I hate school. (and people but school)

Hangouts Student Life
1

Welp. Update on my life: its getting worse.

I have this classmate who i share English name and surname with. For 4 whole years of sec sch, we are in the same damn class. I wanted to be her friend at first. But igs she was too introverted :smiling_face_with_tear:. Things were decent. She exist but not enough for me to care. Until sec 3. I was just constantly in her shadow, being compared by her. It was bearable at first. Until this yr when i lost almost everything. I made it a thing not to hate her even if i envy her cause shes innocentā€¦ Until recently. The envy has gotten to me and im just starting to go insane. I actually am starting to dislike her.
Why does she get the better end in life? Ya i dont know what ppl might be going through underneath the facade, but all i know is that SHE HAS A GUY THAT LOVES HER AND IS WILLING TO WAIT FOR HER. SHE HAS FRIENFS. MY FRIENDS. SHE HAS AMAZING RESULTS. PEOPLE CHOOSE HER. shes even Givin a speech on the behalf of my class on grad night. Wow. Ya i know i maybe better than her in other areas and wrll ppl might notice that right? Wrong. Science is her weakness. And it is my strength. Anytime i beat her to it, no one goes ā€œomg can you help me i need helpā€ or like ā€œi wanna be in ur grpā€ yk that validation. THEY GO TO HER AND BE LIKE ā€œits ok you can do better next timeā€. EVEN IF THE ROLES ARE SWITCHED, SHES STILL GNA GET NOTICED. im TIRED. yes i CRAVE validation from useless human beings. Thats what makes me,me. My only 2 goals in prelims are:

  1. Hit the goals i set for my grades
  2. Do better than her
    Obvi 2 is my priority. I dont CARE if i dont get a2 for math (actually i do but not that much) i only care if i get better than her. Spoiler alert, i did!
    Anyways. Grad night is coming soon. And im PISSED. I look like a pregnant woman if i wear a dress that isnā€™t flowy from chest down :face_with_bags_under_eyes: and shes freaking slim. Like how tf she does that. She eats more than i do :confused: im so done with her getting the better end of things. I WANT to beat her in os. I WANT to look better than her in grad night.