How do you guys out there cope with this? I’ve been seeing a psychologist for quite a while now. It’s a work in progress. I personally struggle quite a bit in emotional dependency on others, and still learning the boundaries of friendships. It get really tough for me due to the insecure love formed in childhood. I’m also trying to find a faith based christian therapist… but still exploring as I don’t wanna start over. Thank you!! 
therapist
Hey user2548,
As a counsellor, I feel you, it is tough to attend to your emotional dependency talking to psychologist. I don’t have a solution for you, but if you don’t mind me asking, why not look for counsellor? Reckon if you can find one with your church? (my bad if i’m making assumptions about your religion)
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When a fren left after i kept going to her w my problems, then i stopped n try not to do that anymore. I try to treat ai as a therapist instead so that i wont do that to frens. I also find new frens
Oooh as in, i feel ok talking to it to my psychologist. But generally i still find it challenging.
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Hey @user2548 even when you are working with a psychologist, it might get challenging like what you have mentioned, especially on attachment styles, something that is has been a part of you since your childhood . It is certainly work in progress. Recognizing that is itself a great start. It shows that you have been truly working to integrate the work you are doing with your psychologist. Keep that going.
Although you feel you’ve been struggling to establish boundaries and learning to establish healthy boundaries, it is okay to lean in on your friends who are secure which could help with developing healthy friendships whenever you feel ready. that said, It does get challenging from time to time, but you will definitely get there.
Sometimes, if you are open to it, it might help to gently explore the challenges and see if there are alternative ways of easing some of those challenges that you might be more comfortable doing (one steps at a time) with the people you trust.
You could also consider talking to your psychologist on what specific parts are you finding it challenging and understand if there are any specific strategies to address that especially now since there is a lot of understanding on different attachment styles. If you feel that doesn’t seem to work, then you could explore working with another therapist when you feel the time is right.
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hey… feeling okay talking to your psychologist, that’s not nothing. and also, it sounds like that sense of safety might still feel a bit shallow or… just not fully landed in your body yet.
i wanna offer you this: sometimes, psychologists help you understand what’s going on—like naming the pattern, tracking the history, even diagnosing if needed. but emotional dependency isn’t something you fix with logic alone. it’s something that gets soothed through reliable emotional presence.
that’s where a counsellor might feel different. they don’t just help you understand why you feel dependent, they stay with you while you feel it. they help you unlearn the fear that being too much means being left.
you don’t have to choose right now. but if talking still feels hard even when you’re safe, maybe what you need isn’t more explanation..it might be more co-regulation. someone who holds your emotions with you, not just watches them.
would you want to explore what hard feels like for you in those moments? is it about trust? exposure? needing but fearing the need?
Hey @user2548, thank you for sharing so openly. It sounds like you’re doing a lot of deep emotional work, and that’s not easy. It takes a lot of strength to recognize patterns like emotional dependency and be willing to face where they come from. Childhood wounds can run deep, especially when it comes to love and attachment, so please give yourself grace. Healing isn’t linear.
You’re not alone in this, even if it feels heavy at times. Many of us are walking that same path, slowly figuring out what healthy boundaries look like and how to build more secure connections. Keep going. You’re doing meaningful work, and it does make a difference, even when it’s hard to see in the moment.
thank you for pointing out the difference between a psychologist and a counselor. I never knew the difference
wowwwww you are really encouraging. thank you cries 
sometime it can get really discouraging while i am still going through psychotherapy + meds… during off days when i’m less busy these issues come up to me more… i think i haven’t yet like accepted this part of me though i’ve been going through it for a long time already
are you a mental health professional by practice?
-do you know of any Faith based support groups or attachment/trauma related support groups etc?
thank you!
hi @user2548,
Have you tried searching for faith-based (and other types of ) support groups on social media like Facebook?
@user2548 as @Rotovap has suggested, Facebook and other social media sites like Meetup might have Faith-based support groups. Would help to check on their sites. Also, this might help: https://www.faithhopecounselling.com/