How “seeking help” can give you brain damage and cause you to suicide

I want to share my story about how I am probably going to have to die by suicide, and it is because of the mental health system.

I was a perfectly fine uni student in 2017 but overloaded on mods. I bumped into a professor and asked him how I could drop a module. He promptly referred me to the counselling centre (yeap, sound like he was doing the right thing right?).

So I went to the counselling centre thinking it was some process to drop mods, the counsellor helped me with breathing exercises etc. Third consult, he arranged me to go to the GP. I was offered some white pills, which he said was for sleep and anxiety. I wasn’t told about how it worked or that it could cause so much harm. So I used it for a month.

But after, I started getting very anxious, panic attacks, couldn’t sleep for a week, heart palpitations, tinnitus. I went to the private psych and asked if it could be the meds. Instead the psychiatrist said it’s not bad that I had a new anxiety disorder (wtf) and was given Lexapro. Just one pill and I smashed a chair.

Nothing helped so I went to NUH as inpatient. There again I insisted it’s the meds, again the doctor dismissed it. There I got drugged further with meds for 5 days and at one point my tongue became paralyzed.

When I was discharged, I couldn’t leave the bed as I was still getting heart palpitations, restless legs syndrome, hypnic jerks when falling asleep. 5 months off suddenly things got, worse after not sleep for 5 days. I developed severe pain in the chest, and wanted to kill myself. I went to the hospital and because of lack of bed was shunted to IMH where things escalated further. My face briefly went numb and suddenly my ■■■■■■■■ when numb and tingling permanently (neuropathy). Yes, I suddenly became permanently impotent.

When I got out I went back to public hospital, all my complaints were dismissed as “psychosis” (wtf?) and I got drugged with anti-psychotics until I couldn’t stop moving. On home leave, I nearly jumped out of the window because of the effects. Worse still, I couldn’t get out of the hospital unless I complied with the treatment. Fortunately there was an antidote for that movement disorder called akathisia. I spent 3 months in the bloody hospital and not getting much better.

Because of the pain of the neuropathy, I was suicidal after the discharge and attempted with some sleeping pills. Surprise, surprise, I ended up back at that hospital and was sent to IMH where they insisted I was psychotic and drugged. Fortunately, I learned my lesson and spat everything out.

I spent the next one year in bed unable to work and regretting everyday stepping into that counsellors room and getting tricked into taking that white pill, which I now know is a benzodiazepine. I am now completely impotent, likely due to the lexapro. Even 5 years off, after getting stressed at my job, I suffer from issues with anxiety that I never had before and had to quit. My whole body feels like it’s burning and this is likely the last year I’ll alive as I can’t deal with the brain damage anymore and am not able to work as my stress response is all messed up.

Yes, these meds can make you sick, destroy your future and leave you nothing left but suicide. And, worst of all the doctors will just label you with more disorders rather than help you, and you will be seen as someone “mentally ill” when you were perfectly healthy before.

Take my warning seriously as most people who went through this are either dead by suicide, or keep quiet to not be stigmatized by society. Instead, all these therapists, doctors and peer support groups.

I connected with other people and I am far from the only one who ended up harmed. Another lady who bought into all this mental health awareness talk went to a psychiatrist for work anxiety and got conned into taking the meds, she has been bedbound for two years and terribly disabled. Another mother, her daughter jumped after being pressured into taking meds went she was referred to the counsellor for wanting to transfer school.

Read the news carefully and you will realize that a lot of celebrities and people suicided because of the meds (usually a benzo), sometimes not even realizing the meds turned on them.

The next time you see someone who dies by suicide, you should be asking what meds they were given. It’s too late for me, but it isn’t for you. Stay away from the damned doctors and don’t get scammed into going to them by the counsellors and psychologists.

Here are some articles:

Benzos and suicide:

Anti-depressants and suicide: Lawsuit Over a Suicide Points to a Risk of Antidepressants - The New York Times

Anti-psychotics and suicide: 'Antipsychotic drugs made me want to kill myself' - BBC News

Anti-depressants and permanent sexual dysfunction:

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Thank you for sharing your journey and experience. I’m sorry to hear about the tough time you’ve had with the mental health system. It sounds like you’ve been through a lot, and understandably, you’re feeling frustrated and let down.

I want you to know that you’re not alone. Many others have walked a similar path and understand what you’re going through. Despite the difficulties, I want to encourage you to keep seeking help and support.

You might find helpful resources through your local Community Intervention Team, like the one at (, or youth organizations such as Limitless. These places can provide assessments and counselling services tailored to your needs.

Additionally, joining a peer support group, like the one offered by Resilience Collective, could be beneficial. It’s a safe space where individuals who have faced mental health challenges come together to share stories and support one another. Being part of such a group can provide understanding and non-judgmental support, reminding you that you’re not alone in your struggles.

Take things one step, and remember to be kind to yourself. Take care. - Jason

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Thanks for sharing your story, @stht. It’s a very heavy topic and it’s very saddening to see how your life has changed because of overmedicalizing the issues that you were facing. It’s hard for many of us who are not doctors or mental health professionals to fully understand what you’ve gone through.

You mentioned that you’ve connected with other people on this. Is that through other support groups as well? Maybe there needs to be more awareness on this and I think your story can help others.

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Hi @stht

This hits a little too close for comfort as I’d experienced something similar. I developed akathisia after being put on a certain antipsychotic, my symptoms ranged from restlessness to severe suicidality which thankfully (I honestly got lucky) went away after quite some time after the time I stopped taking the medication. Sadly, I know of some who are not as lucky as me and am still struggling really badly.

There’s definitely still quite a lot of anger especially cause the psychiatrist insisted I had to take the medication to help me feel better but I struggle with a mood disorder, not sure why I was on antipsychotics. I know I’m way better now but the medication definitely caused a lot of disruptions in my life, I couldn’t function etc.

Anyways, am sending you lots of strength and I hope you find a supportive community and find the strength to continue living. Take care.


Exactly, and I was perfectly healthy before stepping into the counsellor’s office. Imagine those with problems in the lives. The medicine compounds their problems.

That’s right, the doctors don’t know because there is a concert effort by the medical establishment to ignore and conceal the harms. As a result they are not getting correct information in their training. Maybe these psychiatrists actually know, but they are intentionally concealing this for their own vested interests. But for sure most GPs do not know that these medicines actually cause harm. What do you think is going to happen now that the government is expanding the role of GPs in prescribing these medicines?

That is not to say these medicines cannot have a benefit. In correctly diagnosed psychosis and bipolar, the medicines can be life changing.

Counsellors and psychologists definitely don’t know and all chant the mantra “therapy and medication work together”. Either that or they wilfully turn a blind eye to the ugly truth, they are harming people.

The net effect is that in schools now, tonnes and tonnes of kids are getting on these medications. And a good portion of these kids are going to die by suicide when they get the adverse effects.