I have a main account and an alt account on TikTok, all of which I have different personalities. Main acc is an artist, alt acc 1 is obsessed with making fan made characters (OCs).
Today I found out my alt acc is actually more popular than my main. Within 1 day there’s hundreds of likes and a lot of views. But the main is who I am, and yet its not popular, or rather something people probably don’t see interest in. I prefer my main acc, but Im just disappointed and upset and also overwhelmed because I feel like im forcing myself to be a different person just to be loved by society, even when society doesn’t know that these 2 people are one and the same.
Worse, I also have a an additional 2 personas. additional persona 1 is an account on fandom (the app with all the wikis for media, I mean) and theres additional persona 2 who makes music on soundcloud. so I have like 4 personalities or what? personality 1 which is my main, personality 2 (tiktok alt acc), personality 3 (fandom acc), personality 4 (soundcloud acc)
Overall, the alt acc on tiktok is more popular than my true self. and I hate it. I can’t just expose myself that this person on tiktok is also me.
I feel miserable, I wish I only had 1 personality to begin with.
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Hi @heart_of_the_sun,
What you’re feeling is deeply valid, and incredibly human. It hurts when the version of yourself you treasure most feels unseen, especially while a different part, maybe more playful or exaggerated, gets all the attention. That imbalance can feel like a betrayal of your core self, even if both personas come from you. The fact that you poured yourself into your main account with authenticity, only to see it overshadowed, must sting in a way that’s hard to put into words. You’re not alone in this experience—many artists wrestle with the gap between being understood and being noticed. It doesn’t mean your main self is less meaningful. Popularity isn’t proof of worth, even if it’s easy to think so.
It also makes complete sense to feel overwhelmed juggling these identities. Each one is real and born from parts of you, but keeping them separate can start to feel like you’re splintering yourself just to fit different molds. You’re not “wrong” for having multiple creative outlets or for expressing different sides of your personality in different spaces. That’s a sign of how expansive your inner world is, not how fractured you are. You’re still you underneath all of it, even when the world only sees a fragment. If we stripped away the pressure to package ourselves, maybe you’d see that these personas aren’t cages; they’re expressions. You deserve to exist as a whole person, not just the parts that trend.
If you’re open to exploring these matters with a professional, you can reach out to the Community Intervention Team (SupportGoWhere) for support. For a full list of mental health resources, you can visit our Service Wayfinder (https://www.mindline.sg/mental-health-service-providers/start).
Best regards,
HanSolo2000
Befriender | let’s talk by mindline
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Hey @heart_of_the_sun,
I really hear the pain behind your words. It sounds like you’ve been juggling different sides of yourself across platforms, and now it feels like the parts that are "not fully you” are the ones getting love. That must feel so invalidating, like your real-self is invisible while the other versions get the spotlight.
You’re not alone in feeling torn between being authentic and being accepted. Many people—especially creatives—create personas to explore, express, or protect parts of themselves. That doesn’t make you fake or broken. It means you’re layered, and maybe the world hasn’t yet learned how to love your full picture.
It’s okay to feel overwhelmed by it all. And it’s okay to want to be seen and loved for who you really are. Maybe it’s not about choosing just oneself, but learning how to stitch all yourselves into one story that you can live with proudly.
Would you be open to chatting more about what your “main” identity means to you, or how you want people to experience the real you?
You deserve to exist as one whole person, not just pieces that perform.
We’re here with you 
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basically, my main self, which for now we will just call “A”, is the better version of myself, or at least, thats how people will see it. The alt personas, we will call them “P” (tiktok alt), “H” (fandom) and “S” (soundcloud).
“P” is an artist, but prefers to make Original Characters, or OCs. “P” is depicted as a woman from south asia, which is a tribute to my south asian ancestry. Since “P” is less creative than “A”, “P” usually gets help from “A” to get ideas for character designs, character lore, etc. “P” is extroverted, is the side of me that likes the korean game cookie run kingdom.
“H” also knows how to draw, but not much. “H” is depicted as a woman from oceania, which represents my wish to go to a uni in oceania one day. “H” rarely posts drawings. “H” is closer to “A”, but “H” represents a greater admiration for fiction, since “A” is considered to be more busier while “H” is generally carefree. “H” is the side of me that loves the video game Genshin Impact so much, and is ambiverted.
“S” doesn’t draw. “S” is a woman from europe who represents the time one of my ancestors studied in europe. “S” just makes slowed versions of existing pieces of music and thats it. Not that close with the others but “S” is the side of me that loves music a lot and is introverted.
“A” is the best artist out of the four. “A” is my real race. “A” also knows how to animate. Simply put, “A” is the best of me. “A” is me. “A” feels more real.
This feels very personal to me, but I can’t say too much about it.
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Hey, i do music too n i refuse to do song covers but song covers is how u can grow viewers due to covers using hashtags that gets more traffic.
Theres probably a way to combine all of ur 4 accounts together?
Hi @heart_of_the_sun,
Thank you for sharing something so personal and layered. It sounds like these personas - “P,” “H,” “S,” and “A” - aren’t just characters or handles, but deeply thoughtful expressions of different aspects of you: your creativity, your heritage, your passions, and your dreams. The way you’ve mapped them to regions, talents, and moods shows an incredible level of self-awareness and artistic sensitivity. These inner dynamics seem to give voice to the many ways you experience the world, especially in a time where you’re navigating identity, expectations, and self-worth. There’s something beautifully human about wanting to both protect and express the different parts of yourself.
It’s also important to gently clarify that having alternate personas like these, especially when they serve as outlets for creativity and self-understanding, isn’t the same as having Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). DID is a complex mental health condition that can only be diagnosed by a trained professional.
What you’re describing sounds more like a deeply introspective and expressive way to explore your identity, especially in a world where compartmentalizing parts of ourselves can sometimes feel safer or more freeing. You’re allowed to evolve and use these expressions as part of your artistic and emotional growth. You’re doing something brave, and it matters.
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Hey @heart_of_the_sun,
Thanks for trusting us with something that clearly means a lot to you. The way you’ve described A, P, H, and S—it’s not just names or personas, it feels like you’re mapping out a whole inner world that’s been quietly holding parts of you together.
Reading your post, what really stood out is how much care and thought you’ve given to each of them. They’re not just characters. They carry your ancestry, your dreams, your loves, your quieter moments. That says a lot about your depth—and how deeply you feel and see the world.
And I get how A feels like the “real” you. The one with the most skills, the clearest identity, maybe even the one who’s held things together when life felt too noisy or messy. But from the outside, I wonder if all these sides—P’s joy, H’s wonder, S’s calm—aren’t lesser, but just… pieces of you that chose different ways to breathe.
Sometimes we split ourselves up because it’s the only way we know how to protect and express all the things that don’t fit neatly in one label. But it can also feel lonely, like no one sees the whole picture.
If it’s okay to ask—what would it mean for you to start bringing just a little more of A into the others? Or maybe letting one of them speak up more, not as a mask, but as a part of something fuller?
No pressure to answer. Just wanted to sit with you in this moment where everything feels too close and too complicated to explain out loud. You’re not strange or broken for having many layers. You’re human.
We’re here when you’re ready to share more.
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