Ive tried to ask for help from my parents,teachers and friends but they dont take me seriously and think im joking around. I literally told my mother that i wanted to km$ and she told me to slap myself and not joke about serious things like death. The few times i was taken seriously and sought out by my teacher, i couldnt talk about my problems truthly and lied. I feel like a really bad person everyday, i take all the resources people has provided me for granted and refuse to get up and work hard for my future. Im sec 4 now and its literally a few weeks from olvls. Im as demotivated as i can be and really gave up on studying. Looking at my prelim results made me realise the large gap between my peers and myself.Everybody is moving forward and getting better except me. I am aware of my own flaws and problems but is doing nothing to change them, when i try(reaching out to my teachers) and it doesn’t work out, i instantly give up and spiral. I think im hopeless. Maybe this is an another attempt at asking for help? Im kind of getting desperate.
Hey @user3382, thank you for sharing. I gather from your post that you’re currently feeling very low and stressed over your emotions and your Olvls. You’ve tried reaching out for help, but so far, none have worked out, and it really hurts.
I want to say that it’s not your fault that you feel demotivated, and that your brain just can’t bring itself to work. When our brains feel sad, it is hard for it to come out of its cycle of pain alone. But trust me, there is still hope out there. Perhaps you’re simply looking for help in the wrong places, and you shouldn’t give up yet.
The National Mindline hotline at 1771 puts you on the phone with a trained counsellor who will be there to hear you out and provide you with the necessary help and support. CHAT also provides a free mental health screening, where you can liaise with a professional who can assess you and better explain to you what is happening — you can check it out at this website https://www.imh.com.sg/CHAT/Get-Help/Pages/default.aspx
The pain that you feel may be caused by some underlying reason that you are unaware of, and can’t help yourself out of. So please don’t give up in reaching out for help; the avenues above will be able to help you with what you’re facing right now! Remember, there are people around you willing to hear you out, be it any trusted friends or the let’s talk community. Don’t be afraid to reach out when you feel the need to chat to someone, okay? 
Hey @user3382,
Hope that you are coping well, from what you have described, it sounds like you weren’t validated at all. Can I check, when you say you tried, what did that look like…with who, and how did it go?
The moment you shared with your mum, “i literally told my mother i wanted to km$ and she told me to slap myself”, reading that you must be feeling hurt and at the very point where you needed support.
Then with your teacher… you finally got taken seriously but ended up holding back instead. It doesn’t sound like a bad person; it sounds like guilt and unworthiness getting louder than your voice and how that voice was loud… that inner critic.
Now with O-levels around the corner, you said you “gave up on studying” after seeing prelim results. I want you to know that prelims aren’t proof of failure but just a benchmark. Like a snapshot of challenges at one point in time, not the whole story of your life and what you did, not destiny. Just a progress checker showing what help you might need.
The line “everybody is moving forward except me”… that’s harsh judgement against yourself. When you spiral after trying and it doesn’t work, that’s not hopelessness as fact, that’s self-judgment talking.
I want you to know that when you call yourself “hopeless,” the feeling behind that, do you believe that you deserve to be called that? Is there also a yearning underneath… maybe to be seen as worthy, or simply to have someone hold the weight with you?
For now, what’s clear is this: you are not hopeless. you’re hurting, self-critical, desperate to be heard. If the urge feels like the world is closing in, please don’t hold that alone, you can call SOS at 1767 or 1771 (mindline), or even WhatsApp a counsellor here.
Can you hold a bit, find a place to sit and simply letting this be another attempt at asking for help… and recognising that this attempt is already different, because you put it into words here.
Hey @user3382 what you have been experiencing sounds really intense. When it feels like you are not being taken seriously despite communicating your difficult feelings repeatedly, it is not unusual to feel hopeless and desparate.
Most of the times, we don’t feel safe to discuss our most difficult feelings or emotions with our parents or teachers. Hence, you might be finding it hard to fully open up to them thinking how they might take it.
As everyone has suggested, you might consider talking to a professional counsellor or use chat based support to seek help as they would be more equipped to provide the right support.
In the meantime, if the feelings get too intense and overwhelming, you might try using what we call TIPP skills, T stands for Temperature: you could dip your hands in a bowl of water with ice in it which wold help regulate your body temperature and enable clear thinking. Likewise, I stands for Intense exercise like brisk walking or jumping jacks for a few mins to let the feeling pass, helping ground yourself better, P stands for Paced breathing wherein you could take few deep inhale and exhales and another P stands for progressive muscle relaxation where you tense all your muscles for 5 seconds and release them slowly one by one from head to toe.
It is okay to take small actions everyday. It doesn’t have to be big.
You’ve got this. Take care.
To answer your question, i sat my dad down and told him that i couldn’t concentrate in school and my problems. After pouring my heart out to him, he just shrugged it off and joked that our whole family should go to therapy. (my family is filled with unresolved issues and tension) And the ironic part is both my parents don’t believe that their kids can develop mental health issues, they believe that im intentionally making myself miserable with my negative mindset when i can easily just “turn my mind off” and be happy. This is also partly the reason why why im hesitant to actually talk to a counseller.
Hey, I appreciate your openness and willingness to pouring your heart out. It is disheartening only to have it shrugged off with a joke. I can imagine how much effort it took just to start that talk, and there is nothing to laugh about when you are calling out for help.
When you mentioned that your "dad joked that our whole family should go to therapy (my family is filled with unresolved issues and tension)."How did you feel when you wrote this?
How about this?How do you feel about this? “And the ironic part is both my parents don’t believe.”
If your parents keep saying “you’re just making yourself miserable” or “turn your mind off,” some of that disbelief probably sticks, like maybe others will think the same.
I can see why you hesitate to talk to counsellors. There is so much invalidation going around that your self-belief turned into self-doubt. I want to assure you that what you described, struggling to concentrate, feeling demotivated, spiralling when support fails, these are real experiences. These experiences are not easily toggled on and off. It’s your mind and body reacting to stress and invalidation, not you choosing to suffer.
I wonder, when your dad made that joke about the whole family going to therapy, what did it feel like inside your body in that moment? Was it more like anger rising, or more like sinking into emptiness?
For now, without judging your position, maybe just hold this: talking to a counsellor isn’t about proving your pain is “real” to your parents. It’s about giving yourself a space that doesn’t dismiss, a space where you don’t have to lie. If ever the weight feels too much, please keep the crisis lines in reach, SOS 1767 or 1771 (mindline).
Without judgement on yourself, if you can describe and write down how you feel, and if you are ready, I want you to share it with the counsellor or anyone that you can speak with at SOS 1767 or 1771 (mindline). Let us know how you feel?
Hi @user3382,
Thank you for being so open - it takes real courage to speak from the heart, especially when it’s met with a joke instead of care. I can only imagine how much strength it took to even begin that conversation. There’s nothing funny about reaching out for help, and it’s painful when that vulnerability is brushed aside.
When you said your dad joked that “the whole family should go to therapy” because of all the unresolved tension, what was that moment like for you? Was it a flare of anger, or more like a quiet collapse into numbness?
If they keep saying dismissive statements like “turn your mind off”, it’s no wonder that disbelief starts to seep in. It’s not just what they say, but rather the emotional hurt that they leave behind, which makes you question whether others might dismiss you too.
I understand why you’d hesitate to speak to a counsellor. When invalidation becomes the norm, it’s easy for self-belief to erode into self-doubt. But what you’ve described (difficulty concentrating, feeling drained, spiraling when support fails) is valid. They’re real responses to stress and emotional neglect.
So maybe, just for now, hold this thought gently - talking to a counsellor is not about convincing your parents your pain is valid. It’s about finding a space that doesn’t dismiss you. A space where you can speak freely, without pretending. And if the weight ever feels unbearable, please keep the crisis lines close - SOS (1767) or National Mindline (1771). You deserve support that listens.
Here are some other resources for you to consider:
- A Community Outreach Team (CREST) can help identify your needs, support your emotional well-being, and link you to other services. This service is available free-of-charge.
- A Community Intervention Team (COMIT) has qualified mental health professionals who can provide counselling, case management and caregiver support. This service is available free-of-charge.
You may find these resources at mindline.sg | Free Mental Health Resources & Mindfulness Tools in Singapore . Hope this helps! 