of it. Last night I couldn’t sleep because I was lying in bed and suddenly recalled that something hadn’t been done and that spike of anxiety kept me awake for another 3 more hours.
Today called it at 7.45pm and decided to head home earlier, but now I feel guilty because I didn’t work much tonight and there’s just so much going on and I didn’t work much over the long weekend.
I’ve come close to quitting multiple times but this is a good opportunity for me and a way to really bolster my career. I’m just not sure what I should be doing or how I can cope with this.
Hi @easygoingmaple7719. Thank you for taking the time to pen down these thoughts that you’ve been having.
A few things stand out to me. The guilt you feel for leaving at 7.45pm after what sounds like a very long day is worth paying attention to, it suggests the bar you’ve set for yourself (or that’s been set for you) has become disconnected from what’s actually sustainable for a human being. Feeling guilty for not working on a long weekend is a sign that work has expanded to fill not just your time but your sense of self-worth. That’s a hard place to be.
On the practical side, the sleep disruption is something to take seriously. When anxiety spikes at night like that, it can help to keep a notepad by your bed when a worry surfaces, write it down and tell yourself it’s captured and you’ll deal with it tomorrow. It doesn’t solve the underlying problemm, but it can interrupt the spiral that keeps you awake.
Have you considered speaking to someone or a professional about this?
I visited a therapist for the first time last saturday, but I felt he wasn’t a good fit for me. He pointed out that I was being too harsh on myself because I demand perfection in everything that I do. He said that over compensating is my defense mechanism so that I can try to overcome the anxiety, self doubt and low self esteem which is quite true in hindsight but i don’t know how to overcome this issue