Hey @tophu , I get what you mean when you say that you have conflicting feelings about your ex and it sounds like there’s some trauma related to the r/s where you will remember certain situations that hurt you and you tend to relive these moments… I think what helped for me was to make a firm decision about whether I want this person in or out of my life. If I want this person out of my life for good, then remove everything related to him - pictures, soft toys, shirts, etc - and make sure you leave nothing in your room that was from him. It’s sort of a way to say that you’re really “letting go” of him. For the unresolved feelings, I think it’s good to talk to someone about it (maybe a counsellor) or if you think you wanna write down your feelings or do some art about it I think it would be helpful too.
Hoping that you feel better soon 