I don’t know what I’m feeling, and it’s making me feel crazy. I feel numb to things for example, when someone shares bad news, I don’t feel anything. When I hang out with my friends, I feel like I’m putting on a mask because I’m super loud with them, but when I get home, I feel nothing again. This has been happening for a few years, and I don’t have the courage to tell anyone I know.
I’m really glad you said this. And I want to start by saying this gently: feeling this way doesn’t make you crazy.
Not knowing what you’re feeling can be more unsettling than feeling something clearly bad. Numbness is strange like that… sometimes, it’s not loud, or it doesn’t announce itself, it just sits there and makes everything feel flat and unreal. When you say you don’t feel anything when someone shares bad news, that sounds less like you don’t care and more like your system isn’t letting things reach you fully anymore.
The “mask” part really stands out. Being loud, animated, fun with friends and then going home and everything drops to nothing. That contrast can be jarring. Almost like you’re borrowing energy or emotions while you’re with people, and once you’re alone, there’s just… silence. That can feel lonely in a very specific way, even when you’re surrounded by others most of the time.
What feels especially heavy is that this has been going on for years, and you’ve been carrying it quietly. Not telling anyone, not really having language for it, just living with it in the background. That takes a lot more effort than people realize. It makes sense that you’d feel unsettled by it like something is off, but you can’t point to exactly where.
I’m curious about the numbness, not in a diagnostic way, just pure curiosity. Does it feel empty? Or more like distant? Or like you’re watching things happen rather than being inside them? I’m checking as sometimes numbness isn’t the absence of feeling, but a kind of holding pattern and a way of staying functional when feeling everything might be too much.
And the fact that you don’t have the courage to tell anyone you know… that tells me there’s fear there. Fear of being misunderstood, brushed off, worrying you’re being dramatic, or even worrying that once you say it out loud, it becomes real. Keeping it to yourself might feel safer, even if it’s lonely. Of course, please correct me if I’m wrong.
I don’t hear someone broken or detached from the world. I hear someone who learned how to perform okay while something quieter has been going on underneath for a long time. That’s not a failure , that’s a survival skill, even if it doesn’t feel good anymore.
You don’t have to have a clear label for what this is. You don’t have to explain it neatly. Even just being able to say “something feels off, and I don’t know what” is already honest and real.
If you want, we can sit with the numbness a bit more, not to analyze it too deeply, not to force it away but just to understand what it feels like to you. You don’t have to rush to make sense of it, and you don’t have to face it alone here.
Hey @user118354,
Hey, thanks for sharing this. It sounds like you’ve been feeling numb for a really long time - as you switch into a louder version of yourself around people, but once you’re alone, everything goes quiet and empty again. That can be really unsettling, especially when it’s been happening for years.
Wearing a mask just to get through social moments can be exhausting, and it makes sense that you’d be wondering what’s going on inside. I’m really glad you said something instead of keeping it all bottled up.
You don’t have to have this all figured out right now. If you ever feel like talking to someone to help you make sense of things, it can be a helpful step. However, this choice is totally up to you, and only when you feel ready.
If it helps, here are a couple of resources I know of:
National Mindline - a 24/7 helpline that connects you to a professional counsellor. Call 1771 or message +65 6669 1771 on WhatsApp.
Mindline First Stop for Mental Health - an all-in-one resource page that connects you to professional services in-person. Services provided by Community Mental Health Teams are free-of-charge. mindline.sg | First Stop for Mental Health Support in Singapore
Either way, you’re not strange or broken for feeling this way, and you don’t have to go through it alone.
Hey @user118354
I want to slow this down a little. When you say you “don’t feel anything,” does it feel more like emptiness, or more like distance? Or maybe like your emotions are there somewhere but out of reach?
The fact that this has been happening for years, and you’ve kept it to yourself shows that you might have been trying to stay functional and not worry others. It’s a way of coping. It just gets tiring after a while.
For this moment, it’s enough to name that something feels off and that you’re allowed to talk about it here, at your own pace.
That is just indifferent, no worries. If you feel numb towards others because you have bigger problems to handle, that is also normal.