Hello! I’m 30M and currently going through a rather interesting phase in life. I left my full time sales job of 5 years in 2021 as I felt it no longer aligns with what I want to achieve for myself and also the relationship between my peers wasnt as healthy due to it being a competitive role. After leaving, I tried earning money online, it was okay but not sustainable in the long run as I was mostly doing it on my own. during this period I gradually became a shut in and I wasnt very comfortable with meeting people even if they were close to me. From what I’ve read is probably because I was afraid of people asking me “what are you doing now?” as I would not be confident to share with my situation at that point of time. after that I went to work 2 retail jobs. First one I left as it was mostly a 1 man show and Im doing 8-5. followed by 930-1030 for closing. For the second one i put in a more conscious effort to socialise and was given more roles in a short period of time. The system was unique as it wasnt a standard pos system and most things need to be manually adjusted to cater to situations (changing of payment method halfway, looking for an item that wasnt updated in inventory system, refunds) so I ended up asking questions often to clairfy as I wouldnt want to mess it up. due to that eventually I was asked to leave. Which was an interesting experience since i was in the management role in my full time job.
After that I started to have insomnia, slept around 8 in the morning daily for a few weeks. Met friends who was willing to help me out and now Im on a project based role to help out their business and the income is decent. We met a few times to work on the project and so far its been better. But the nature of the role takes a few months. So sometimes its idle. during this period I get alittle ‘worried’ that Im not doing anything and may reflect how much Im willing to do to make this work. but at the same time I dont want to be constantly asking questions since that didnt turn out too well the last time haha. Usually i’ll meet them during weekends. So during weekdays I cant relax, I feel that if I take it as this is going to work out I’ll be getting myself too comfortable too soon. I cant sleep till 5am and now im waking up at 1pm. which isnt really the best feeling. I’m not sure if its because things are not moving fast enough or I am just thinking too much.
