is it normal to feel unloved?

Ask a Therapist Is This Normal?
1

I am surrounded by family that supposedly loves me. But the main prob is my parents. I say ily to my parents every week, i hug them, i have conversations with them. But as i grow older their behaviour changes around me and im starting to see the difference in treatment comparer to my younger sibling

They have been starting to use harsher language around me, and though it is not derogatory i do feel negatively about them. Though i do understand that they may have a positive intention, the difference in treatment makes me feel unloved by them. I kind of feel like im being ungrateful bc they have been taking care of me forever but i view them in this way.

They haven’t been noticing anything wrong either. Other family members and my friends have noticed that i have been keeping things to myself, or overthinking but its either that my parents are ignoring the signs, or just don’t care at all. I have been so disturbed by this, i have been crying a lot bc of this too. Honestly i just need some answers and how do i fix this by changing myself

2

Hi wren

I’m sad to hear what you are going through and thank you for bravely seeking assistance to better the situation you are in.

Navigating family dynamics can be deeply challenging, especially as relationships evolve over time. Here are some thoughts and suggestions that might help you gain clarity and find a path forward.

Acknowledge Your Emotions
It’s important to recognize that your feelings are valid. Feeling unloved or mistreated, especially by those who are supposed to care for you, can be deeply painful. Acknowledging these emotions is the first step toward understanding them better.

Reflect on Changes
Consider what specific behaviors or changes you’ve noticed in your parents. Are there particular instances or patterns that stand out? Reflecting on these moments can help you articulate your feelings more clearly when you’re ready to discuss them.

Communicating with Your Parents
When you feel ready, consider having an open and honest conversation with your parents. Find a moment when everyone is calm and not preoccupied with other issues. Use “I” Statements and frame your feelings from your perspective. For example, “I feel hurt when I notice a difference in how we communicate.” Share specific examples of behaviors that have affected you, rather than making general statements. Reinforce that you love them and appreciate their care, but you need to address how you feel.

Also listen to their perspective and allow them to share what they are going through, too. They may not be aware of the impact of their words or actions. Or they may be facing an issue too which you are not aware of. Understanding their perspective can help bridge the gap in communication.

Self-Care and Personal Growth
It’s essential to be kind to yourself during this process. Feeling ungrateful is common, but it’s important to remember that your feelings are legitimate. Practice self-compassion by acknowledging that it’s okay to feel hurt and that you deserve to be treated with love and respect.

Engage in Enjoyable Activities and Hobbies
Find activities that uplift you and help you process your emotions. Whether it’s journaling, exercising, spending time with friends, or pursuing hobbies, these activities can provide a healthy outlet for your feelings.

Seek Support
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, consider talking to a trusted friend or therapist. They can provide a listening ear and help you navigate your emotions and thoughts.

Navigating family relationships can be complex, especially as you transition into adulthood. Remember that your feelings are valid, and it’s okay to seek understanding and support. By communicating openly, practicing self-care, and reflecting on your relationships, you can work toward a healthier emotional space. With patience and effort, I believe both yourself and your parents can reach greater understanding and mutual respect. :heart: