I really dont know why im like this. Im only 15 this just feels stupid. I have a good family(better than others) but maybe my mom might be a tad bit overprotective. I have went through various friendship issues in the past but as of now o I believe i dont have any issues. My mom thinks it’s just part of a normal teenage life though. When i open up to her she just tells me I’m making problems for myself and i should just “get better” but the thing is i just can’t. I have O levels this year. But i feel so dead inside like nothing even matters i cant study i cant even do anything i like i really like cosplaying, and i have a convention this Saturday. But i didn’t touch my wig for 2 weeks. I can’t even bring myself to style the wig or try on the cosplay. I would say i have a somewhat good life. But i just feel like a greasy incel sometimes. I’ve never thought of cutting but i dont know why me trying to break up with my suicidal boyfriend was the breaking point. This isn’t exactly cutting but i just use a metal wire to scratch things into my skin. I know i sound edgy and weird I’m sorry but is this normal is it really just part of the normal teenage life to be so dead inside
20 year old here who’s been there. it’s been many years for parents - they don’t remember what it’s like to struggle as a teenager. it sucks but explaining how you feel earnestly can help, to help them understand that you’re older now and can be trusted.
as for not feeling anything - it may be a severe case of burnout. with o levels looming; feeling like it’s an exam to decide your life - i’ve been there. instead of not feeling anything - i had to reflect and ask myself - maybe is there something i’m suppressing? deep inside layers and layers of feeling “dead”? what greeted me after the introspection was fear of failure, uncertainty of the future, and feeling trapped because i wanted freedom from studying. everytime you feel the urge to hurt yourself - redirect that feeling. take a mental health walk if you need. or scratch cardboard to make art. when you reflect as you destress; it’ll help pinpoint why you feel this way. and yeah - unforch it is part of teenage life - you’re okay 
you’ve got this :>
Hey user422303,
When you call yourself stupid, it sounds like you’ve already decided your feelings aren’t valid. Before going further, I need to check. You mentioned using a metal wire to scratch your skin. Are you safe right now? Has it stayed at surface scratches, or is it getting more frequent or deeper? I’m asking because once self-harm starts, it can slowly increase without you meaning for it to. Your safety comes first.
About feeling “dead inside.” It normal for teenagers to have mood swings. But feeling numb for a while, losing interest in things you usually enjoy, not being able to study, and hurting your skin that combination is not just typical teenage stress. These are patterns means you need support as soon as you can, something internally isn’t coping well right now.
You’ve got O levels this year and that’s pressure. You’ve also been dealing with a boyfriend who is suicidal. Trying to break up in that situation can carry a lot of guilt or fear, even if you don’t talk about it much. That kind of stress builds up.
And when you open up at home and get told it’s normal or that you should “get better,” it can make you start doubting yourself. Not because your mum is trying to harm you, but because the response doesn’t match how bad it feels inside. Over time, that can turn into self-criticism.
The way you describe yourself sounds more like frustration turned inward than truth.
Here’s what matters now, your responsibility is to keep yourself safe and to be honest about how much you’re struggling. And your family’s responsibility is to learn how to respond better, even if they’re not there yet. And the community’s role is to support you and point you toward proper help if needed.
If the urges to scratch increase, or if you feel like you might hurt yourself more seriously, please reach out:
- SOS: 1767
- National Mindline: 1771 or WhatsApp +65 6669 1771
- mindline.sg/get-help
You don’t have to wait until things get worse.
One question: When you think about the cosplay wig, is it that you don’t care anymore, or that you still care but feel too tired to start? That answer helps understand what kind of support you need next.
Right now, the main thing is this and I want you to know that what you’re describing isn’t stupidity. It’s a sign you’re not coping well on your own. And that’s something to be taken seriously. Ok?
I guess I’m technically safe i write things with the wire but i havent thought of anything else to write so i just go over it again sometimes. And to answer the question about the cosplay wig, my convention is this Saturday and I’m actually going to go with someone new, which would push me to do my ‘best’ for a good impression. I would consider my feelings towards the wig to be I want to do it but i just can’t bring myself to every time i think about styling it i just say ‘tomorrow’ i know im running out of time but i just can’t do it. Another thing about my mother is when I ever open up she sometimes redirects the conversation into talking about her issues, which i don’t mind(i guess) but i end up being the one who comforts than the one comforted. Anyways thank you for replying.
Hi user422303
It sounds like you’re in a difficult season in your life which we’re unsure why or how we even landed here. It just seems weird, that with a good life, good family and prior experiences with friendship issues, we still can’t figure out what’s causing us to feel this way and its almost like we don’t deserve to feel lousy. The fact that you’re trying to break up with your suicidal boyfriend, have ‘O’ levels coming up as well as the convention happening today gives even more pressure to quickly ‘detect’ and ‘solve’ this challenge to start feeling better; this pressure can be really uncomfortable and sap our energy to make us feel ‘dead inside’. What’s worse is that it can cause us to lose motivation to complete necessary tasks and cause us to feel even lousier about ourselves, creating a cycle of pressure → low motivation + mood → more pressure.
I also see that you have attempted to figure things out and sought comfort from your mother and it didnt turn out the way we wanted which is unfortunate 
Perhaps using a metal wire is just a way to cope with the immense pressure put onto you, and if that’s the case could we find another healthier way to cope for the time being?
I noticed that you mention feeling like a greasy incel and sounding edgy and weird. It’s normal to feel this way especially when sharing about our low moments such as this and I wanna thank you for trusting other users like me to provide a safe space for you to be vulnerable in sharing this challenging phase of life. Please know that everyone goes through difficult moments such as this and is deserving of support, so give yourself some grace while on the journey of figuring out what’s excatly causing us to feel this way. We will be here to sort things out together.
Also, let me know how the convention went for you 