I feel uncomfortable at work

Ask a Therapist Is This Normal?
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For context, i worked 2 jobs after o levels, and i purposely work slowly cus low cortisol eahhahahaha

First was in a cafe where management sucked, bo real training was provided and i was struggling to keep up. Instructions were bad, manager’s mood is very unpredictable (one moment shes nice the next is angry) she did this thing where she would call me at 5am and ask if i can take over someones shift (cus i live 10mins away) PLUS theres once i had to work 10hrs with one hour break and that was NOT FUN for minimum wage (11.5/hr while mcdonalds is 11.3)

The other one is a restaurant. FIRST DAY, one coworker who was older than me,A, was showing obvious interest in me. made me uncomfortable for some hrs UNTIL he learnt i was vv underaged. Manager (female) rlly liked me so she ibvited me to work more so i did. I felt vv safe arnd her

The other one, B, was REALLY NICE UNTIL

the second day. (manger NOT HERE) where he started asking personal questions which i replied truthfully but VERY VAGUELY like “yea i live around here” and he asked “do u hav a bf? “ which first of all, WHY ARE YOU TRYNA KNOW MY PEROSNAL LIFE? When i replied “no im not interested in having an rs, i only care abt my studies” he said “well many ppl ur age have bfs” STFU NAH. Then i started replying vv neutrally to him. “ok””sure””my bad” yeah and he started getting angry at me for being slow, not knowing how to work when its my 2nd day there.yeag ofc i wouldnt be an expert at setting up the dishes, ■■■■ U IM DOING THIS AS A GIG BTW BRUH my listing said “serving dishes” NOT PREPPING THE DISHES? that day i purposely worked slower cus ITS A WEEKDAY, so basically theres not a lot of ppl. HE KEPT COMMENTING ON HOW SLOW I AM BRO KSBDJDHHS YEA cus theres nothing i CAN do as a server right?

Additionally, ok, to sum up, he twists his words to look correct when hes obviously an insecure loser. He keeps thinkibg im incompetent when im just ■■■■■■■ confused

I have another shift with them on Saturday, idk if i shld complain to manager or just leave and i dont like working anymore its so annoying.. IS THIS NORMAL?

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Hey @Mmmmeeow

Reading through what you wrote, it sounds like you went into these jobs expecting something straightforward after O levels, serve dishes, earn some money, go home. But what you met were a lot of unclear instructions and shifting expectations from the people around you.

At the café, there was little training, instructions were inconsistent, and the manager’s mood seemed unpredictable. When that happens, new staff often end up feeling like they are always doing something wrong even though no one explained things clearly in the first place.

The restaurant situation added something else. An older coworker asking personal questions and showing interest before knowing you were underage would understandably make someone uncomfortable. When you responded briefly and kept your distance, his attitude seemed to change and he started criticising your pace and competence. That kind of shift can make the environment tense, especially when you are new and still learning.

From your description, it sounds like you felt uncomfortable with the way you were treated but chose to push through the shift quietly. Instead of confronting it directly, you replied neutrally and just tried to get through the work. Many people do this when they feel they have less power in a workplace, especially when they are younger or new.

Another thing that stands out is that there were many unspoken expectations. The job listing said serving dishes, but you were also expected to prepare them. When expectations are not stated clearly, misunderstandings happen easily. People may assume you should already know what to do, even when no one trained you.

The situation you described does not sound like a question about whether work is “normal”. It is more about how to deal with unclear expectations and behaviour that makes you uncomfortable. Personal questions about your relationships and repeated criticism without guidance are not things you simply have to accept.

You mentioned that the female manager made you feel safe. If there is someone in the workplace who has been fair with you, it may help to speak with her and explain what happened during that shift. Raising it calmly can help clarify boundaries and expectations. It also lets management know if someone’s behaviour is making the workplace uncomfortable.

At the same time, it is reasonable to think about your own safety and wellbeing. If a job consistently leaves you feeling tense or uneasy, it is okay to reconsider whether it is worth continuing. A part-time job after school should not require you to tolerate behaviour that crosses your boundaries.

Before Saturday’s shift, you might just check in with yourself about this: when you think about going back, does it feel manageable if the manager is around, or do you already feel uncomfortable about being there?

That feeling can sometimes help you decide your next step.

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