Flash back

I having a flashback about the negative things that people have said and I feel so upset especially that person I look up too the most can say such things to me

About 7 years back when I under internship and she is my teacher, that time I get scolded really bad because I wanted to self harm , my teacher she a lot of things like I’m not a good daughter, I’m selfish and she also say like if she able to show me how is like to lose someone she have done it

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Hey @anonymous179 thank you for sharing !

It must be very stressful and overwhelming for you when those thoughts resurface :disappointed_relieved:

I think what your teacher said to you was hurtful and although her intentions might have been good I can agree that it was not the right way to deliver it :people_hugging:

Hmm maybe just curious why did you look up to the teacher in the first place ?

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Thanks for sharing @anonymous179, it definitely sounds very upsetting when your teacher give such hurtful (and probably unhelpful) comments when you’re considering self harm.

If you’re okay sharing, would you be able to let us know what triggered this flashback?

Hi there @anonymous179,

Thanks for coming on and sharing about your struggles dealing with flashbacks; I can’t imagine how upsetting it is for you despite all the years :pensive: It’s even more distressing because it came from someone you looked up too and did not expect. I wonder what situation nowadays brings up these sort of thoughts that impact your mood negatively? Are you able to notice a pattern - does it occur with certain people/place/events? I wonder what do you to help you cope after you get those thoughts? :thinking:

It sounds to me what happened 7 years ago left you ‘stuck’ in that moment and perhaps you might feel unsafe nowadays when it comes to certain relationships? If you were to look behind some of the thoughts that come up - is it trying to tell you something more? Is there a need that it is not met or taken away from you? :mag: It sounds like you value the opinions that people share with you so it’s even harder with the negative things people say… and trying to break out of the flashbacks.

You mentioned self harm - when do you find yourself thinking about it or acting it out? People hurt themselves as a way once they’re unable to cope with overwhelming feelings and distressing thoughts. I hope we can find alternatives to help you cope - one of the ways to manage difficult feelings is to take a deep breath - this gives you a moment to pause to check if your thoughts (about yourself and others) are accurate and/or helpful, before considering other possibilities. Also, do allow yourself to express your emotions (instead of bottling it in), and perhaps shift to a more helpful way of taking perspective.

I also wonder if you’ve shared this with anyone? It’s great that you’re reaching out here and the community is more than willing to listen to you. Are there people that you feel comfortable with and know that can assist you - for you to reach out for support as well? And if you’re open to consider professional support, do reach out to:

  • Samaritans of Singapore (1-767)
  • Family Service Centres
  • James Cook University Clinic
  • NIE Wellness Centre
  • NUS Clinical & Health Psychology Centre

Hope to hear from you. Until then, remember that you deserve and can get the necessary support you need. Take care :wave:t2:

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Same, I was ostracised in school back then.

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Hello, I’m sorry to hear that your teacher said all these hurtful things to you, instead of offering you some words of comfort or advice. What was going on in your life back then that made you feel like self-harming?

Just wondering, how do you cope with your emotions now? :pensive:

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