I can't do this anymore.

Ask a Therapist Mental Health Conditions
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I was diagnosed with depression a few years back but managed to get through it but i think i’m falling even deeper into it now.

I’m struggling with family, friends, work and now even my relationship is going down. I became the problem of everything. I get frustrated, sensitive, annoyed and things. My dog became sick and I had to look after him while i’m on a week leave. Went back to work and I was dump with tons of work and has tight deadlines. I work for the government hence i’m unable to go home on my weekdays. I sustained a long term injury on my knee from work last year which restricted me from doing outdoor activities or even doing work. I can’t take off or even leave from work because there’s so much work to do and my superior aren’t approving it. My relationship became another issue that i’m constantly having fights with my partner. My friends ditched me on my birthday because they aren’t free when we made plans beforehand.

I became so lonely and felt like i have nobody to go to. I can’t speak to anyone here at work, home or friends. I started to starve myself at work and force myself to throw up whenever i eat. I can’t sleep at night because i’m constantly thinking about what is wrong with me. I cried every night hoping the next day wouldn’t come. Time to time i wonder what is it like if I’m no longer around. Will they notice i’m not here?

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Dear @depressedhoneybee,

Thank you for coming to this platform to share what you’re going through. I’m really sorry to hear that you’re facing such a tough time. It sounds like you’re dealing with a lot on multiple fronts, and it can feel overwhelming. You’ve already shown a lot of strength by managing your depression in the past and by taking care of your dog despite everything you’re going through. Reaching out here is another sign of your resilience and courage. It takes a lot to open up and seek support, and that’s something to be proud of. :clap:t4: :clap:t4:

It seems that struggling with family, friends, work, and your relationship all at once is incredibly difficult. It must be very frustrating to feel like you’re the problem in every situation. Taking care of a sick pet while dealing with a knee injury and a heavy workload must be exhausting. You are handling more than anyone should have to, and it’s no wonder you’re feeling overwhelmed.

It must have been incredibly hurtful when your friends cancelled last minute on your birthday plans. Feeling let down by those close to you can deepen feelings of isolation and loneliness. May I check, did your friend share a valid reason for cancelling or make attempts to repair the situation? Additionally, did you let your friend know how hurt you were by their cancellation? Speaking up and being assertive about your needs can help ensure that your feelings are acknowledged and addressed in your relationships.

Wondering if people will notice you’re missing sounds like you’re craving connection and bonding. This is achievable by learning better communication strategies. Sharing with people directly what you wish or want can enable them to know your needs, and they may be able to respond better in a way you would like.

Remember, your self-worth doesn’t change based on other people’s reactions. You are valuable and important just as you are. Self-care is a lifelong, ongoing process, just like taking care of your physical health.

I’m concerned about you forcing yourself to throw up and starving yourself. It sounds like you’re experiencing a lot of hurt, and this requires extra support. Not eating well can impact your gut health, which in turn affects hormone health and mood regulation. I strongly encourage you to reach out to a psychiatrist for assessment and professional support for tailored guidance. If you’ve had therapy before, consider reaching out to your therapist again, or find a new one who can help you navigate through this. If you feel comfortable, please share what has held you back from reaching out to your psychiatrist or therapist again.

In this moment, it may feel like things can’t improve and everything feels overwhelming. I hope you’ll remind yourself of your many wonderful traits and the strength within you, and give yourself permission to take things one step at a time. I hear that you can’t take leave, so I hope you’ll be able to try the following self-care suggestions: take breaks when possible, even a short 5 mins to practice mindful breathing can help improve your nervous system regulation. Taking care of your physical health can have a positive impact on your mental health. Try to maintain a balanced diet, get regular exercise within your physical limitations, and ensure you’re getting enough sleep. Even small routines can provide a sense of normalcy and control. Just aim to do something pleasant for yourself even if it’s just for a minute a day and slowly build up that duration.

Even if it feels like no one understands, try to talk to someone you trust about what you’re going through. This could be a family member, a close friend, or even a colleague who you feel comfortable with. Opening up can be the first step towards feeling less isolated. Here are some suggestions on how to start the conversation:

  1. Write It Down: If talking feels too hard, write a letter or message explaining how you feel. This can help you organise your thoughts and make the conversation easier.

  2. Choose a Comfortable Setting: Find a quiet and comfortable place where you can talk without interruptions. This can help you feel more at ease.

  3. Be Honest and Direct: Share your feelings honestly and directly. You might say something like, “I’ve been feeling really overwhelmed lately and I need someone to talk to.”

  4. Share Specific Examples: Give specific examples of what you’re experiencing to help the other person understand your situation better.

  5. Ask for What You Need: Whether it’s just someone to listen, advice, or help with specific tasks, let the person know how they can support you.

  6. Prepare for Their Response: Understand that they might not know what to say right away. Be patient and give them time to process what you’ve shared.

  7. Consider Professional Support: If you find it hard to open up to those close to you, reaching out to a mental health professional can provide a safe and confidential space to share your feelings.

I hope the above has been helpful and if you’d like more resources or if there is anything else you’d like to share with us, please do. We’re here to listen to you, your feelings are valid and you matter! :grinning: I truly hope the days ahead begin to improve for you sooner. :people_hugging:

Take care,
CoolBreeze =)

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Hey @depressedhoneybee :wave: Thank you for sharing I can only imagine how difficult and overwhelming it is for you now :disappointed_relieved:

I can tell from your stories that seem like a very considerate person, anyone who takes time off to take care of their dog is a good person to me heh :blush:

I just wanna say you are not the problem and that many things are just out of our control sometimes :people_hugging: Also its not true that people wont notice you when you are gone at least we will so don’t worry alright?

Feel free to share your woes here we are open to listen :people_hugging: