Tired and Burnout?

Ask a Therapist Seeking Help
,
1

I’m just so tired and burnout, and I think I’ve truly hit the lowest in my entire life. I’ve cried much more this year than combined in the previous 5 years.

At first, I thought I was having a hard time adjusting to a full time job after a year of unemployment. However, it’s been almost four months and it’s getting worse. I’ve never thought about death so much up until now. I’ve really tried to give it time but it’s getting so bad and I feel like I’m 16 again where all I could think about is ending it all- but worse somehow. Worse because last time, the guilt of upsetting my parents would stop me from doing anything. But now, I can only bring myself to care about the relief that I’ll feel, and that’s what’s scaring me.

I’ve never hurt myself purposely my whole life. I don’t have pills or anything of the sort, I’m scared of pain, so I don’t think I’ll attempt… maybe, I’m not so sure these days. Every night, all I just imagine a whole plan to end it all, crying. Every morning, I wake up disappointed and angry that I’m up the next morning. I’m not risk of immediate harm, I’m still a little scared. But I’m not sure how long this fear will last and turn into apathy and I do something irreversible.

I really don’t have it in my to do my hobbies, especially with my full time job. Most of the time, I work overtime for at least half an hour. By the time I reach home, it’s 7-7:30. Afterwards, it’s dinner time, which I try to keep to half an hour. I’m so genuinely tired, I actually can’t stay awake all the way straight so I take a nap until 9pm to shower and get ready for bed. 10:30pm, I’m already in bed. Even when I’m in bed early, it takes me a while to fall asleep because I’m just so anxious about work or I just keep fantasying of ways to end everything. I’m exhausted by morning. During the weekend, I’m catching up on sleep. There’s genuinely no time or energy for me to do my hobbies. People say to not let work consume you and do things tired, but the last time I did things tired, I had a half an hour breakdown in the office alone on a friday.

I can’t find another job, I’ve been applying for a YEAR since I graduated and it’s only this year when my friend recommended me that I managed to land a full time job. And I have to serve a bond, so as much as I wish I could, I can’t even choose to work part time. I’ve been applying for jobs still, like receptionist or admin which seem less taxing on the mind and seem to have better hours, but no one is responding. I JUST finished probation so it’s not like I can ask for off days, and the company is pretty stingy with their leaves.

I’m just so tired, I think I have burn out and depression, but I really just don’t have much faith in seeking out a therapist or something yet. I don’t know… I feel like I would be judged or my problems would be belittled. “That’s how life is.” Finally decided to let this out somewhere at least but only because it’s Sunday night and i can’t sleep because again. Anxious. Depressed. Can’t stop crying.

And I’m scared that if I seek help in person, and somehow I get diagnosed, I’d be ostracised and it would just make job hunting even harder.

Please. I’m genuinely exhausted. I’m only 24, please

2

Hello @grapesandblueberries. Thank you for taking your time to write down your thoughts. I’m glad you let it out somewhere tonight.

I hear you that you’re not sure about therapy. The fear of judgement, of being belittled, of a diagnosis following you those are real concerns, not irrational ones. But I’d gently push back on waiting until you have more faith in it, because what you’re describing isn’t something to sit with alone while you build up to it. The exhaustion you’re feeling makes it harder to reach out, not easier, and that’s exactly when reaching out matters most.

On the job and diagnosis fear, I understand why that weighs on you. But untreated depression that gets worse is also something that affects your ability to work and job hunt. Getting support isn’t a mark against you. It’s you taking care of the thing that’s making everything else harder. Something that you might not be aware about is that you are afraid that it will affect your future employment. Many are afraid of that. However, it is your choice on whether you’d like to disclose to them or not. Hope this helps to push you to seek professional support.

You’re 24, you’re exhausted, and you’ve been fighting this largely alone. Please reach out to someone tonight or tomorrow not because things are hopeless, but because you don’t have to keep doing this by yourself.

One thing worth knowing: in Singapore, you can call or text the Samaritans of Singapore (SOS) at 1767, available 24 hours. You can also reach out to national mindline at 1771 where you can also receive brief counselling support from.

3

Dear @grapesandblueberries ,

Thank you for sharing what you’re going through with us here.

The pain and exhaustion you’re feeling sounds really overwhelming, and it makes sense that you wish to seek relief from this. And you know, I’m so glad you chose to write in to relieve some of that pressure.

That awareness of suicidal thoughts is important; and even if you find that you’re not in immediate harm, it would be really helpful to reach out to someone. If talking to a mental health professional feels like too much at this time, there are avenues to do so, where you can talk through your issues without identifying yourself. I would really encourage you to do so when you can :slight_smile: As @Patootie shared, you can reach out to the national mindline at 1771 or SOS at 1767.

The fear you feel about being diagnosed and its potential impact on employment makes sense, especially since you have had to go through a period of job search for a year and you naturally don’t want to be subject to this stressful process again. I also hear you that you have hardly had quality rest in recent times. Chronic fatigue can intensify these feelings of fear and anxiety. However, seeking help from a therapist will not immediately get you an “official diagnosis” - in fact, this anxiety can be discussed with your therapist early on, and therapy can first help you unpack and organise all these overwhelming emotions and thoughts without too much focus on diagnosis.

It is totally understandable that you are hesitant about being vulnerable with a therapist whom you do not know. Yet, you don’t have to share everything with the therapist if you aren’t ready yet - you can just take it a small step at a time; I do encourage you to give it a chance :slight_smile: You don’t have to carry everything all by yourself.

It sounds to me that you have so much more you’d like to do, if only you can find the energy to do so. And I really do believe that you can garner this energy again. We are rooting for you here, @grapesandblueberries :light_blue_heart: