is it normal for me to not feel like an adult at 21? and to feel behind all my peers? i am 21 this year and i feel that a lot of my peers have been adulting well, like being able to travel without parents around, or even live in a foreign country alone. some of them are also well-versed with financial knowledge which i am still struggling to understand. i think the world is so big and there is so many things to learn - but why does my friends seem to know a lot about these despite having lived the same number of years as me… often i blame myself for not being brave enough or not taking the initiative to start learning practical skills these earlier…
hi @claire_123 , im 20 and i want to assure you i feel the exact same way :")
everyone goes at a different pace and its impossible to compare ourselves with other people when our lives and our experiences are so different! i think its quite common to feel like this, especially when everyone seems to have everything put together from the outside… things look very different from the outside looking in
its okay to take your time and go at your own pace! if you want to be braver or learn practical skills, its not too late 
you have time to learn these skills now or whenever it feels right for you
you never know, there might be others who think the same way about you haha
take care!
@claire_123 I understand how you feel.
Technically, I’ll turn 22 this year but I still feel like I’m 4. I have to get my family’s approval for everything and what not. I believe it’s a problem with their attitude not mine. I know my priorities in life and am executing my plan to achieve them.
You’re not fine with being like this which is already a big step ahead. You can always change once you set the intention. You still have a long way to go and you’ll pickup speed in the way, don’t worry.
For financial info, you can always your bank’s adulting website for more information.
ATB, you’ve got this!
hey @claire_123, tysm for sharing this! i just want to say that i completely feel you… i’m turning 22 this year and i’ve also been feeling behind, especially when it comes to financial knowledge. it’s really tough when everyone around us seems like they’ve got it all figured out, while we’re just trying to understand how and when they even learnt all that 
but something i’ve been learning (and gently reminding myself of) is that 21/22 is still so young. we’re right at the beginning of our journeys. there’s such a big, complex world out there, and we’re only just starting to explore it. and isn’t that the beauty of life? to be constantly learning, experiencing, growing?
what really stood out to me from your post is how incredibly self-aware you are. honestly, last year i wasn’t even thinking about finances – so the fact that you’re already reflecting so deeply on all this is really admirable. it shows how much thought and care you’re already putting into your growth.
and as @octopus said, comparison is such a sneaky thing. we all fall into it, even when we don’t want to, and often the people we compare ourselves to are quietly doing the same with us. from the outside, it’s easy to think someone else has it all figured out, but we rarely see their struggles. it’s entirely possible that someone out there is looking at you and wishing they were in your shoes, too.
so please be gentle with yourself. you’re doing so much better than you think. you’re learning, you’re trying, you’re showing up – and those things matter so much more than having everything “figured out” right now. we all move at our own pace, and your journey is completely valid just as it is. you’re def not alone in this 
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hi @claire_123 , it’s totally normal not to feel “adult”, no matter how old you are!! just because other people are doing things that feel more mature to you, doesn’t mean your growth is too slow.
everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses, and maybe it just so happens that someone else’s area of expertise is something you’re not too well versed in, but im sure you have other things you’re knowledgeable about :))) don’t beat yourself up over it!!
Hey @claire_123,
From what you wrote, it looks like doubt layered on doubt, about yourself, about whether you’re late, about whose expectations you’re meant to be meeting.
Reading the way you compare… friends traveling, living abroad, talking finances, it feels like their success took centerstage, that sense of missed opportunity stings. But what we often don’t see is that these skills depend on family support, resources, and timing. When you picture yourself as “behind,” I wonder, who are you holding yourself in comparison to? Is it your friends’, your parents’, or a mix of everyone’s? sometimes the very act of comparing pulls us further away from noticing our own pace.
Maybe for now, instead of catching up, you could name one practical thing you’re genuinely curious about learning for yourself? Finance, independence, or something else. Will starting there be less about proving adulthood, more about growing into it at your own rhythm?
It makes sense you feel left behind. but adulthood isn’t a single train you missed…It’s a path with many entry points, and you’re still on it.
Maybe for now, instead of racing to catch up, you could name just one skill you’re genuinely curious to start with. would that feel less about proving adulthood, and more about growing into it at your own pace?
Ai came out a few years ago and ive been using it to brush up on things. Its much easier now cuz of ai