i recently tried to overdose in early april after arguing with my mother, and got admitted to the hospital for about a week. my dad arranged for me to stay in a student hostel for about a month before telling me he wanted me to shift back home. i was really overwhelmed because my trigger seems to be arguing with my mom. it’s been about two weeks, and i’m really struggling mentally again. everyone keeps making me promise them that i won’t do something stupid again, but my parents are refusing to get me a mental diagnosis because they said it will taint me for life. they think i just had a moment of anger and it really frustrates me that they are denying the only help i know i can get. i don’t know who to turn to anymore and i’m so tired.
i’m really doing my best in my studies but i admit i can’t really focus when all i’m thinking about is wanting to die.
Dear @lette, it sounds like you are really struggling. Like @Otterworldly the community is here to help you. You are not alone in this journey.
There are free youth services in Singapore which can support you and also help you to navigate conversations with your parents. I encourage you to reach out to them.
I am sorry to hear that you are experiencing a tough period and it seems like people around you are unable to understand what you are going through. It is really hard when you are unable to receive the support you need, especially through these tough times.
I would like to thank you firstly, for coming to this platform to share your feelings with us. I think it takes a lot of courage to open up about your feelings and experiences, and I really want to affirm you on that. It also seems like you are very aware of what triggers you, that’s why you are seeking an alternate way, that is staying at a student hostel. It shows how much you value yourself and treasure your life. It is unfortunate that this happened to be a short-term arrangement as you have to move back home.
I am sure you have tried different ways in the past to cope with what’s happening at home, and that you have managed to survive all these years with it. I wonder if you are feeling frustrated as you felt that there is a way out, and you are being pulled back into the same situation again. If so, I hope you can take some time to think about what you did in the past to cope and hopefully those could support you through this period again. That is until you are able to find other alternatives.
When you say that everybody is making you promise you won’t hurt yourself again, it sounds like there are people who care for you. It may not be the way you want them to, but the intentions are to support you. I wonder if there is any way you can communicate your concerns to them and explore together on what other ways can they be of support to you. Do you think it will be helpful if you speak to your father about how you feel and that you would really like to get his support by providing you with what you need, it could be professional help or other changes in your life.
I see that you are trying your best to study, that shows how important your goals are. And I do not want you to give up on these goals, because they motivate you to endure through challenging times. I hope that you are able to find alternate coping ways that are helpful and not hurtful to yourself. Here are some alternate suggestions for you to consider trying:
Deep breathing exercises – Find a comfortable space and position yourself comfortably. Take a deep breath in while counting to 5 and breathe out counting to 5 as well. While you are breathing out, imagine that the air leaves with your stress and tension. Stay focused on your breathing and cast aside other thoughts. Repeat until you feel better.
Grounding exercises – A five-step exercise (5-4-3-2-1) can help to ground you in the present when you are feeling anxious.
You would need to engage your 5 senses (like 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch,
3 things you can smell, 2 things you can hear, 1 thing you can taste).
Fidget toys – It can be something to keep your hands occupied and to provide sensory stimulation without causing hurt to yourself.
Physical activity – It can be to walk around, jump a little, anything to release any pent-up energy within yourself.
Talking to people. Do reach out to trusted family or friends to talk about how you are feeling. Talking through experiences helps to gain new perspectives and insights. It could be encouraging as well.
Self-care. It can be mental and physical actions where you eat/sleep well, engaging in hobbies you enjoy or being good to yourself because you deserve to be treated well.
Positive self-talk: It is important how you speak to yourself. Focus more on your strengths and give affirmations to yourself. You are strong and you have survived through many obstacles in your life. It is definitely discouraging when things don’t go your way. I am sure your resilience can pull you through this challenging time again.
I really hope things get better for you. Remember that you deserve and can get the necessary support you need. Do keep us updated on how you are coping, we would really like to continue to support you here on this platform.
i’ve tried going to a family service centre, talking to adults in school and friends but it seems like everything is just repetitive… my parents want me to move out and have threatened to stop funding my education. i’m quite stressed out now as i have no savings and have no idea where to start. unfortunately i relapsed from my self-harm urges this morning
there seems to be no concrete solution and i’m being told to just deal with it. i had an argument with my parent tonight and it resulted in her damaging my phone beyond repair when i have no money saved for a new one
Sounds like either your mum is an overbearing person or the characters of both of you are such that it’s near impossible to have a fruitful conversation.
I’m not sure how to resolve it, but I had joined a social anxiety, depression and introvert meetup group before. Not sure if it is still active.
It’s best to seek professional help but I have some friends who felt that those psychiatrist are not useful as they don’t understand what you are going through. If so, it is best to find a support group.
If you want to find some activity to distract yourself, feel free to approach me. Maybe we can play some boardgame or whatever. However I’m a male and prefer a male
I can only imagine the amount of pain you are going through right now 
