I am lost in my life

I am 21 y/o this year. I have lost all my interest in life and have no motivation and the guts to face tomorrow. For me, everyday is the same. Nothing special and no where belong. My condition is getting worser and worser.

I tried to opened up my heart to my mom but she always cut me off from the topic and started to talk about her own. I told myself, maybe there could be her own way to convience people. Took a big step for me to try but results in disappointment, no one is willing to listen to my concerns.

Life becoming meaningless to me, there’s no where i belong. i wear different flesh mask to deal with different people, even i have to wear in my so called “home” to deal with my family.

I spent plenty of time in showering to figure out what is happening to me. But unfortunately even myself couldn’t figure out the answer. I tried to search from internet or even from books, but there’s no answer to solve my concerns.

I am tired to deal with all these issues and this fake world. What if i just die and restart my life in next life? will i get a better life and family?

I realized there is something really wrong with me but Im not financially enough to seek for counsellor. It took me a really big step to share my thoughts here after few years.

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Hi @Life

Firstly, thank you for sharing your vulnerability with us. It truly takes a lot of courage to be authentic about feelings, and I commend you for that.

I hear you, and I can see that you’re going through an incredibly challenging time. Feeling like every day is blending into the next, with no sense of purpose or belonging, is a heavy burden to carry. It’s incredibly brave of you to share these feelings, especially when you’ve faced challenges opening up to those close to you.

The struggle to find someone who truly listens and understands can be very disheartening. It’s difficult when the people we hope will support us, like family, seem unavailable or caught up in their own concerns. It’s tough to wear different masks for different situations, especially when it feels necessary even at home, where we hope to find comfort and understanding.

I understand that you’ve been grappling with these feelings for a while, searching for answers both within yourself and through external resources. The emotional exhaustion from attempting to comprehend your feelings and finding no solutions can be truly draining - and it makes sense to feel this way.

I want you to focus on being kind to yourself and offer yourself compassion. The idea of starting over in a different life might offer a sense of escape from the current challenges, but I want to reassure you that your life is meaningful and valuable, even if it might not feel that way right now. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed and lost, and it’s incredibly important to acknowledge that seeking help or support is a courageous step.

I can see that you’re really struggling emotionally, and have thoughts of hurting yourself. I want to encourage you to reach out to crisis hotlines if you feel overwhelmed or are in immediate danger:

I also noted that you mentioned financial constraints hindering your ability to access counseling. There are resources available, even on a limited budget. Many community centers, universities, or online platforms offer low-cost or even free counseling services. Additionally, there might be helplines or support groups that can offer guidance and a listening ear without financial obligations.

I’m sharing a few online options that you might find helpful for the time being:

  1. Limitless : Talk To Someone - Limitless
  2. CPH chat : https://www.cphonlinecounselling.sg/hc/en-us
  3. IMH CHAT : https://www.imh.com.sg/CHAT/Pages/default.aspx
  4. ec2.sg : https://fycs.org/ec2-sg

Your decision to reach out here is really commendable and requires bravery! It’s a sign of strength and willingness to explore solutions. Please remember that you’re not alone on this journey and we are here to support you. Your life matters, and you are important.

Please reach out to the online options for a start and come back here to this platform, update us on how it’s been going for you. Hope to hear from you soon!