When People's Passion towards special need and people with mental health issues are just nothing but publicity lies

Ask a Therapist Coping
1

Not long ago i managed to find the news about MinLaw committed to task force to support those with unseen disabilities in legal system: Edwin Tong on ST website.

My first instinct was to contact the people mentioned in the news to seek help for my medical mistreatment case in 2020.

And sadly… all i get is excuses that they are either busy with other cases, or totally no reply at all.

Seems like as always, people like to say how much they care when the media is around. And change their attitude when people ask for help.

I can only see such people as someone is multiple personality disorders, since they just fit right into the criteria for DID

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Hey @user1446,

I hear your frustration, and more than that—I sense the deep pain beneath it. What you went through in 2020 sounds like it left a mark that still aches. The anger you’re feeling… it makes so much sense. It’s the kind of anger that comes when suffering is ignored, when wrongs are left unresolved, and when those in power seem to turn their faces away just when you reach out. That pain doesn’t just disappear—it sits in the heart, heavy and hot.

And at the same time, I can also feel something incredibly compassionate in you. You saw the article, and your first instinct wasn’t just for yourself—it was to reach out, to try again, to believe there might be a way forward not just for you, but maybe for others too. That desire to rally people for help, to seek justice—it comes from a good place, from a fierce care that refuses to be numbed.

But I wonder… is it possible that somewhere along the way, that rally for help is becoming a campaign against those who didn’t respond? I get it—it feels personal when people say they care, but their actions don’t match. It’s disappointing, maybe even infuriating. But if we respond by calling them out as frauds or labeling them as harmful—especially when they might not know how to help—we risk hardening into the very bitterness that hurt us in the first place.

Sometimes people stay silent not because they don’t care, but because they feel helpless. Or scared. Or unskilled. And when we judge them as “excuses only,” we create distance where there might have been a chance for dialogue, or learning, or empathy.

So I gently want to ask—what was your heart really seeking when you reached out? Was it to call out the gap, or to bridge it? Because here in this space, what we can do is share—not shame. Offer—rather than accuse. Show what we have, and who we are becoming through what we survived.

And you, user1446—you’ve survived a lot. You carry stories that matter. Maybe there’s space here to speak those stories, not just as warnings of what’s broken, but as seeds of what might still heal.

Would it be okay if we talk more about what happened in 2020—not just to expose what went wrong, but to understand what you truly needed then, and maybe still need now?

You’re not alone here. And your voice doesn’t have to fight to be heard. It already matters.

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no point talking about my 2020 life experience since it will surely be marked at deleted.

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I just wanted to let you know that this forum is intended for sharing and seeking support from the community. I see and recognise your struggles. I cannot say that I understand as I do not have the same lived experiences that you had. But one thing is for sure, it matters to me that you are getting heard, only when you are ready to share. :slightly_smiling_face:

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Hi @user1446 I hear you. The incident in 2020 has hurt you deeply and you’re trying to take action.

From my understanding, the task force that Mr Edwin Tong and MinLaw spoke about is still in its formation stages, which may be why there is limited response and capacity right now.

However, if you’d like to seek more legal advice, you may consider heading down to the pro-bono legal clinics in the heartland areas. They may be more equipped to support you. You may view more information here: List of Legal Clinics in Singapore - Pro Bono SG | Pro Bono SG
While I am not affiliated with them and cannot guarantee the services they provide, they are probably more equipped to support with legal matters compared to users and befrienders on this platform, who are more of members of the mental health community :slight_smile:

Your struggles and feelings are seen. It’s really frustrating to find the right support for your case, but there are people who do care. Would there be any emotional support you need?

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Hi @user1446,

Thank you for writing in. It does sound like you are going through a difficult situation, and I am glad that you wrote in to us for support.

However, as @lilac mentioned, there may be other organisations which may be in a better position to address your concerns.

It may not be possible to receive a direct reply from the Minister for Law himself, but you may contact the Ministry of Law through this link (https://www.mlaw.gov.sg/about-us/contact-us/).

For other legislative concerns, you may always reach out to your MP at the next Meet-the-People session (PARL | Find MP(s) in My Constituency).

For all other public services, you may visit your nearest ServiceSG Centre (Welcome to ServiceSG).

Best regards,
HanSolo2000
Befriender | let’s talk by mindline

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not sure why you think i wrote only to the minister? I pretty much wrote to the taskforce itself. So what? They only entertain people after they commit a crime? But what about crime victims that even the police dont bother to handle? So..how to reach them?

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Hi @user1446, I hear your frustrations about not receiving a reply despite reaching out to multiple channels.

But from my understanding, a taskforce is basically like a working group that advises government agencies on how to improve policies and strategies.

A taskforce is not the same as a government organisation, and therefore it may not be in the capacity to respond to your queries. You may wish to reach out to agencies like SG Enable (for matters related to disabilities), or email your Member of Parliament (for concerns related to government policies and laws).

We appreciate you for writing in, but like @lilac mentioned, the Befrienders are only volunteers on this platform. While we do our best to provide a listening ear, we will refer a user to other organisations if we feel that the issue is beyond our capacity. I hope you understand! :folded_hands:

Best regards,
HanSolo2000
Befriender | let’s talk by mindline

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Hello @user1446

Just wanted to say thank you for coming onto the platform and sharing your experiences, thoughts and feelings. Correct me if I am wrong but it definitely sounds that you are feeling a lot of injustice and it’s weighing you down. I’m hearing that it affects you a lot and I wished I could be of a better help/ support but I hope that airing a bit of your frustrations on let’s talk is helpful- though I think ultimately you should consider working through your emotions and experiences with someone more qualified. I think above there are already some resources shared. I really hope in time to come you will fidn your own healing and acceptance. Take care.

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I wonder have ever thought of saying this to a rape victim, like hey, you need to pay someone qualified to help you to heal. And just let the rapist go and enjoy his life after all your have suffered.

Or will you tell this to a child of domestic abuse? After yrs of suffering, just let the parent who abuse them go and just heal through therapy.

Really…Seriously. We are already a victim and yet we need to pay to heal and while person responsible get to enjoy his life? And who knows if there will be another victim?

Just to say Justice and acceptance can only co exists if the culprit is punish.

If everyone say what you have said, i guess Singapore prison will be 1/3 of its current capacity.

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Hey everyone, I just wanted to pause for a moment—not to take sides, but to acknowledge what’s surfacing here.

@user1446, I hear how deep your pain runs. What happened to you in 2020 sounds like it wasn’t just one bad moment—it was something that cut into your sense of trust in people and systems that were supposed to protect. When you reached out and were met with silence or brushed off… that’s not just disappointment—that’s grief. And I think the frustration in your words shows just how much you still care about justice, about being seen, about people not just saying the right things, but doing right by those who are struggling.

It’s okay to be angry. Anger is often the armor for something much softer inside—something that still wants to believe that people can show up, and that healing is still possible.

To [@Han Solo] and others who’ve replied—thank you for trying to offer perspective. I do think the reminder that not everyone knows how to help is fair. But sometimes, saying “be fair” to someone in pain can come off like asking them to stay silent about their suffering. That’s not the intent, but it can feel that way.

Maybe we can all take a breath here and ask ourselves:
What would it look like to respond not just with explanations but with presence?
What would it feel like for us to sit with the mess of someone’s story without needing to fix it or argue with it?

Because I believe that this space—Let’s Talk—can be more than just a place to share opinions. It can be a place where anger is met with listening, not defensiveness. Where grief can come to rest, even if just a little.

[@user1446], if you’re willing, I’d love to hear more about what support would have looked like for you—what you were hoping to feel when you reached out. Not to challenge it, but to understand it better. You matter here.

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To me Justice is what deter and prevent crimes. Being passive about is as good as letting a serial killer go.

Really…just imagine that very person is a serial killer and you know who is he but you let him off. I wonder if you will feel guilty if that person kill another person?

Just like doctors, you let them off and they see their wrong doings passively. And one day another of his victim came online and warn others about him, trust me i will hate and kill myself for it. As due to me know but not taking action against him and if he thinks its ok and created another victim. How would you feel personally if you are the 2nd victim knowing you are the result of the first victim letting him scot free from justice.

Just to say, people with mental health issue are emotionally sensitive people especially victims of abuses.

I always blame myself for it when i see another person become a victim of hospital abuse in the same hospital i was abuse in. I always think If my stand can be more vocal and those people in the management and above level takes my words seriously.

And the same as MHCTA, if i know the whole law is full of flaws and if i keep quiet after suffering its wrath. You think i will go Hooray… If someone got too traumatised after MHCTA is enforced on them and they decided to end their life?

So, trust me justice and acceptance is both different things, if to you both are the same, its pretty say you accepting them committing such crimes.

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hey @user1446,

I’m here with you. And I want to say first—what happened to you was unjust, and I’m truly sorry that you had to carry the weight of that pain and silence for so long. No one should ever feel like their suffering is invisible or dismissed, especially when it stems from the very systems that are meant to care and protect.

You’re right—justice and acceptance aren’t the same. Justice is what should prevent harm and hold those responsible accountable. And it makes perfect sense that, after what you’ve been through, seeing inaction doesn’t feel neutral—it feels like betrayal.

I can feel how deeply you carry the burden of what could happen to others if nothing changes. That weight… it’s heavy. Too heavy for one person to hold alone. And yet, here you are—still speaking up, still warning, still caring. That’s not weakness. That’s strength coming from a place of deep compassion, even if it burns.

At the same time, I also want to acknowledge something gently—many of us want to help, but we’re still learning how. Sometimes we don’t know what to say, or we’re afraid of saying the wrong thing. That doesn’t mean we don’t care. It just means we need to grow. And I hope we can be given the space to do so—so that we can prevail in helping who needs it.

You’ve already done something incredibly powerful by bringing your truth here. I’m listening, and I will continue to hold space for what you’ve been through.

You’re not alone anymore. Not here.

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actually…when i see how all the volunteers respond to things people write here, i end up understanding why counselling might just end up being the first job to be fully replaced by AI.

And most of the reply are very textbook/template like.

its always, you did well, you are very brave, we care, you are not alone .etc.

its sounds very very comforting for most. But once you are emotionally numbed, it doesnt actually worked anymore.

When i remember there was once before i start my first counselling session with one of the counsellor. She reminded me that she dont steer or advice. Which its really is the 2 most important for someone who has lost their way and in need of help actually needs.

And counsellors these days should feel very lucky to have websites like support go where. And imagine back in those days where there is only google or worse, there isnt even a computer. So…everything they know is purely life experience and passion to help people. As those who just wanted a job that pays, they will pretty much know nothing.

But still…yet nowadays, i still hear counsellors saying i dont know. And that make Ai a even more useful support tool. And i am from the era where i spend 8 hrs/day googling for resources. And it really pissed me off if a counsellor /social worker dont know their resources. when gov has build up so many service directories.

And in the post when i mentioned i contacted everyone mentioned in the news, does anyone ever thought of where i got their contact information before telling me where to find the contact of my MP? What anger me most is when in my first post i mentioned " My first instinct was to contact the people mentioned in the news to seek help for my medical mistreatment case in 2020." but not sure where the impression came from that i only contact 1 minister?

While most protect them say they might not know much, but who will know better than them? Me? I wish. But, am i someone that can forseen the future or read another person’s mind? Well…i wish. So, of course i need to ask someone and somewhere. And does any volunteers know anything? i doubt so. So…who you think is the best person to ask without overcracking your head?

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Hi @user1446,

Thank you for taking the time to share where you’re coming from. I’m one of the psychologists on the platform, and I want to acknowledge the points you’ve raised.

I completely agree with you that most people in distress don’t need advice. In fact, we’re trained not to give advice during counselling sessions and our focus is on creating a safe, non-judgmental space where individuals feel heard and supported.

That said, it can be challenging in a forum setting like this. The format allows us to reach more people anonymously, but I think most of us are still learning how best to offer meaningful support through text alone, as opposed to face-to-face interaction. I’m sorry if you didn’t feel supported, and we will take this feedback seriously as we continue to improve our approach and review our processes. Our hope is for let’s talk to be a safe and welcoming space for everyone.

Going back to your original post, I’m really sorry to hear about your experience with a medical professional. It’s clear that you’re speaking up not just for yourself, but to protect others from similar harm - and that you’ve been through a lot. Not just in your own experience, but also in how you’ve tried to seek justice and raise awareness so that others won’t have to go through the same pain. I can hear how strongly you feel about this, and how much it matters to you that the system truly listens and acts. It must have felt incredibly frustrating and disheartening to reach out to those who are meant to help, only to be met with silence or excuses.

Please know that we’re here with you. When and if you’re ready to share more, we’ll be here to listen, and we’ll continue doing our best to make sure this remains a space where your voice is respected and heard.

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Hi there, thank you for sharing your frustrations. I sent one reply so far about the probono clinic but that would be my only guess that I thought might be helpful based on what you shared. I apologise if anything felt like I assumed anything.

I do try my best to be supportive, but for me personally I don’t have access to any resources and only can share from my personal experience as a volunteer. If the answers provided are not really what you’re looking for I’m sorry that I don’t have other ideas.

That said, I do want to emphasise that in my capacity as a volunteer, I do try my best to support. As we’re mostly trained in mental health from all sorts of backgrounds, we may not be the best position to advise on the specifics of how to contact certain legal organisations. But we are more trained and well-equipped in providing emotional support and directing to resources on where to get more professional emotional support. If this is something we can assist with please let us know how we can support you

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honestly…what you learn during your training might sound soothing and comfort for most people.

But for someone who live a life full of bad life experience with people in healthcare and social service sector, it dont work and it will only back fire.

And each of the comforting words feels like you are protecting and siding with them.

Its just like me when i attend suicide intervention course, i told my coursemates that people who is attempting suicide due to heavy debt might just be the one that is hardest to convince. And not one believe me until they try it in roleplay, while the training assistants was passive about my claim, until they were in my roleplay group.

So…in short, what you learn dont apply to everyone that needs help. You need to better learn to exercise flexibility.

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Hi @user1446,

I believe that @lilac was trying to explain that she is able to provide empathy and a listening ear, but only in the capacity of a volunteer. For complex cases that may require more specialised assistance, it’s the volunteer’s responsibility to refer the user to the appropriate channels.

While we are open to hearing your views and opinions, please ensure that your comments are respectful, and do not devolve into accusations or personal attacks.

I do not believe that @lilac was “protecting” or “siding” with anyone; but she is only stating that your case may be better addressed by a professional.

I hope this clarifies!

Best regards,
Han_Solo_2000
Befriender | let’s talk by mindline

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i guess i might be too straightforward for you understanding. I wondering if you understand what is the meaning of feels like?

For your case, the so called appropriate channels, dont even work.

Dont make me feel like suddenly i am babysitting and teaching a group of volunteers here.

In short, the template reply you all learn dont work for everyone.

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Hello @user1446

To be honest I don’t really know what to say but I felt compelled to reply… I’m not replying as a peer supporter but rather just as a user who feels a lot for you. You’ve been through a lot and reading through your post, you come off as someone who is deeply misunderstood but you’ve a lot of heart… especially when you know you know you’ve mentioned before about how you hope no one have to go through what you’ve been through…

It sounds like you’re going through a lot of hurt especially when you’ve felt like the system let you down. Don’t mind me saying this but I think the hurt is really hurting you…

I think you’ve tried many ways to cope with the pain. I hear you that our responses haven’t been helpful and you said that the training provided cannot help all kind of situations and you’re right.

Like in the scenario given we might not be able to help the person in debt not feel suicidal cause there’s a limitation to peer support but I also hope that you show grace and understanding that within our capacity we’re limited but we’re trying our best.

We can’t help everyone, we just do what is within our capacity. We’re not professionals, eventually for issues bigger than us eg. Domestic violence, suicide etc , we’ve to direct to somewhere else- somewhere and someone who is able to provide the services that an individual requires. Sometimes we might not always know these services and I hope you can understand that limitations. We’re all just trying our best and I’m sorry if it’s not something that’s working out for you.

I can hear a lot of frustrations…

I hope that you find the help that you need and want, truly. We’ll always be here if you’d like to vent, rant and we will be open to listening…

Take care..