my grandpa passed away two months ago and i miss him everyday. he was like a father to me. i was raised by him since i was a child. i miss him everyday. my bday recently passed and it makes me misses him even more. things does not feel the same anymore. i didn’t dare to talk to anyone about it becoz it seems like everyone is grieving in their own ways and i do not want to add on to their grief or re open their wound of grief. o tried ways to distract myself. but i know that those were just distractions. becoz at the end of the day, i know i still miss him and those emotions can’t be just swept under the rug. i tried to exercise, so that i could be tired and sleep better. it does helps sometimes, but i know that it’s just a way for me to be tired and sleep well. so the question is does grief really ends? or does stay. i don’t know how accept the grief. like realistically i know, but emotionally still hurts
Hi there wellpeapod5375, thank you for reaching today!
Firstly, I would like to give my condolences, losing someone who essentially raised you up since you were child is a really profound loss for anyone. It only makes sense that you are unable to accept the grief. Of course, your birthday hit differently this year. Those milestone moments have a way of making absence feel louder.
However, I think you already have a lot of clarity about your own grief, more than you might realise. You can see that the distractions are distractions. You know the feelings are still there underneath. That kind of self-awareness is actually important, it means you’re not running from it completely, even when it’s hard.
To answer your question regarding whether grief really ends, it does not really ‘end’ in the way we might hope. What it does is that it changes, most people tend to grow around it while the size of the grief stay relatively the same. As you progress in life, meeting new people, experiencing new things, your life expands and the loss/grief becomes something you carry rather than something that crushes you. It might sound like a bad thing but in a way, it could be a good thing depending how you view it. You do not want to forget or completely move on, instead you want to be able to hold on to it as way to always remember who he was and what he was to you.
This is not to say that what you are going through is nothing or let time help you ‘get over it’. If the grief feels very heavy or prolonged, do not sit with it alone. Talk to someone, a close friend/family, a counsellor over at Mindline 1771 who can provide a listening ear and support or a grief counsellor to help you unpack things in a safe environment.
hi @wellpeapod5375, firstly, my sincere condolences for your loss 
It sounds like your grandpa played a huge role in your upbringing and means a lot to you, and I can only imagine how much of an impact that kind of loss has on you. You mentioned that you’ve found it hard to talk to anyone about this, so thank you for sharing this with us. <3
You mentioned that it feels like everyone is grieving in their own ways and you don’t want to add on to the grief of others. That’s really thoughtful and considerate of you to be thinking of others even in the midst of navigating your own grief 
Sometimes it can seem to us that others around us are managing their grief well or have “moved on”, but often times, in reality, I think we’re all just trying to get through it. Grief can feel super overwhelming one day and manageable another, it has its ways of coming and going in waves. It could also be that they are also having the same thoughts as you. Sometimes we could all just be waiting for one person to check in or to open up. Something that I’ve found helpful is to honour the memory of the deceased, in ways that are meaningful to you and your loved ones. It could also provide a platform for those affected by the loss and grief to hold space for each other. In times like this, it’s so incredibly important to have support.
In any case, we are here to support you, and hopefully you can always find solace in sharing your emotions here with us. Please take care of yourself <3