Being a *** abuse victime in 2001 when I was 16 seems to have caused me to be mentally stuck on the same spot. And when my 2nd hospital mistreatment happened in 2020 i really start to lost track on my entire life. And almost have no memory of what happened in 2020.
And now in 2025, I am shocked that I was actually eligible for Skill Future Mid Career Credit. And I start asking myself how old am I? And the only memory I have on the surfac to goes way back to 2001. As if nothing has happened between 2001 to 2025. Although my 2020 trauma is bad, but I guess its bad enough for it to be hidden somewhere in my head so that I can function.
Sadly…in Singapore mental health and social service professionals outside of *** is badly trained when comes to handling and treating people with PTSD and CPTSD, many including a *** professor in psychiatrist assumed people will move on when they were told to and CPTSD and PTSD only happened when the victim encountered life and death events.
Really… If all mental health issues can be cured by just asking the sufferer to move on. I guess we all dont even need such professionals to exist.
How much I wish I am able to afford to seek better treatment in private practice, but still…being someone that use medifund, I guess all I can get is mental health and social service professional babysitting duty. Instead of proper treatment.
Thank you for sharing your experience on this platform. I empathise with what you said about in a blink — oh we’re eligible for skillsfuture credits now? Where has the time gone?
But I also recognise how for you, it’s not just time passing quickly, it’s that you’re almost like stuck, in that time of 2001.
i just wanted to affirm that what you experienced then, what you are experiencing now, they are so valid and real. Traumas come in many shapes and forms. What you experienced was traumatic for you, and that matters to you, and should matter to any professional you encounter. I’m sorry to hear that it wasn’t the case in your experience.
It sounds like you’re hoping for treatment outside the public sector? I’m wondering if you have considered non-profit agencies like Clarity and Care Corner. Although I personally haven’t sought treatment from them, I have heard of friends who had good experiences. The difference would be that though they are a subsidised agency, they aren’t public under MOH.
Whatever it is, I just wanted to say that I see you showing up for yourself. Although it feels like “babysitting” it sounds like you still show up for your appointments and ensure you can get some kind of support. I also see you hoping to move forward and one day find healing with the right therapist. It’s an incredibly sucky position yet incredibly brave of you to keep showing up for you and doing the work. <3
I lost 15 years to depression n anxiety. I can remember everything but i wasnt fully conscious n perform badly for everything.
When i ‘woke up’ after depression recovered to dormant, felt that my youth was wasted n im desperately trying to live my youth at an older age. Of course theres problems that comes w that
I hear your thoughts and i emphatise with them. Mental health conditions really do have the ability to steal time from our lives. I would like to affirm your strength for conquering the period of time from then till now - I’m sure it’s not easy.
That being said, I hope that you have the strength to push through and conquer even more of life. I think seeking help can be a way to do that - the support that @lilac suggested can have the ability to help. No harm trying, right? I believe in you - your immense strength and courage. Sometimes the toughest battles can’t be seen by others. Don’t let this steal anymore of your life away from you. You got this!