I am convinced that I would end up alone when I grow older. This constant thought has plagued me, especially when I’m alone at night, just as I am about to sleep.
Not only does it make me anxious to lose my parents, especially being the only daughter, I also worry about how I’m able to ensure that they would be able to enjoy retirement, and more so the thought of losing them is unimaginable for me. In terms of friends, I have had my fair share of solid and shallow friends, to the point where every single time I meet new people, I have to question or tell myself that eventually they’ll leave me because I bore them or I’m too much for them again.
But the main thing I wanted to cover in this post was my belief that I won’t find my soulmate. Yes, I know cliche, but right now at where I am in my life, seeing my friends find partners who understand them and love them, I can’t help but feel a sense of FOMO and feel guilty for feeling it.
The main advice I get from my friends with long-term partners is that to be patient and to learn to love myself first then look, but really how do I do that? I feel like at this point of time every time I find a guy cute or attractive I just need to tell myself that I would have to eventually give it, because no way would they even consider me in a romantic sense.
Mainly, I just need guidance and advice on how to become more patient and also learn to love myself more.
Its about the moments of the journey than the destination. Just enjoy the moments. Everyone dies anyways.
What part do u not like about urself? Have u tried dating apps?
hi thanks for commenting, i appreciate it alot! I think it terms of part, i think i’m just self-conscious on the way I look, i don’t fit in w the typical beauty standards espppp here in sg which sucks, and I feel my personality is too much for ppl to handle (i love to talk about things that I am passionate about, I have been described as a loud person). In terms of dating apps, I am going to be legal for them soon, but i do still steer away from the idea of it, again based on my irrational fears 
I dont see what u mentioned as issues. U can look at couples in the public n realise that some couples dont fit in beauty standards.
Do u have guy frens? U can try meetup app or ccas to make frens n things will naturally take place
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Hello @user7902
Thank you for sharing something that really resonates with me. Personally, I also feel like I won’t be able to find a partner because I’m quirky and frankly not that attractive as well. The fear of being alone is really real and really valid.
However, I would encourage you to be gentle with yourself. I hear that you’d like to be more patient in waiting for a partner and be able to love yourself more. These won’t be achieved over night but you can start by taking small actions - celebrating the small wins in life, doing things that makes you happy/ feel good and speaking to yourself with kindness.
I believe with time and practice, you’ll be able to be more patient and be able to love yourself more, even accepting who you are. Personally, I think it might also be helpful to engage with a well-being coach who’s able to help guide you and support you so you don’t feel so alone in this.
In the meanwhile the let’s talk community is here for you. I really hope you’ll be able to find what you are searching for. Take care! 
This reminded of this quote I came across - nothing ventured, nothing gained. I think you’ll never know the outcome unless you try. Don’t discredit yourself, frankly looks isn’t everything and you never know someone take a liking to your personality. Don’t be discouraged if you don’t succeed. I believe that success come to those who are willing to take risk and never gives up.
From reading what you’ve shared here and referencing your main question in your original post, a thought entered my mind while reading and that is: thoughts like this of how you don’t fit the beauty standards in sg and how you think your personality is too much are exactly the little baby steps you can work on towards appreciating and loving yourself more 
when you shared all that you’ve shared and as I’m reading them, my thoughts are that you’re a really considerate, kind and humble person - all good qualities! You are loud and passionate abt your interests and once again a wonderful quality - you know yourself and what you like and you’re expressive about them! You are willing and able to share your thoughts pretty articulate here and are unafraid in finding support and being vulnerable with people - that shows courage!!
The advice from your friends, I’m guilty of sharing that with my friends too before, I can see now how ambiguous that can be >< if I were to clarify on that suggestion, I would say i think it’s a lot about the law of attraction! Our positive or negative thoughts bring positive or negative experiences into our lives! So when we think poorly of ourselves, we attract people who likely would think poorly of us too. And when we focus on appreciating and validating little things abt ourselves, you’re expanding the good things and thus attracting good people who would also appreciate more and more things abt you too!! So the loving yourself bit, is sth that will need to come from deep within your heart. You are a good person, with great value and great qualities, awaiting yourself to find, accept, embrace and embody!!! 
by then whether the right person comes along, gotta leave it to fate honestly hahaha but you’ll be fine either way along the way. And I have faith, the right person for you will ultimately come into your life when you’re fully ready for it 
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