Is it normal that I have moved on from the incident, but I have yet to move on from the emotions?
I have moved on from an incident how 2 of my once closed friends are no longer friends to me. I felt betrayed from their actions. It’s been more than 4 months ish? From the bottom of my heart, I already moved on but whenever I think about the feeling of betrayal, I cant seem to let go and move on that part of me.
We didn’t seek closure, because I escaped from speaking abt the incident. I dont see a point of seeking closure. I dont want to go through that pain of remembering the incident.
I kinda need advice on what on earth should I do
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Hello @userflewaway I can understand what you are going through. I had 2 close friends whom I felt betrayed my trust as well and it took me many years to overcome the feelings of sadness. I did seek closure at some point in my journey (some years after). I spoke with one of them and had a better picture of what happened. It was painful but it did help with acceptance. If there is any advice I can give, it will be to give yourself time and to be kind to yourself. Time heals and our views on situations do change with maturity and life experience. I recommend practising mindfulness meditation as one way of gaining a better understanding and acceptance of what you are feeling. Remember that you are loved by many people around you and you are stronger as a result of these life experiences!
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Dear @userflewaway,
Firstly, I’m really so sorry for what you’ve experienced about your friendships. Feeling betrayed by close friends can be a very painful experience, and it’s understandable that those emotions continue to affect you. The fact that you’ve moved on from the incident itself shows resilience and adaptability - and I’m proud of you for that.
Sometimes, the emotional impact can continue to linger in us. It’s completely normal to have moved on from the specific incident but still hold onto the emotions and feelings associated with it. Emotions can be complex and may take time to process and heal, even after the event itself is in the past. And to me, I feel that it’s important to acknowledge and honor our feelings.
Seeking closure is a personal choice, and it’s not always necessary or beneficial for everyone. Closure can involve revisiting painful memories and conversations, and it’s entirely valid to choose not to go through that process if you feel it would cause you more distress.
Instead, you can focus on self-healing and managing the emotions tied to the betrayal. Here are a few steps you might consider:
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Self-Compassion: Be kind and compassionate toward yourself
Please know that it’s okay to still feel the emotions related to the betrayal. These feelings don’t make you weak or inadequate. To help you be kind to yourself, you can try this activity: Mental Support & Wellbeing Resources in Singapore to Improve Your Mental Health | mindline.sg -
Journaling: Writing down your thoughts and feelings can be a therapeutic way to process and release emotions. You don’t have to share this with anyone; it’s for your own self-reflection. You can also try to declutter your mind through this simple activity: Mental Support & Wellbeing Resources in Singapore to Improve Your Mental Health | mindline.sg
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Mindfulness and Relaxation: Mindfulness practices and relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing or meditation, can help you manage and reduce emotional distress. Here is one activity you can try for a start: Mental Support & Wellbeing Resources in Singapore to Improve Your Mental Health | mindline.sg
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Talk to Someone: You can consider confiding in a trusted friend, family member, or therapist. Talking about your feelings with someone you trust can provide support and understanding. A therapist will also be able to help you with specific strategies and techniques to help you tide through this season of your life.
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Focus on Self-Care: Engage in activities and self-care practices that promote your overall well-being. This might include exercise, hobbies, spending time with supportive people, or seeking therapy.
Finally, please know that healing takes time, and it’s a gradual process. Be patient with yourself and allow yourself to grieve the loss of the friendship and work through the emotions at your own pace.
Ultimately, it’s about finding what works best for you in terms of coping and healing. Your emotions are valid, and it’s okay to take the time you need to move forward.
We’ll be here with you, to continue to support you. Take care!