Why am I not good enough?

I keep having the feeling that my school friends are a lot better than me in every possible way.

The school I’m in is a good school. For sure. However, I was never given the chance or opportunity to contribute and help out. I was at one time rejected from a leader role while my friends got in. This made me harbour a high level of envy and I began to feel that I am never going to be good enough even if I try.

In life, I am always slower than the others because I need time to process things. But it seems like everyone in my life like my family and authorised people wanted me to do things fast and I have tried going faster before but in the end, things don’t turn out as well as when I’m slower in terms of quality.

My maturity is also slowed down because I was born with Autism and it affected the way I behaved back then because I wasn’t able to mature normally in time. Time is basically my mortal enemy and there’s no way anyone can control it.

I feel that there isn’t hope trying to be perfect. I want to be normal just like everyone. Everyone to me have a lot of achievements and get better benefits while for me, I feel useless to them. Why am I so different, why can’t I be like everyone else, why am I not accepted for being different among everyone?

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Hi @User643,

Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us. It sounds like you’re carrying a lot of heavy feelings, especially around comparing yourself to others and feeling different because of your autism. It’s completely understandable to feel frustrated when it seems like others are achieving things more easily than you.

Autism can make it feel like the world is moving at a pace that’s hard to keep up with, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t capable or valuable. Everyone’s journey is different, and it’s okay to take the time you need to process things at your own pace. It’s not about being perfect or being like everyone else—it’s about finding your own rhythm and recognizing your unique strengths.

It’s really tough to feel left out or overlooked, especially when you’re trying your best. But please know that being different doesn’t make you less than anyone else. It just means you have your own path to walk, and that path is important.

I’d encourage you to reflect on the things you do well, the qualities that make you special, and how far you’ve come. It might also help to talk to someone you trust about these feelings, whether it’s a teacher, family member, or counselor. Sometimes just having someone listen can make a big difference.

You’re not alone in feeling this way, and it’s okay to ask for support when you need it. Continue moving forward at your own pace and keep in mind that how quickly you move or how much you accomplish in comparison to others does not determine your value. It’s about being true to yourself and recognizing your worth just as you are.

Do you recall anything that you felt that you did well recently?

I have failed an entrance exam. Now I am trying second time with the same teacher. Well I am the example of a failure to her and always give an example to others people saying “if you wanna be like her, then you are gonna fail too.” My exam is in a week and I have huge depression now,

I am going through the same exact same situation as you are, except in adult form. Ive had the same issues my whole life since young and the only way to make it better is through yourself. It’s easier said than done but on days when i kept telling myself that I can do it and not to give up, everything I do feels smoother. Of course there are days when it gets overwhelming and suffocating, but we just have to think positive and do our best. Life goes on and you can’t change the world but you can change yourself. If people don’t want to talk to you or not wanting you to join them, then just do solo stuff that makes you happy like reading, playing games, taking walks, etc. Pay no mind to them and just do what you enjoy.

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Hey @user1316,

Yes, it is hurtful to hear your teacher say that about you in front of everyone and especially with the added pressure…

It’s important to remember that failing an exam doesn’t define your worth or potential. You’re showing great resilience by preparing to try again. Please take care of yourself this week and reach out for support if you need it—you deserve encouragement and understanding during this time.

Hi ! When I was young, I also often struggled with the feelings of not feeling good enough. For instance, my teacher would choose others instead of me as a leader. I also felt that I was not good enough when my O level result came out and it is not as good as my peer. (I also tried hard in my O level)

However, as I grew up, I realized that everyone has their own struggles and needs that are unfulfilled. For instance, my peers struggled with loneliness (I found out when we were having deep conversation). Another friend of mine who seem to be cheerful and popular, was having a lot of family problems. For eg, one parent has heart attack while the other parent has diabetes.

That is when I realised that all my peers who seem to be successful and has a lot of achievements have a lot of hidden issues. They will only tell you when they could trust you in a certain level. Thus, everyone in your school perhaps have some insecurities and problems that you might not know. Thus, you are not alone in feeling in this way.

I also came to realised that my unsuccessful situations such as feeling not good enough, can also make me become more empathy. Thus, maybe sometimes, bad situation also help us grow into better person.

That is to say that it is okay to feel what you are feeling.

As it is, we can’t hope to be like everyone else so all we can do is realise it and trudge wearily on through life.

Hi @user643,

I would like to take this moment to acknowledge your courage in sharing these thoughts with me. It’s completely understandable to feel envious and frustrated when it seems like others are excelling while you’re struggling.

It’s important to remember that everyone has their own unique strengths and challenges, and it’s okay to move at your own pace. I am wondering, what have you done in the past to manage similar situations, and were these strategies helpful for you?

Your experience with autism may present additional challenges, but it also shapes the unique and valuable person you are. You are not alone in feeling this way, and it’s okay to seek support from others who understand and appreciate you for who you are.

It’s important to remember that you are valuable just as you are, and you deserve acceptance and support. If you ever need to talk, I’m here for you.