Everything got bad. I’m not even mad and anything, well maybe I am. But I think I’m mad at myself. I won’t go into detail but some ■■■■ happened and I thought I got over it but one small thing and it all comes back to me. I want to get over it but I just can’t. I guess in a way, this thing played a part in shaping who I am today. Bad and good.
Hey @Harvey,
Thank you for sharing what you’re going through—it sounds like there’s a lot of emotional weight tied to your past, and it’s understandable that you feel frustrated or mad at yourself. I can hear that there’s a part of you that thought you had moved on, but those old feelings seem to come back unexpectedly when something small triggers them. It’s tough to deal with emotions that seem to resurface without warning.
It’s also really interesting that you acknowledge both the good and bad that came from the situation. That shows a lot of insight into how complex life’s events can be. Sometimes, we go through things that shape us in ways we didn’t expect, and it’s okay to feel conflicted about that.
It sounds like there’s still some emotional processing to be done, and that’s completely okay. Moving forward from something difficult doesn’t mean forgetting it or pretending it didn’t happen. It’s about finding a way to accept the pain it caused while also making space for the good things in your life now.
I know you want to get over it, and maybe it feels like you should have already, but healing isn’t a straight line. If you ever feel ready, talking more about what happened—whether with someone you trust or in another safe space—could be one step toward easing the weight you’ve been carrying.
Take your time with it, and remember, you don’t have to have all the answers right away. You’ve already shown a lot of strength by reflecting on this. Keep being kind to yourself in the process.
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Hello,
Sounds like you have some trouble forgiving yourself for the mistakes you made in the past.
I do not know specifically what made you feel this way, nor will I fully understand since I am not you, but I want you to know many of us have experienced this some form or another in our lives before.
You are right in saying that events shape our personality into what we are today. Good or Bad as a concept are subjective in nature. For example, frugal can be seen as stingy. Indecisive can be seen as analytical.
I suggest talking to a close confidante, be it your friends or parents to help release steam for this situation. It would be good to obtain a 3rd party POV for situations in our lives to obtain a more objective opinion, as sometimes we are our worse critics.
In the meantime, practicing acceptance philosophies such as stoicism may help you feel better.
Acceptance does not happen in a day. It’s okay to give yourself time to let it marinate.
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