2 months ago I did something I regretted instantly. The consequences of it are unlikely to occur but still possible. It’s just I just created a catastrophic possibility for myself. I have zero people to turn to for this as I don’t really have friends. I’ve spoke with the counsellors on the mindline WhatsApp. It’s helped, but I’m still feeling extremely empty, i yearn for a friend, I’m don’t have good social skills and I don’t really know what I want now
Hi @user7467,
That sounds incredibly heavy to carry alone. Regret can feel like a shadow that stretches far beyond the moment itself - especially when the consequences, however unlikely, still loom in the background. It’s brave of you to reach out to the Mindline counsellors, and even braver to speak about it here. That emptiness you’re feeling is not a flaw in you. It’s a deeply human need, and it makes sense that you’d feel lost without a safe place to turn. You deserve companionship that doesn’t hinge on perfection or performance, and I’m here to listen without judgment.
If you feel comfortable sharing more, I’d like to understand what was the situation that led to this regret. And when you say you don’t know what you want now, is it that the future feels foggy, or that even the present feels hard to grasp? You don’t have to figure everything out tonight. But if you want to talk through it, I’ll be here.
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Hey @user7467, I’m really sorry you’re feeling this way. What you’re describing, regret, fear of consequences, emptiness, and loneliness are something many people go through. It doesn’t mean you’re weak or broken but shows you care about your actions and you’ve been under a lot of stress.
A few small steps that can help:
Ground yourself when your mind spins (slow breathing, name 5 things you see).
Write the facts of what happened and how likely the worst case really is. Seeing it on paper shrinks the fear.
Reach out slowly to people. Even small interactions online or with classmates count.
You’re not alone 
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Hi @user7467 thank you for sharing that with us.
It sounds like it’s been a challenging time, that this has been weighing on you so much for two months now. Even though it’s something that’s not likely to happen, it is still really heavy for you because the possibility of it happen sounds like it’s going to be a catastrophe. There’s a bit of tension here – that it’s unlikely to happen, yet it’s catastrophic. I’m wondering what you think about noticing this?
But I hear you that you’ve been feeling empty and you don’t really know what you want now. Would it be to do with friends or having someone to turn to? As I see you mentioning about that. Or does something also doesn’t sit well, that it isn’t just that as well? And it’s okay to not know, we’re figuring it out together 
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Thanks for the reply :)The worst case scenario is very catastrophic. I can not be reminded of it
I want to feel like the things I’ve done never happened or at least the consequences of it would never happen, but it’s impossible. I tremble at the uncertainty
As for people to turn to, I do feel better when my friends talk to me, but my last friend left me because she isn’t allowed to talk to me (we are overseas, her parents don’t allow her to talk). I don’t know if she’s the one who made me feel better by being a distraction even if she doesn’t know what I’m going through. I’ve tried talking to strangers or even my teacher as an attempt to find solace but no luck.
Hi @user7467, it’s true that we cannot undo the past, and the uncertainty is really scary. I hear that @CharmingAnt suggested about writing down the facts and what the worst case scenario is, but the worst case scenario is extremely catastrophic and you don’t want to be reminded about it. That’s totally okay, and it is really normal to have that feeling. A part of why writing out the facts (like how likely/unlikely it is to happen, and what is the worst case scenario) and making it explicit is helpful is that it becomes less uncertain. Putting it on paper doesn’t change the scenario and possibilities since it already happened, but it may help process what has happened and make it feel less uncertain. If it is really scary, it doesn’t have to be done alone – I think like you mentioned, there are counsellors available to help with that in a safe space, when you’re ready. I promise that right now, this regret is so immense – it doesn’t always have to feel this way, and there are ways to cope but it might take time.
I hear you’re overseas? Was this for your studies? It does suck that your friend isn’t allowed to talk to you. Having someone to confide in or just have someone you know is there for you is usually a good feeling and it makes sense that she made you feel better.
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Thanks for taking the time to write this you are right to say that it makes it less uncertain, but I’ve already gone through all scenarios so they are already seared into my seared into my cerebellum. The uncertainties that I’m worried about are the scenarios that would eventually lead to this event that I have not imagined yet that may come true without me expecting it/ never coming up with that possibility.
for my friend, she is not from Singapore and says her parents no longer allow her to be friends with anyone she doesn’t know in real life. We’ve been friends for almost a year and it’s like I kind of lost a pillar of support, though I’m not sure if she’s the one who fully distracted me from this worry of mine
Ps sorry for deleting the other reply I’m not very accustomed to this website
Hi @user7467 ! I hear you, It’s quite loud and looming, just etched into your brain almost? Although it may feel like it won’t do anything, the worst that can happen is that nothing changes. But the best case is that it might be helpful! And I think that’s a little trick that our brain sometimes plays on us, where the worst case is so loud and scary, that it overshadows a lot of the neutral and good scenarios and thoughts as well. If you do give it a try, let us know how it goes? But even if you don’t, we’re still here for you regardless
I see what you mean now, so that contact has been lost recently, and it sucks to lose a pillar of support. How do you think we can support? And if there are questions you’re still wondering about?
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I honestly just want a friend that can distract me from this worry, seems like no one is in the market right now for a new one
friends start with common interests~ are there any interests you have now that you can enjoy doing? For me, it would be singing, so I might try apps that allow me sing with other ppl online haha maybe you can try to find a space either online or offline to focus on an interest area you may have~ I think it’s really hard to find a new friend if there’s no common interest~ 
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Well for the last interest I had (a pretty nefarious tbh , it was true crime, met a lot of sick people) , it led me to make this friend which then led to an event to occur that incurred my panic. So yeah I’m basically looking for a brand new one
Right now it’s exam season so I don’t have time for interests, I have to study, I actually find that short conversations with strangers helps
Haha I see!! I enjoy talking to ppl here too!!! Really hear new perspectives and learn new things~ after replying you, I also decided to get moving and am reminded to do sth that would interest me heh mine is not so intense, just going to a park near my place for a short run to feel active and somewhat fit again hahaha
Study defo isn’t my interest unfortunately hahaha but between studies, still good to take breathers!! At least there’s a clear goal for you for the time being, I do miss having clear goals as a student though I didn’t enjoy studying necessarily back then haha 
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Oh well I’m afraid of becoming an adult, it seems daunting
Hi @user7467,
I am okay to hear you out, but would it be possible to share with us more about these “consequences” and “situations” are?
Having a more complete understanding of your struggles would help me to formulate a better response to you. Hope you understand! 