Honestly, I wasn’t the one who demanded a room for myself. I am happy with the room I share with my grandma. It’s cosy, functional and theoretically has the conveniences for me to study peacefully. More than physical space, my family just seem to be denying my needs until something bad happens, like a bad academic grade, a repeated school year or even a quarrel that shatters the quiet. Like I said in my previous posts, there are too many elephants in the room.
I seriously don’t know how much more I can assert my boundaries. Sometimes, they comply . Sometimes, they erupt into a rage that can be very demoralising for me. Don’t I even deserve a corner in the house? The public library and studying at campus are options which I do consider but, don’t solve the problem in the long run. It’s okay when I’m studying, but when I start working, can I run every now and then to the library, should there be a wfh arrangement?
I’m not even particular about a room in the house we are living in, just a space, even a uni hall , or uni dorm. I would love to move out, and study within campus, but it now seems like me denying this as a problem since long before has made this idea rather impossible to execute.
The thing is the constant denial of this need, makes it more and more required for me to assert it. But don’t worry, I do assert them on a daily basis. However, sometimes,I feel like a non-paying guest demanding scarce resources unreasonably.
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Thank you for sharing. That honestly sounds really exhausting, and I get why you’re so worn down. You’ve already been flexible and reasonable, you didn’t demand a room, you adapted, shared space, and tried to make things work. Wanting some stable space for yourself isn’t asking for too much.
What’s especially painful is how your needs only seem to be acknowledged after something goes wrong. Living with all those unspoken issues and having to constantly re-assert yourself would make anyone feel unseen and demoralised, especially when the response swings between compliance and anger.
You’re not wrong to think long-term either. Libraries and campus spaces help, but they’re not a real solution forever. Wanting a uni hall, dorm, or even just a corner that’s reliably yours is completely understandable.
You’re not a “non-paying guest” asking for scarce resources. You’re a person with valid needs, and the fact that you keep advocating for yourself, even when it’s hard, really does matter. Praying that the situation will get better for you!
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Hi @lovelychange,
I can sense how frustrating and overwhelming it must be to feel your needs are being overlooked, especially when you’ve expressed a desire for your own space. It’s clear you value the time you share with your grandma, but I understand that the lack of a dedicated study space can make you feel restricted and stressed. It’s completely valid to want a space where you can focus and thrive, especially when it feels like your boundaries are not being respected. You definitely deserve a corner in your home where you can create a conducive environment for your studies without it turning into a source of conflict.
Have you thought about how you might approach this conversation with your family again, and are there specific strategies that have worked for you in the past? It might help to set aside a moment to have an open dialogue about your needs, free from distractions.
Additionally, exploring alternatives such as study groups or routines that let you balance studying at home and in public spaces might provide some relief. How do you feel about the idea of establishing a schedule for when you can use common areas for your studies? What steps do you think you could take to advocate for yourself moving forward?