I really need someone to talk to. I’m desperate. Even my own best friend is starting to judge me.
I trust her a lot. We had a big fight yesterday, I told her I have ADHD. Then today she messaged me and said “hey, you have ADHD right” and i said “yeah i think I do” and she said “wdym you do?? You can’t self diagnose…” and starts to judge me. I never said I had ADHD. Because yesterday, she called be autistic for creating my own word, I didn’t create my own word? It’s just a fake slang I use for fun. She said it’s offensive and I self diagnosed.
I really don’t understand, why is she starting to judge me and call me autistic? I’m not autistic. Has she even seen an autistic person? I don’t understand. I’m starting to feel like I wanna distance myself from her. I’m not trying to judge her too but, she’s fat, and embarrassing. And shes trying to recommend me to some embarrassing stuff too. I hate it. Everytime I see two girls being the two perfect pretty best friends I look at myself and sigh.
I want someone to talk to. Like the one so can trust and feel safe. Someone who doesn’t judge me or hurt me. But I’m still wondering. Whos in the wrong? I hate myself.
I’m really sorry to hear that you’re feeling this way. It sounds like you’re going through a tough time with your friend, and it’s understandable to feel hurt and confused when someone you trust judges you.
It’s important to have people in your life who support you and accept you for who you are, especially when you’re dealing with something like ADHD. It’s frustrating when others don’t understand what you’re going through or make assumptions about you. Your feelings are valid, and it’s okay to want to distance yourself from negativity. If your friend isn’t being supportive, it might be helpful to reflect on what you want from that relationship.
Remember, you deserve to be around people who lift you up and make you feel safe. It’s okay to seek out those connections, even if it feels challenging right now. It may be helpful to consider talking to someone else you trust or even seeking communities where you feel accepted. You’re not alone in feeling this way, and it’s okay to prioritise your well-being.
Firstly, thank you for being brave to open up about your situation. I can tell that you are feeling really hurt and confused currently and it’s understandable given what happened. It seems like you are caught in a tough spot where someone you trust deeply isn’t showing you the understanding you need.
From what you have shared, it seems like your friend may not fully understand how her words are affecting you. At times, people respond from their own perspectives or biases without thinking about how it feels for the other person. It could be a lack of emotional awareness on her part. She might not realise how invalidating it feels to be judged or labelled like that.
On the other hand, the comparisons you are making like “perfect pretty best friends” or judging your friend’s appearance could be coming from a place of insecurity or frustration. It is completely normal when you are feeling this vulnerable. But please try to allow yourself some grace. You are human and you are allowed to feel hurt. Instead of focusing on what others might have, remind yourself of what you offer. You deserve relationships where you feel supported and seen.
That being said, it may help to have an honest and respectful conversation with her. By addressing it respectfully, it focuses on your feelings without attacking her, which might make her more open to listening.
Lastly, please remember that friendships do evolve. If she continues to dismiss your feelings, it is okay to take a step back and draw your boundaries. Friendships are built on respect, not judgement.
hey @hi999 thank you for sharing this. I can feel how much pain and confusion you’re carrying right now, and I want you to know it’s okay to feel overwhelmed. You’ve been through something that really hurt, and you’re allowed to be upset about it. Needing someone to talk to doesn’t make you desperate or weak it makes you human; after all we all need safe, kind people in our lives who won’t judge us for just being ourselves. And I’m really sorry that someone you trusted made you feel misunderstood or attacked. That’s not fair to you.
Your feelings about the fight and the way your friend responded they’re real, and it’s not wrong to feel this way. It’s confusing when someone we care about starts making us feel small or judged, especially when we were just trying to be honest. You didn’t do anything wrong by expressing yourself or exploring what might be going on with you. You don;t deserve the criticism.
It’s also completely valid to feel like you want to take space or protect yourself from people who hurt you, even if you once trusted them. That doesn’t make you cruel or judgmental it means you’re trying to take care of yourself. You deserve to feel safe in your relationships. And you deserve people who won’t throw labels at you.
You’re not alone in this. We’re here not to judge or tell you how to feel, but to sit with you in the tough times and remind you that you still matter. Even when friendships change, even when you feel like you don’t belong, there are people out there who will get you, who will treat you with respect and warmth. Do remember that our own wellbeing matters before others. Do let us know if you need any help, we’re always here to help you
