Yeah. I have some trust issues, and I did a personality test to find out that my honesty level was severely low, but i’m very clingy to my friends. My parents were fighting when I was little, but for some reason I find myself constantly saying something like ‘I think they’re adorable when they get trauma’.
Hi AMG
Thank you for bravely coming forward with your struggles. I believe you have the intention of understanding yourself better which is deeply commendable.
I also laud your desire of figuring out what you could do different to reduce the current confusion.
I think many among us can identify with you when you shared you have feelings of distrust and yet also that of seeking attachment and closeness.
Given your childhood experiences with your parents’ fighting, it’s understandable that you might struggle with trust. This can lead to difficulties in forming and maintaining healthy relationships. Being ‘clingy’ may arise from fears developed since young that your parents would abandon you.
Seeking stable social connection is a normal and valid human behaviour.
To raise your understanding of what you are experiencing, it may be useful for you to speak to a counsellor to examine any attachment injuries affecting your current approach towards your friends. Also the counsellor could help you better understand what draws you to those with trauma, identify thinking distortions and self- sabotaging behaviours.
While there are many personality tests, I would recommend you to only complete those which are validated and preferably interpreted by a trained test administrator who can walk you through the findings and help you apply to your context. Otherwise it has limited usefulness.
May I recommend these steps for your consideration:
1. Self-reflection: Explore your feelings, thoughts, and behaviours. Start to make small changes to behaviours you find are not useful. For example, choose to be comfortable with the discomfort of your friends not texting you. Instead, of ruminating on the reasons why, focus on healthy activities such as exercise.
2. Therapy: Consider seeking professional help to address trust issues, attachment, and emotional regulation.
3. Support network: Nurture healthy relationships and surround yourself with positive influences. Observe good relationships and reflect on the interactions and behaviours you see.
The improvements will surely happen so be patient and optimistic. Take small positive steps everyday, reflect, adjust and keep going!
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