Ever since my break up, I’ve had an overwhelming fear of being alone. When no one’s around forcing me to keep it together, I tend to just start crying and trying to stop myself from contacting them. It comes in waves but Like I can’t function if there’s no one around and it scares me. It’s been five months when does it end?
Hi @user3127
I’m sorry you’re feeling this way…and 5 months can feel like a long time, but healing isn’t really about the clock- it comes in waves and can change from day to day.
what matters most is allowing yourself the time and space to process everything, and to treat yourself with kindness and patience 
This period after a breakup is hard, but it’s also an important time to reflect, learn what you truly need, and gradually find your way toward a better..stronger you.
Be gentle with yourself 
every step forward is progress
Meet new people on meetup app? Im open to be frens if u lonely
Dear @user3127
Thank you for writing in and sharing about the break up. Your pain your is real and valid, and you’re not alone in feeling this deep ache after a breakup. Many among us have had similar experiences.
Yes, five months may feel like a long time; unfortunately our recovery from grief doesn’t follow a schedule. Loss — especially the kind that leaves you feeling suddenly alone — takes time to heal. And healing isn’t linear. Some days will feel okay, and then suddenly it hits you again. That doesn’t mean you’re not making progress. It just means you’re human, and you’re still moving through it.
The fear of being alone it’s fully understandable. When we go from emotional closeness to silence, our minds and hearts scramble to find something solid to hold onto. Crying when no one’s around, feeling unable to function — that’s not weakness. I believe the nervous system is reacting to a deep emotional wound.
But here’s the gentle truth: you can learn how to be okay again, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now.
This space you’re in is also a chance to gently come back to your own self. To learn to care for yourself in small, nourishing ways. It’s okay to take breaks from being productive. It’s okay to cry. But also, try giving yourself time to reconnect with hobbies, things that used to bring even a spark of joy or calm. These aren’t distractions — they’re pathways back to yourself.
You’re not just mourning a relationship. You’re rebuilding your identity outside of it. That takes reflection, self-compassion, and time. Little by little, you’ll learn not just how to be alone, but how to be at peace with your own company. That doesn’t mean giving up on love — it means rediscovering who you are when no one else is defining it.
Please be gentle with yourself. You are not broken. You’re grieving and slowly healing.
And when you feel the urge to reach out or the loneliness floods in, ask yourself:
“What am I really needing right now. Is it comfort? Can I give myself even a little of that?”
Maybe it’s a walk, a journal entry, a warm bath, a song that gets your feelings out. Small steps are still steps.
It will get better — not all at once, but slowly, and surely. You deserve peace and love, especially from yourself.
Keep reaching out here whenever you need to. 