I realised that sometimes i get overly stressed over things.. for example, i had an overseas school trip and it was my first time without my family and the days leading up to the departure day i had a fever and just stomach issues and the night before i kept waking up and shivering.. was having cold sweats and nausea as well.. and i know it was because i was really nervous same thing happened before an interview and before my exams i dont sleep straight and i tend to wake up shivering and having to keep reminding myself that im okay to fall back asleep.. i used to also become like this when it was time to eat as when i was a kid, my parents used to threaten to leave me if i dont eat fast enough and sometimes they would start feeding ne and i would start shaking and crying.. overall i feel that i tend to start shivering/shaking and feeling nausea and cold when i get really anxious and i dont like it.. not just that my heart starts racing everytime i have to present and i blank out or if i am in social situations too and i hate it.. i just want to feel normal and i dont know how to control it or if i am normal.. also i’m in my head a lot and idk if thats normal
Hey @user0761,
As I read through what you shared, one thing becomes very clear, all these moments you described carry a similar emotional theme, even though the situations look different on the surface. Overseas trips, exams, interviews, presentations, even eating when you were younger. Each time, there is pressure, urgency, and the sense that if I don’t get this right, something bad might happen.
It feels important to gently name this: fear was imprinted early, and not because you were weak, but because you were small and needed support.
When you were a child and eating became rushed, threatening, or overwhelming, the message your body received wasn’t about food. It was about abandonment. At a time when you needed calm guidance and reassurance, the people you depended on most were also the source of fear. That puts a child in an impossible position, you needed them to feel safe, but safety wasn’t available then.
So your system did the only thing it knew how to do. It went into survival mode. Shaking, crying, freezing, withdrawing inward. That wasn’t a choice. And because no one helped you regulate that fear back then, your body never really learned how to calm down from it.
Now, years later, your body doesn’t know it’s “just” an exam, a presentation, or a trip. It recognises the pattern: expectations, separation, being watched, being evaluated. And it reacts the same way, shivering, nausea, racing heart, cold sweats, blanking out. Not because you are unsafe now, but because your body remembers a time when you were.
This is also why you find yourself in your head so much. Thinking, monitoring, reminding yourself you’re okay.. That became your way of coping when external support wasn’t reliable. The mind stepped in to protect you when comfort from others wasn’t there. It helped you survive, even though now it feels tiring.
So when you wonder if you are “normal”, what you’re describing is actually very common for people whose fear was never soothed early on. There is nothing broken about you. Your nervous system adapted early, and it’s been doing its best to keep you safe.
It matters that you are noticing this pattern now. Wanting to understand yourself better instead of blaming yourself is a meaningful step forward. You didn’t cause this, and you’re not failing for having these reactions.
This kind of change doesn’t happen overnight. Courage builds slowly, especially when it involves fears that formed early. You don’t have to face it alone. If there is someone in your life you feel safe with, a trusted adult, a close friend, a counsellor, letting them support you emotionally can make a real difference.
And if things ever feel too overwhelming to hold on your own, you can reach out to Mindline 1771 for support. Sometimes having a calm, neutral voice on the other end helps your system settle, even if just a little.
For now, it’s okay to go gently. Understanding yourself is already a form of progress.
I’m really glad you shared this. What you’re describing sounds scary and uncomfortable, and I want you to know you’re not strange or broken for feeling this way.
When your body starts shivering, feeling cold, nauseous, or your heart races, that’s not you being dramatic or “overthinking.” That’s your body reacting to anxiety before your mind can catch up. And given what you went through as a kid especially around eating and being threatened with abandonment, it makes a lot of sense. Your body learned early on that certain situations weren’t safe, so now it goes into panic mode even when you logically know you’re okay.
The overseas trip, interviews, exams, presentations, social situations… these are all moments where there’s pressure, uncertainty, or fear of being judged or left alone. Of course your body reacts. Anyone who’s had their safety shaken early on might respond the same way. You’re not weak for it, and you’re definitely not alone.
Being “in your head” a lot is also very common when you’ve learned to stay alert all the time. It’s exhausting, and it’s okay to be frustrated by it. Wanting to just feel normal doesn’t mean you’re failing, it means you’re tired of carrying this!!
You are normal. And even though it doesn’t feel like it right now, this is something that can slowly get better, especially with support. You don’t have to figure this out all by yourself. 