I’m 40 plus and recently I’m quit my job due to a toxic work environment. This job was causing me to have lack of self-confidence and anxiety attacks.
I recently have decided to change my career after working for 13 years in another field.
I’m doing a course on the field that I wanted to get in.
I have been feeling worthless and depressed because it seems that I have not accomplished anything in my life at the age of 40. No kids, not much saving as I have burned the money on useless things that can make me happy. I feel like” is this it for the rest of my life?”
It seems like I’m at a crossroad feeling very lost, depressed and lack of direction and drive.
Thank you for sharing your journey so openly. I understand that you’re going through a time of significant change and reflection, which is never easy, especially when life doesn’t unfold in ways we may have once envisioned. Making the decision to leave a toxic job and pivot into a new field is no small feat. It shows immense courage and resilience. It’s natural to feel uncertain, even discouraged, when life feels like it’s at a crossroads.
At 40, life paths vary greatly, and your unique story holds just as much value and potential as anyone else’s. Career changes, personal achievements, and even moments of pause are all parts of a life rich with growth and self-discovery. What drives you to compare? Reflect on what drew you to your new field—what excites or inspires you about it? This can provide valuable insight into the next steps that feel meaningful for you.
The feelings of worthlessness and loss are understandable, yet remember, they are not definitions of you. You mentioned spending money on things that made you happy, and while this might feel like a regret now, it’s also a reminder of your ability to prioritize joy, an essential trait that can serve you in creating a fulfilling life moving forward.
Celebrate the Small Wins: Take a moment to recognize your courage in making these big changes. Acknowledge even the smallest progress in your course and career transition, as each step forward builds your confidence.
Shift the Lens on “Success”: Success isn’t defined by traditional markers alone. Reflect on what brings you satisfaction, purpose, or joy outside of societal expectations. Consider journaling these thoughts, as writing can clarify your true values and goals.
Self-Compassion Exercises: In moments of self-doubt, practice self-compassion by speaking to yourself as you would to a friend in a similar position. This shift can gradually soften feelings of inadequacy and reinforce a kinder view of your worth.
If you feel these emotions weighing heavily on you, consider talking to a counselor who can support you in processing these feelings and building a more empowered self-view. Remember, you don’t have to navigate these challenges alone. Change is challenging, yet it’s often in these uncertain spaces that we find new depths of resilience and a renewed sense of purpose. You’ve already demonstrated that you have the strength to begin anew—let that be a reminder of your capacity for growth and reinvention.
Making such significant life choices requires true fortitude, and your bravery in leaving a toxic environment and choosing a different route demonstrates your tenacity. After years of working in a different sector, changing jobs is no easy task. Although it might be daunting and confusing, this kind of new beginning offers an opportunity to find your true passions. By enrolling in this course, you’re investing in yourself, which is a significant step towards living a life that is more in line with your interests and beliefs.
Although it’s natural to reflect on the past and feel remorse, it’s important to keep in mind that each phase of your life has shaped the person you are today—a brave individual with life experience and the discernment to realise when change is required. Try to be patient and gentle to yourself since many individuals are just now discovering their actual purpose in life.
Think about things as a step at a time. Divide your long-term objectives into smaller, more achievable ones, and acknowledge each little accomplishment. The most difficult task has already been completed: choosing to live a more satisfying life. You’re building a future that represents who you really are, even if it seems unclear today. Give yourself time to get used to this route; it may be a great, fulfilling one. You’re beginning from experience rather than from scratch, and that’s very beneficial.
@Hoha81 First of all, it takes so much courage to step into a new field! Not many people have the bravery to make a big change like this, and it really shows strength. It’s hard to take a leap into the unknown, especially after facing such a toxic environment, but you’re actively working to build something better for yourself. That’s not small—it’s something to be proud of.
Feeling lost at a crossroad is completely natural, especially after leaving something familiar. You’re processing a lot of big changes, and it’s okay to feel uncertain. It’s not too late to build the life you want, and starting fresh can be a chance to pursue things that genuinely matter to you. Just because you’re at this point now doesn’t mean it’s where you’ll stay. You’re already moving toward something new, and that’s a massive step forward.
And hey, try not to judge yourself too harshly for the past. We all make choices that, in the moment, felt right or made us happy, and that’s a part of life. What matters is that you’re investing in yourself now, and there’s so much potential in that. Take things one day at a time, and be gentle with yourself. You’ve already made some brave choices—keep going.
Thank you for sharing. It is not easy to tell anyone about this. I felt that you have a lot of courage to have a change of work environment. It is not an easy decision especially that there are so many different considerations such as fiances.
It is okay to feel whatever that you are feeling. You are not alone as many of us are lost no matter what age we are in. Don’t give up hopes. There is always light in the tunnel.
Trump and Anwar were elected at an old age. This shows that age doesn’t define success. Sometimes, our experiences help us in term of knowledge, maturity in the future life. Anyway, don’t give up and remember that there are hopes in every end of the tunnel.
I think I understand what you’re facing. Maybe it’s the industry that you’re in. Consulting vs Sales vs a Desk job doing Research vs Art … the dynamics are different. You’ll only get stressed out if you’re in a competitive environment, because people get rewarded by amazing performance. So if you’re just there getting things done, and have a pace, quite sure no one will fault you.
People just value you differently. Choose the dynamics better.
! Thank you for sharing your story!