I want to talk like normal people

Ask a Therapist Is This Normal?
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Sometimes when i’m talk and on nervous, my saliva increase, i hate it’s when it’s happen, i know they’re gonna think i’m weird. It’s make me more difficult to talk to people and sometimes it’s make me depressed, my appearance that’s look like a sissy make it more difficult and people misunderstanding about me, it’s like a combo, cursed combo. I realised about what’s people think after some years, their smile, their eyes, their behavior, maybe it’s because my curly eyelashes, i don’t know too… what’s make them thinking i’m not normal. I’m still a normal male, they’re the one that make me like i’m not normal.
Can i fix it?

Atleast i can talk properly like normal people does, and changes their perspective about me when i talk. I hate being myself.
It’s just because religion that’s make me still alive right now. I don’t want God hate me too.
I don’t have friends, i know i’m not worth for a friend, it’s okay for me. I just wanna talk like a normal person

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It sounds like you feel trapped between people’s judgments and your own struggles with self-acceptance. Your body goes into overdrive when nervous, but I think there are ways to manage it. Practicing slow breathing, speaking at your own pace can help regulate your nervousness (and saliva). If it’s really affecting your confidence, maybe a speech therapist might have good techniques.

I don’t believe any higher power would want you to suffer like this. If religion is keeping you going, maybe lean into the parts of it that teach love, acceptance, and kindness including toward yourself?

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Dear @Moonight

Thank you for reaching out and sharing how you feel. I can hear how much this is weighing on you, and I want you to know that you are not alone. Many of us struggle with similar feelings of self-doubt and frustration, but that doesn’t mean we are broken or unworthy.

It’s completely understandable to feel nervous in social situations, and the physical reactions that come with it—like increased saliva—can make things even more challenging. But the good news is that these things can be improved with practice, support, and perhaps some guidance from a professional who understands what you’re going through. There are speech therapists, counsellors, and even breathing exercises that could help you gain more confidence in speaking. You absolutely can learn to communicate in a way that feels more natural and comfortable for you.

As for how others perceive you, please know that their opinions do not define your worth. You are you, and that is enough. True confidence comes from within—not from changing who you are, but from embracing yourself. It might take time, but learning to be kind to yourself is one of the most powerful things you can do.

I also hear that your faith is important to you, and I truly believe that God sees you, loves you, and understands your struggles. You are not a mistake, and you are not alone in this. If religion has been a source of strength for you, I hope it can continue to be a place of comfort rather than fear.

I encourage you to seek support—whether from a trusted friend, a counsellor, or a faith leader who can help guide you through this. You 100% deserve to feel at peace with yourself. And no matter what, please remember that you are valued and worthy of kindness—including from yourself. :yellow_heart:

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How i gonna love myself if they’re keep hating me?

Once
I just a cheerful kid, i don’t care about what’s people opinion, have fun, typical kid thats pick a random kid and make it his friend, if they’re want to. My mom already teach me to be patient since i in grade school. I’ve been bullying and sexual harrased (graping) since that (1st), i don’t know why. I already feel how the feel to be bullied be one kid or whole senior in grade. But even that i still keep my cheerful behavior, even sometimes they’re scared me, to death, my mom says just ignored them, that’s doesn’t really work. Suddenly i got at school when i hit 6rd, i got very good grade without cheating (i don’t like cheating since i got caught 1 Times cheating and everyone in the class angry at me think i good at class cause i’m cheating, then i never cheating again). I love when my mom smile when i got a good grades
My father stoll doesn’t here for me when i on my my teenager growth. I keep getting bullying cause i’m too shy at school, and i’m fat too, girls with thick make up always keep mocking me, slowly i lost my cheerful behavior, i’m become meanly, i can’t take a joke. I got bullying by verbal and physique, they’re more than one person. Then I think want to drink sleeping pill when i on halfway in my junior high school, the information i got from a novel from library about sleeping pill. But still… i still too afraid to do that, i don’t want to leave my mother broken, i’m always crying silently at night, i promised to God if i keep living, promise me a good life, or make me a good story. I fell to ■■■■ addiction in my teenager time. Slowly my grades dropping, they keep bullying me, since i keep bullied i think to myself that i don’t need friend, i can do anything by myself. My only friend was my brother. Cause that i fell into anxiety when i hit senior high school. I lost my self-confident. I got bullied with people around my house too since in grade school. I started to lost my fat when i hit senior high
I’m start to stuttering when speaking, i ever lost how to smile, i lost my trust too, when my trusted person saying “that’s why you don’t have any friends”. That’s hit me in the spot. Since then i just hold all my problem alone, only me and God that’s know my problem
When i look into my live, i took some of positive, i living cause God still don’t want me to die, i already choose my religion since i’m on senior high school. You’re don’t need to worry if i fell into wrong path, cause God keep me with my mind. I just wanna how to talk properly.
Now i trying to fixed myself, i still lost my self-confident and still don’t find nice person to believed. I keep improving myself, trained myself, i still got sexual harrased last time i trying to fit in, in verbal or physique. I don’t hate the Group, i hate the peoples behind it. Sometimes i fell into depressed state when night comes, i’m more fragile in that state. I can’t cry when in the day, but got more expressive when at night or with special person (some people have good vibe, i like being around them or see they’re smile, it’s make me happy when see they’re smile : ) or just seeing their activity). And sometimes there’s snap out in my mind to vanish this type of peoples (who’s mocking me). It’s more strong at night, but don’t worry, religion keep me safe from bad things.
And my big problem…
I just want to speak normally, when i can, i’ll do something good, but i need to fixed myself first. I think if there’s way to fix it without go therapy.

I learn English from story game like NDS or GBA and internet.

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Hey moonight, i really admire how you still keep going throughout all that is happening. I get that you will find your own ways to solve your problems, since you know God is always there to help you.

As for the matter of speaking to other people, im not the most professional in this area, but i hope my opinion can still help you in some way.

Saliva increasing when speaking to other people could be due to feelings of anxiety or stress when talking to them, as well as medical conditions. Of course, there could be other factors as well, but those are the main ones. Perhaps your wish to speak like a normal person places stress on you when you do speak and thus creating the excess saliva. Whenever it happens, maybe taking a deep breath to calm down would help clear your mind.

Appearance wise, people will judge based off first impressions. I don’t think this can be solved, because we cannot change others unless they want to. Usually, the way to fix it is by spending time with them and they will slowly realize you are not what they made you out to be, and first impressions are never fully accurate. Your appearance does not define you. If you know that you are normal, then you do not need their opinions to define yourself. Believing in yourself and make yourself happy first, because you can’t change others, but you sure can change yourself, your mindset, etc.

I will pray for you, and i hope that you will emerge from this situation stronger than ever.

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After send my comment i just realised my past really broken ; )
But i feel better

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It sounds like you have gone through a lot. It’s stressful to just want to talk to someone but then these bodily sensations come up and can create anxiety.

I believe that everyone has some worth in them, and I think that’s what God would say too! Being different isn’t bad and I’m sorry that there have been experiences that have led you to feel bad about your worth or yourself.

I’m glad to hear that religion brings you some support. Do you have anyone in your religious community that can support you too?