one time a boy called me “mei mei” but I’m not even chinese or any Chinese descent
everyone keeps telling me “my friend likes you”. I just try to ignore it but it becomes such a frequent question that im fed up with it.
when asked further about topics about love and dating since im sec 4, I just say there is currently no time for love, only studying (because I got the O-Levels coming soon, although the problem I also have is I just cannot start studying certain subjects like humanities and languages)
But overall, this teasing thing is so disgusting to me, just typing this out is already making me vomit
I just want to know if theres any quiet kids out there who have this problem, this “quiet kid behaviour”, and how to deal with it.
Hello @mafuna345! Thank you for sharing your problems here.
Firstly, your frustration and even disgust are very understandable. It may be really upsetting to be taunted or misinterpreted, particularly when you’re simply trying to concentrate and exist. It isn’t too dramatic or stupid. Your emotions are real.
That remark about “mei mei”? That youngster may have thought it was a joke, but it’s unpleasant when you feel like someone is categorising you or placing you in a box that you don’t belong in. The incessant “my friend likes you” nonsense also gets old very quickly, particularly if you’ve already made it plain that you’re not interested in it at the moment.
There are silent kids out there that face similar challenges. You’re not alone yourself. There is nothing wrong with you if you are more reserved or introverted. Even while it doesn’t always feel like it, sometimes it just means that you’re more perceptive, attentive, and sensitive to things that others ignore.
Setting limits is acceptable when someone is making fun of or bothering you. You don’t have to provide an explanation. It’s sufficient to say, “I don’t want to talk about that,” or even to just turn away. Peace is something you deserve.
More than you know, you’re doing well. It’s OK to feel this way and to want silence.
Hi @mafuna345!
I’m sorry to hear that this is happening to you. I think this issue mainly occurs in primary/secondary school where your peers tend to joke a lot and not know the extent of their jokes, my advice would be to either tell them to stop, or try to avoid these people completely. Also, you’re not alone and I don’t think this issue applies to just quiet kids and can apply to every other kid as well. Your other problem is that you can’t start studying certain subjects like humanities/languages, my advice for this would be to try seeking help from your teachers to know where you’re lacking and you can work on those areas first and start small so that it makes it easier to start studying these subjects. Or if approaching your teachers is too daunting, you can also ask your friends to help you or to study in groups so that y’all can motivate one another!
I’m really sorry to hear about the teasing and discomfort you’re experiencing. Your emotions are valid, as pointed out by @potatooo .
Prioritizing on your education is a wise decision, and it is okay to seek help from teachers and peers if you are struggling with language and humanities.
Regarding the teasing, it’s important to set boundaries and let people know that their comments are making you uncomfortable. Like what @strawberri has mentioned, sometimes people don’t realize the impact of their words until they’re told directly.
You are not alone in this, and it is important to prioritize your well-being and mental health. All the best to your O levels!
You’re not alone, and I empathise. It sounds like people around you have not been respectful or don’t realise how the words they say have an impact on you
Being a quiet kid isn’t something you should have to struggle with. You should be able to have your quiet moments without being teased. I’m sorry that the situation has made it feel like a challenge to be someone who is introverted and quiet. As someone who is quiet myself, I empathise with just wanting to be able to be myself without others disturbing me or making comments that feel uncomfortable.
Apart from ignoring, what are some things you have tried in response to these teasing?
I’m sorry the teasing is making you feel uncomfortable >< it’s sometimes really quite hard to deal with, especially when you don’t want to be confrontational. No matter what the gesture is, even if it’s coming from a good intentioned place, you are completely entitled to feel what you feel okie!! If I’m in your shoes, I also think I wouldn’t dare to do anything abt it…. One thing i can think of is to ask a trusted friend who may be around when such things happen, to help manage the situation when it happens again. For example, I may tell my friend that I’m not comfortable being called a particular name and then when it happens again, my friend can lightheartedly but also firmly express out loud that the name is not very appropriate ah (maybe for your situation, the reason could be that you don’t speak the language yk). I feel like I would be able to do that for my friend if my friend is in a similar situation, rather than me speaking up for myself hurrrr there’s always some workaround
I love how you know your priorities now, love will come around when you’re ready for it, I support your stance!! Rmb to give yourself space to rest and rejuvenate amongst fulfilling your responsibilities okie
sorry to hear about this, it must be really frustrating being teased all the time
if ignoring them doesn’t seem to be working, you could try letting them know that the question is bothering you and you want them to stop. sometimes, people may take teasing/jokes too far and its completely okay to let them know its gone too far! being straightforward about how you feel may help shut things down faster than ignoring it. but as someone who is extremely non-confrontational, this can definitely be challenging i would ask a close friend to help me in such situations, by letting the person know its not okay to keep teasing you like that.
with regards to studying certain subjects, i totally get it - languages and humanities can be realllyyy dry at times and i too struggled with studying for them… studying with my friends and consulting teachers with my questions helped me get through it! doing the same practice questions with friends made studying less boring, and we could also help each other memorise the content. we also approached our teachers together to ask for study tips and clarified doubts! all the best for your upcoming o levels, remember to pace yourself and take breaks
i would ask a close friend to help me in such situations, by letting the person know its not okay to keep teasing you like that.