i get easily depressed by minor setbacks, i run away at the slightest sign of failure, i dont know what to do anymore. i finally decided to start looking for jobs but i have no qualifications or experience and theres no place that would hire someone like me. just the thought of that made me feel sick and depressed again. and when i envision the rest of my life of seeing all my peers in their successful careers while im a struggling nobody who will be judged by everyone around me i feel so depressed that the thought of living and experiencing more pain becomes unbearable. my friends keep telling me to go to therapy but i dont want to. once i lay bare all my pathetic struggles they will tell me that i need to accept that suffering is an inevitable part of life and that i need to stop running away. but ever since my depressive episode where i almost carried out a plan to kill myself, the thought of any more pain is so unbearable its crushing. i feel so terrified of doing anything hard, of experiencing any more pain, that i just do nothing all day. i dont want a mental health professional to tell me that no one is coming to save me. so what if its true? when i think over and over about how no one is coming to save me, i just start crying. i dont want a mental health professional to tell me to stop self harming or to make me work on removing suicidal ideation. theyre my back doors when i have no where to run. but i know that deep down i wont end up killing myself, and i feel even worse, because i can only see my future collapsing from now on.
Hi @wiseclover3083, what you’re carrying sounds absolutely crushing, and I’m really glad you’re still here.
I hear that therapy feels threatening because you’re afraid of being told uncomfortable truths and having your coping mechanisms taken away. That fear makes sense. But I’d gently push back on one thing — a good therapist’s job isn’t to strip away everything that keeps you afloat and leave you with nothing. It’s to help you find something more solid to stand on, at your pace.
You don’t have to figure out jobs or the future or any of that right now. But please do reach out to someone who can be with you in this.
If you need a listening ear, you can always reach out for support by calling Mindline at 1771 or WhatsApp 6669-1771 anytime.
Hi, it is definitely tiring to be searching for jobs. I am worried about you when you mentioned about self-harming. You deserve support especially when you are in such a deep pain. There are some support that you may consider to reach out to as they are there for you 24/7. You are not alone in this. The number is 1767 or 1771.
Not having qualifications or experience doesn’t mean no one will hire you. It means you’re at the same starting point many people begin from. Everyone has different timing. There are always hope at the end of the tunnel even though it might seem tough now.