Hello! I’m a student and I don’t feel good enough, no matter what I do. Even though my results are (im not bragging plz dont take it that way) all As except for one subject I still feel really dumb and stupid, especially in my CCA. I’m in a sport CCA and I’m not that good at it, and for that reason other people make fun of me and look down upon me. I don’t feel good enough, I constantly feel insecure and jealous and I can’t stand it when someone else does better than me. I know it’s bad but I want to be better than everyone else. I feel like it’s crushing and stressing me out, being constantly afraid of other people taking my spot, succeeding more in life than me. If I am not smart, then what am I? I constantly compare myself to others, and I can always see the things that other people are better than me in, like running, academics, having better character, being better at art, being better at languages. And I just cannot see that about myself. It also doesn’t help that my own classmates have high academic expectations of me, I feel scared that I’ll let them down and they’ll think that I’m dumb and stupid and that I cannot be relied on. Secretly, it hurts me so much when someones asking for help and other people say that “Student A is smart, go ask her” and not me because it’s a sign that people don’t see me as the first option to go to for help, especially when I’m not busy because it kind of tells me that they see Student A as smarter and better than me. Recently, I’ve been struggling in class a little bit, I struggle to understand the material taught due to my mental health, I’ve been going thru very bad burnout. I have no energy and motivation to do anything and I’m a little behind on work. In Primary school and Sec 1 I used to be like smartest of the class kind of smart, or at the very least smarter than average. And I felt happy because I was admired, praised and well- liked. But now, I can sense that things have changed within the class, unexpected people are getting higher results for me and I hate it, I hate it so much. I have put my life, soul and energy into studying, all for the “dumber” students to get better results than me. All that for them to get praised more, liked more than me. A1 isn’t good unless it’s the best result in class in my opinion. My greatest fear in life is being seen as dumb or stupid by others. I hate not being the best, I hate losing but most of all I hate myself. Recently, there was an exchange student in class, and she’s smarter than me, prettier than me, had more attention than me, she has everything that I want. She could solve the problems that I struggled with, I guess it does make a little bit of sense since she’s a year older than me but still, I felt so jealous. My math teacher who ignores me praised the exchange student and was basically telling us that she was better than all of us. I wanted to be her, I want to know what it’s like having so much attention and validation again. And most of all I want recognition from my classmates and teachers. But recently they seem to be ignoring me a little bit, not giving me that many compliments and I just feel like a failure. I feel ugly, fat , unloved and unwanted. It feels so crushing when others do not recognise me, I feel like all of my efforts are wasted, gone. All for nothing, I’ve been struggling with SH, I tried some other methods like playing an intrument, eating comfort food and talking to trusted people about it, but it doesn’t feel the same. I hate myself, and I don’t know what to do about it. I don’t know why I am still here, and I don’t know what my purpose in life is. I’m useless and good for nothing.
yeah man I feel the same way, if i may share abit about myself im one of the top in my cohort rn but theres always someone better than me. they even get selected for international competitions because of their skills which makes me feel like im not good enough for the school’s recognition. Hearing you describe your situation resonated with me a lot too, i feel the pressure to always upskill myself all the time so I can be someone people can look for for help, and without that I feel like nothing.
idk if you need to hear this OP but you matter more than your intelligence and skills, even if you don’t feel that. Your efforts aren’t wasted when they go unrecognised, but rather you proved to yourself that you can do it. And if your peers get better results than you, it doesn’t mean you aren’t liked as much anymore.
Think of it like this: New movies are always being put out, but it doesn’t mean the older movies are bad. You’re still here, you are loved by your friends and family, and that’s what matters.
if you’re a bit more cynical, you could also think of it this way: while there’s always gonna be someone better than you, there’s also always someone worse than you. It helps my ego a bit to focus on these people instead, it’s like trying to stay ahead of a snail instead of chasing a speeding car (the people better than you I mean)
hope my weird analogies helped LOL, but yeah pls do take care man, let’s keep winning together 
Hi @user678312! After reading your post, I immediately thought of the quote “comparison is the thief of joy”. As cliche as it may be, I think it truly applies in your case. I really believe that in this extremely competitive education system, it has become normal to compare yourself to others, to want to be the best in everything, because falling behind just once can be costly. I assume you’re in secondary school and I hope that you are able to discover other interests/hobbies that you can enjoy and immerse yourself in without having to worry about being good at it from the get go. I relate to you in the sense that I too strived for perfectionism, but now I realise that it often leads to burnout (something that you mentioned experiencing too). As someone who is good at academics, I hope you can take it in your stride as something that you enjoy instead of something to strive for perfection in and worsen your mental health. I hope you enjoy learning as a whole, rather than only seeking satisfaction when you perform outstandingly. It is truly so so important to recognise that you are more than just the number and letter grades on your report card. At this age, figure out who you are, who your true friends are and please enjoy yourself. You mentioned talking to trusted people and engaging in other hobbies to cope. If things get too tough, please do visit the school counsellor (if you are comfortable), or you can always drop another post here! Remember that you are not alone and you are capable of so much. Take care of yourself 
aww:) thank u so much!! ur advice helps a lot and made me feel better! I’ll try my best to follow ur it:)