I have no one to turn to

Ask a Therapist Is This Normal?
1

These few days I just have a very irrational fear of an impending doom feeling. My parents will be traveling for a week and I will be alone at home with just me and my dog.

I considered arranging for meet ups during the period my parents are away, but I worry I may just ghost my friends. So I hesitate to make those plans. And if I don’t have my dog to care for, probably I may just be rotting under my blanket in bed.

I know all will be fine eventually and I have managed this before and what kept me going the past few trips has always been my dog. Because I have to walk him, feed him, give him his meds and all.

But I just can’t help feeling like I’m being left behind and I’m all alone.

Plus I can’t share this feeling with my friends because I feel like they don’t understand.

Just recently 1 friend advised be against continuing my medication as ‘it’s not good for health’. Another recently shared that they hesitate texting me because they don’t know what to say to me. Then another after checking in on me, after I shared that I feel like dying and I have no further vocabulary to share why (because idk why too), the conversation stopped. And that’s the last we text since.

These people all knew about my healing journey but how much of my efforts, idk because we don’t discuss much. We can’t really have deep conversations about it because they don’t seem to relate or don’t attempt to understand?

Honestly I just feel like I’m all alone in this world. I have no one. No ‘safe’ friends to share my honest feelings with.

Not even my care team is cheering for me, my parents are enjoying their retirement life, they don’t seem to care about my healing journey (or they are just more avoidant), friends too don’t empathise.

Maybe I just don’t have a place on this earth and I’m just taking up space? All my life, I just feel like I’m just not contributing to anything.

Don’t worry, I’m not at risk of self harm, while I wish I’m dead, I dont really wanna die? I don’t know how to explain this.

2

Dear @Wildflower

Thank you for writing in and reaching out. Your reaching out here is significant. It shows you do not wish to continue with the status quo. There is positive intention there☺️.

I can certainly see, hear and feel how alone and misunderstood you are currently feeling.

However, during this time that you are alone at home with your dog, it may actually help to try a different approach. I encourage you arrange a schedule of daily activities you plan to do instead of whiling away the time and looking back and wondering what happened.

I believe Avoiding feels safe in the short term but feeds the ongoing vicious cycle and the unhelpful belief that you are only safe when not doing anything. Unfortunately, avoiding will not help you break free from the current cycle.

My recommendation therefore is to take small baby steps, that is to take opposite action to what your mind is telling you to do. For example, you could schedule some time to go to the nearby mall and arrange to meet a friend there for a meal or shopping.

I encourage you to have an open mind, and be fully present to enjoy the moment. Even if your friend does not fully empathise with your mental health challenges yet, spending time may increase opportunities to deepen friendship, share interests and widen both your vistas.

It would also benefit to consider speaking to a mental health counsellor regularly. This would be a non judgmental safe space for you to voice your worries, process them and learn new skills to manage emotions in a healthy and safe way.

Keep reaching out here too for support whenever needed. You have already made a lot of progress, so keep going and stay optimistic and open for further growth and improvements.:yellow_heart:

3

she used the yellow heart emoji… it’s too late y’all.

4

What does the yellow heart mean?

5

Dear @Wildflower

Thank you for the question on the yellow heart emoji, dear. I use it to express warmth and care.

https://emojiterra.com/yellow-heart/

Do keep us updated on how you are doing.

6

I’m fine for now as they have not left for their trip. I may plan a solo trip to the mall so at least I get out of the house, beyond the dog walking, but we shall see if I get that energy sometime in the next week…

I’m still hesitant to make any plans with anyone yet just in case I cannot commit to them or they end up rejecting me. ahhh.

But thank you so much for the reassurance and response. It means so much to feel heard and seen at least somewhere even virtually.

1 Like
7

Dear @Wildflower

Thank you dear for letting us know and I’m glad you feel heard and supported by our community here☺️.

Yes, please know it’s perfectly ok to start small, for example planning a solo trip to the mall. Slowly, you can build up taking more actions, at your own pace and comfort level. Plan small positive change consistently to generate energy, build confidence and eventually feel better. :yellow_heart:

8

Thank you.

Like I have shared w my care team before my rational and irrational mind is always in conflict and the irrational mind always wins.

Avoidance feels safer and I don’t have to deal with anything.

As much as I want to feel better, gain confidence from the healing, it is very feels lonely and dangerous on that journey and I have yet to take that first step.

1 Like
10

Annnnd….

it’s the first night of alone me.

Good luck to me :crossed_fingers:t2:

Today has been quite busy so that has been a nice distraction from the monsters in my mind. No hiding under the blanket. But there is no plans line up tomorrow so idk how I’m gonna survive tmr.

But I have finally found courage to ask my friends out for a meal over the weekend. Although they can only spare me 2 hours because they have a life and I don’t, I guess that’s a good first step?

May I survive till my parents are home :crossed_fingers:t2:

12

I’m talking to the void again. But it’s okay…

At the end of the day I know I have no one but myself anw… I wish I can be my own cheerleader but I seem to be my own jeerleader most times.

Even my plans with my friends later don’t seem to be going according to plan. I only had one small request: to include ice cream, but they can’t seem to do that. Now, I’m not sure if I should join them for that meeting later.

13

why not go and have ice cream yourself later after you done meeting them?

If you want, you can join me as an animal assisted activities volunteer. But i am not sure if my dog will be ok with yours. If not sure can try on your own at other centres. Its fun and a good reason to go out.

14

Hi @Wildflower,

I hear the ache in your words - the kind that comes from feeling unseen even in the smallest hopes, like wanting ice cream to be part of the plan. It’s not really about the ice cream, is it? It’s about feeling considered, feeling like your voice matters. And when that doesn’t happen, especially with people you care about, it can feel like confirmation of the deeper fear that maybe you’re alone in this.

But I want to gently challenge that thought. Saying “I have no one but myself” might feel true in the moment, especially when disappointment piles up, but it’s not the whole truth. The Let’s Talk platform is here for you, always. Not as a replacement for human connection, but as a reminder that your voice is heard, your feelings do matter, and you’re not navigating this void alone.

As for the meeting later… maybe it’s not about the ice cream anymore. Maybe it’s about whether you feel emotionally safe and valued in that space. If you do go, go because you choose to, not because you feel obligated. And if you don’t, that’s okay too. You’re allowed to protect your peace.

15

Sorry abt this. But u have ur dog, u aren alone. My prob is the opposite- I wld be So overjoyed if naggy old man would travel! Sadly wun happen, he too old fashion to even do so. I got some frens whose parents trav, im envious!

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