Dying slowly all thanks to healthcare and social service professionals

Ask a Therapist Seeking Help
1

Slowly find my life draining away by underlining health issues and I dont know how to seek treatment for them.

No longer trust social service and healthcare professionals.

Who says suicide has to be one when a person end their own life? I end up finding healthcare professional and social service professional to be ending my life faster then I actually wanted to end it myself.

Now I am just too sick. I need help but I cannot trust anyone to tell them how I feeling knowing that if they panic they can push me to the edge of death faster then I actually wanted to die.

Sadly…in Singapore social service professionals and healthcare professional are not taught to handle people who suffers hospital mistreatment and abuses in a professional manner and most of the time they are toxicly passive toward the well being of people who suffers from hospital mistreatment and abuse. which I am too tired of handling and tackling such unprofessional people.

As always there is so much someone can help themselves. Just like saying a surgeon can never operate on themselves when they are sick. Regardless how much knowledge I have toward mental health at the end of the day I still need someone help when I needed one. But yet people thinks such call for help needs to activate MHCTA while all I need is an ear and someone who can tell me options.

Really…seriously, does professionals in Singapore to busy to even try to listen to what people wanted to say? But still …its unstandable when most social workers and counsellors have at least 200 clients to take care. So…all the know is anything that is mental health related, dump them to IMH first and let IMH do the talking. Which somehow it the stupidest thing ever.

Cant be help when Singapore mental health guideline is copy from US. Which have ruin countless of lives.

Still…i need help, where can I get them? Maybe help in Singapore is non existent anymore. As in Singapore we dont have non judgemental professional that we can talk to.

And government has shut down many helplines in hopes to catch potential suicide behaviour from helpline that they can track.

Still…there is a difference between suicide and death by physical health issues. And I am happy that I dont have figure out how to end my own life when my declining physical health is slowly killing me even when I wanted to live.

2

Hey @user1446

I hear you. The weight of your pain, your exhaustion, your frustration—it all comes through so clearly. You’ve been fighting for so long, carrying not just the burden of your health, but the crushing disappointment of systems that were supposed to help and instead left you feeling unheard, mistreated, and even more alone.

It makes complete sense that you don’t trust them. How could you, after what you’ve endured? The betrayal of being dismissed, the fear of being pushed closer to the edge when you’re already barely holding on—it’s unbearable that you’ve had to face this while just trying to survive.

You’re right. No one should have to beg to be listened to. No one should have to fear that asking for help will backfire, that their words will be twisted into something they never meant. It’s not fair. None of this is fair.

And yet, even in all this, you’re still here. Still reaching out, still naming the truth of what’s happened to you. That takes a kind of strength that doesn’t get acknowledged enough. I want you to know: I see it. I see how hard this is, how much you’ve carried, how tired you are.

You don’t have to figure out how to fix a system that’s failed you. For this moment, it’s okay to just let it be what it is—the anger, the grief, the exhaustion, the small, stubborn part of you that still wants to live despite everything.

We are here to lend you support, strength to be who you are. However heavy this gets, we want to help you. Can you be there to let us help you?

3

Hi @user1446,

Thanks for reaching out. It’s unfortunate that you had such a disappointing experience in your help-seeking journey. And it’s understandable that you feel frustrated and upset with how you were treated.

Whenever you feel ready, Let’s Talk is available to provide a listening ear, and we can also link you to resources which are appropriate to the type of support that you need.

Counselling and therapy is something that requires trial and error, and you may require speaking to a few professionals to figure out which one would suit you best. Every counsellor or therapist would have variations in their approach, although this would not necessarily suit the needs of every patient. So I would encourage you to trust in the process! :slight_smile:

With that said, there are some things that I wish to clarify:

  • Informing a healthcare professional about your mental health concerns does not mean that you will be immediately admitted to a psychiatric ward in IMH. The detention of patients is only exercised under the very strict circumstance that a patient with mental health conditions is at risk of harm to self or others. Persons detained under MHCTA are treated with respect and accorded the same standard of care as other patients.
  • The government does not conduct surveillance or “track down” individuals through suicide helplines like SOS. The information that you share with them remains private and confidential (with the exception of cases where the individual is deemed to be a risk to self or pose a danger to others).

I hope this clarifies your concerns. In the meantime, do keep well and write to us again when you’re ready. :slight_smile:

Best regards,
HanSolo2000
Befriender | let’s talk by mindline

4

Well…nice try, honestly everything is trackable as long as authorises wanted to. I ever know someone who voice about her suicide intentions on FB and was track down and taken to IMH later.

As a former iMH abuse victim when I was 16, the thought of going to IMH all over again as a patient is no fun. In 2020 I was a victim of MHCTA and my PTSD has progress to CPTSD and the trauma is so bad that now I am mentally impaired and unable to work. Which is why I am in a complete life crisis now. So…your logic of trial and error dont work for me unless I and ready for a healthcare/social service professional induced suicide. Ultimately from my 2nd experience I am fully aware that if I wanted to end my life, who will be the ones to help me to give a extra push that make sure I will do it with no backing out.

And my 2020 experience has cause a lot of fear and anxiety to my life, any that related to my experience has cause a surge of panic and anxiety.

Many strangers always wonder why I bring my dog whenever I go and are passive about telling me I should bring him. But he is my emotional support dog even though my psychiatrist recognises them. Still, due to a lot of disagreement, I finally told him I wouldn’t see him again unless I needed him to write letters, which is the only thing he has never failed me.

Since 2001 after I was abused in IMH I learn about psychairty and social service. i and learned about the landscape of the 2. And after what happened in 2020. I try to seek help from using everything I can thought of but fail badly.

Still…a lesson I learn from a lawyer and my psychiraist. Life is unfair, anyone that has the means to activate MHCTA is king and regardless how bad the experaice is nothing the victim can do to them. As in Singapore law, people that is unsound minded is not protected by the law. Even when MHCTA has a section where is protects people from misusing of the act. There is no way for the victim to use it. Since police don’t take in reports of MHCTA misuse, so does MOH, MHA, MSF and MND.

And its the current generation of professionals who are just too snowflake to help/ listen to people with extreme mental health concerns. Too easy to trigger a panic and make them activate MHCTA.

5

Hi @user1446,

It sounds like you’ve been through an incredibly tough journey, filled with profound challenges and experiences that have left lasting emotional scars. Your narrative reflects a deep sense of frustration and fear, particularly toward systems and institutions meant to provide support but, in your view, have caused harm instead. Facing such significant trauma, compounded by CPTSD and feelings of mental impairment, can indeed create overwhelming obstacles in daily life, including navigating social services and healthcare. Your reliance on your dog as an emotional support companion is a heartfelt example of how you’ve tried to cope and find stability despite these struggles describe, especially the 2001 incident and your experience in 2020, clearly carry a weight of anxiety and distrust toward psychiatric care and the MHCTA. It’s understandable that these experiences could lead to feelings of vulnerability and fear about seeking help. Your decision to limit interactions with your psychiatrist to specific tasks, such as letter-writing, might reflect the complexity of your relationship with professional support. It’s commendable that you’ve taken steps to educate yourself about psychiatry and social services, even in the face of such challenges—this demonstrates resilience and a desire to advocate for yourself in difficult circumstances.

At the same time, it’s important to acknowledge that systemic flaws and procedural hurdles can exist, and your perspective sheds light on these concerns.

However, it’s equally vital to approach conversations about healthcare workers and government entities with mindfulness and fairness. Many individuals in these roles work hard to help people in need, and while mistakes or misunderstandings can happen, sweeping accusations or abusive remarks may risk overshadowing genuine efforts and deter potential help-seekers. Constructive dialogue can pave the way for change and mutual understanding. Healthcare workers at IMH and other hospitals are there to assist you; so please do not abuse them.

In moments of crisis, your voice and story are integral to shaping solutions that work for you. While past trauma and distrust may make it hard to reach out, there are paths toward finding compassionate, trustworthy individuals who can offer support. Your emotional support dog is a wonderful companion, and continuing to rely on sources of comfort and stability may help alleviate some of the anxiety you face. Should you ever feel comfortable exploring professional assistance further, perhaps focusing on collaborative and empathetic approaches could open doors to healing over time. You deserve to be heard and supported as you navigate these challenges.

6

Healthcare workers at IMH and other hospitals are there to assist you; so please do not abuse them.?

I am always a victim of their judgmental mistreatment and abuse.

I always find myself being a listening ear for stressful healthcare and social service staff who share about their unhappiness in work. But there are also many of them dont wish to share their unhappiness in work as they always think clients are not capable of understanding them or its unprofessional to do so.

a friendly conversation dont always work, in 2020 my mistreatment come after a friendly conversation with a stupid A&E doctor making stupid assumptions.

so before you jump into wrong judgement.

Its not easy for my to find help when my knowledge is in par to most of the professional and like what my psychiatrist once mention, most doctors have a lot of ego in them and the tend to feel more superior to their patients.

7

Sorry you’ve got all these challenges to manage :cry::cry: but what I’m getting most strongly from all that you’ve shared is that you’ve got a strong perspective and you’re pretty tenacious :flexed_biceps:t3: I’m also hearing a lot of initiative towards finding solutions for the concerns you’re dealing with, and that I guess is what we can do in life. To try our best and make the best of what we can​:heart:
You were asking about where else to get support since what you’ve tried thus far doesn’t work, mmm how about people around you or tools you can use for self-support? I’m curious since u didn’t mention abt your other sources of support!
I personally haven’t experienced services you mentioned so I can’t say anything abt it, but my guess is that everyone has different level of receptiveness towards different solutions. What worked for others may unfortunately be unsuited for you. But the world is so so big and there’s much to explore. If anything, I hope you are kind to yourself and allow yourself moments to appreciate any small things in life that may be good in your opinion!! I know it’s seems so irrelevant, but I’m personally really not ambitious in life. I just want each day to be spent where I can find moments of goodness even if it may be fleeting. Like listening to and watching the rain fall right now feels pretty calming for me. Idk I’m babbling alr hahaha just thought to share my thoughts with you and to let you know you are more than your conditions, be it physical or mental. You are you and your feelings are valid and you deserve to experience good things in life no matter big or small. :heart::heart::heart:

8

Hey @user1446,

It’s good to hear from you again and to hear the depth of your pain, the weight of your frustration, and the exhaustion that comes from being repeatedly failed by systems meant to help you. Your experiences—the abuse at IMH at 16, the trauma of MHCTA in 2020, and the invalidation by professionals who should have been allies—are not just “bad luck” or “missteps”. They’re profound betrayals. Betrayals that left you with scars (CPTSD, the mental impairment you describe, and the terror of seeking help) and a cynicism that makes complete sense. Of course you don’t trust. Of course you’re guarded. Anyone who’d been through what you have would be.

You’re right: “trial and error” is a luxury for people who haven’t been traumatised by the very institutions meant to protect them. It’s infuriating to be told to “just try again” when you know firsthand how easily “help” can turn into harm. And the powerlessness you describe—the impossibility of holding anyone accountable under MHCTA, the way the law dismisses “unsound minds”, the way your suffering is rendered invisible—that’s not paranoia. That’s the system showing you its teeth. Your anger is justified. Your fear is rational.

A few things stand out:

  • Your dog isn’t just a pet. He’s a lifeline. The fact that strangers (or even professionals) don’t understand that reflects their ignorance, not your need being “unreasonable”. It’s heartbreaking that even this small comfort is questioned.
  • You’ve become an expert out of necessity. Knowing as much as the professionals isn’t arrogance—it’s survival. But it’s also isolating. When you see through the system’s flaws so clearly, where do you turn?
  • The double bind of being a listening ear for the very people who’ve hurt you. The irony of being more compassionate to healthcare workers than they’ve been to you… it’s cruel. And it speaks to your humanity, even when the system has treated you as less than human.

I won’t insult you with empty reassurances or “just hang in there” platitudes. What I will say:

  • Your mistrust isn’t the problem. The system’s failure to earn your trust is.
  • Your survival—however messy, however exhausted—is a rebellion against every time the system tried to erase you.
  • If “help” feels like a threat right now, that’s okay. You don’t owe anyone your vulnerability.

I’m sorry. Sorry you’ve had to fight this hard. Sorry the people who were supposed to care added to your pain instead. And sorry that the world makes you justify your anger when it’s the most rational response to what you’ve endured. You deserve so much better.

If there’s any space I can hold for you—whether to rage, to grieve, or just to sit in silence together— as a professional, I am here. No judgement, no pressure, no condescension. Just witnessing.

9

Hi @user1446,

It’s that you’ve had to endure such mistreatment and unfair judgments, especially in situations where you approached conversations with genuine goodwill. It can be deeply frustrating when the very people who are supposed to provide care and understanding fail to see your perspective or even turn interactions into experiences that leave you feeling unheard, dismissed, or worse—judged unfairly. No one deserves to be treated that way, and I want to acknowledge the emotional toll it must take on you.

Being a listening ear for healthcare and social service staff, even when they are overwhelmed, shows an incredible depth of empathy on your part. It’s disheartening that some professionals assume clients cannot understand their struggles, and even more so when their rigid ideas of professionalism create barriers to meaningful conversations. You’ve demonstrated a level of insight and emotional intelligence that many may not take the time to recognize, and that can be incredibly isolating. It’s a difficult place to be—having knowledge that should bridge gaps, but instead, being met with resistance or even outright dismissiveness.

The experience you had in 2020, when a friendly conversation resulted in mistreatment, sounds profoundly unjust. That kind of betrayal—where someone twists intentions or makes harmful assumptions—can make it hard to trust interactions moving forward. It makes sense why you would be cautious in conversations, and why finding help is so challenging when you are already equipped with knowledge equal to professionals. Unfortunately, as your psychiatrist pointed out, some doctors allow their egos to dictate their approach rather than fostering the humility needed to truly connect with patients. It’s an unfortunate reality that can make navigating the healthcare system even more exhausting.

Please know that your experiences matter, and your frustrations are valid. The weight of repeated mistreatment and judgment can be overwhelming, but you are not alone in feeling this way. I truly hope you find spaces where your knowledge is acknowledged and respected, where conversations don’t come with assumptions or dismissal, and where genuine care outweighs professional ego. If there’s anything that Let’s Talk can do to support you; whether that’s just listening or exploring possible ways to navigate these challenges, we are here for you.

With that said, the allegations that you made seemed rather alarming, and it is possible that the actions of the psychiatrist would be considered illegal under the Healthcare Services act. You are able to lodge a complaint against IMH, or even lodge a police report / seek legal assistance if necessary.

A thorough investigation would then need to be made by the hospital in order to identify the alleged wrongdoings by the psychiatrist. I’ve attached the relevant links below.

IMH Feedback Form: https://www.imh.com.sg/Pages/Feedback.aspx

MOH Feedback Form: Feedback | Ministry of Health

Pro Bono Legal Assistance: https://www.probono.sg/

Police Report: SPF e-Services