recently started a part time job , everything has been going well , smoothly. but i cant seem to stop this feeling of fear and dread everyday . every day i have to go to work i create a million new things to worry about and it makes me dread it alot. the thing is half of what i worry about in the past few days of work has never even happened but i keep thinking ‘what if tomorrow is different?’ and the fear is so immense it feels uncomfortable. despite surviving every single day so far, i would like some advice as to how to stop this and perhaps make things more enjoyable for me. also, im afraid of upsetting people , but at the expense of my own mental health. ik i shld priortise myself but i fear that they wont like me any more.
Dear @user948492
Thank you for reaching out. What you are currently feeling is very understandable, and you are certainly not alone in this.
I see that even though your part-time job is going well, your mind is stuck in “what if” mode, treating uncertainty as danger. That’s why the fear and dread feel so intense, even when past worries haven’t come true. This is anxiety, not a sign that something bad is actually about to happen.
The fact that you’ve gotten through every single workday so far matters. It shows you can cope, even when it feels uncomfortable.
A few gentle things that may help:
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When worries come up, remind yourself: “This hasn’t happened before. This is anxiety guessing.”
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Focus only on the next task or hour, not the whole day.
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Let the fear be there without fighting it, you can feel scared and still show up. Slowly, the fear will lose its grip on you as you get caught up in doing the work.
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Wanting people to like you is human, but your mental health matters too. Setting small boundaries rarely makes people dislike you as much as we fear.
I gather that you are not actually dreading the job but rather the feeling of fear. And feelings, even strong ones, do pass. With time and practice, work can start to feel enjoyable and lighter so do practise some of the steps shared.
Hey @user948492 ,
Thank you for reaching out on this platform. I can say for sure that you’re not alone in having these feelings. I used to have them back in school, to the point that at one point I didn’t attend school for a period of time. Moreover, it’s also understandable that you feel fear from uncertainty. After all, it could be your body’s way to prepare for this uncertainty, by coming up with scenarios to prepare yourself. However, if this anxiety or fear becomes so overwhelming that it’s affecting you daily, it no longer becomes helpful.
To answer your question on how to manage this, what I found helpful were some things that @CaringBee had mentioned, which are to keep telling myself that the worse case scenarios that my mind came up didn’t happen and this feeling will pass, grounding techniques (ie. 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can spell, 1 thing you can taste), being comfortable with the fear by going through it despite what I’m feeling. Maybe you can try them to see if it helps you?
Lastly, it’s understandable that you’ll want people to like you. After all, we’re able to accomplish great things when working with others. But your mental health matters too. Try setting small boundaries with others.
Be kind to yourself and know that you matter too. We’re here for you 