Huh, recently it seems like life is more daunting than ever.
Everyone has problems, but I feel that I have to deal with too many others problems along with mine. It’s just as though everyone can just occupy my headspace but I can’t occupy their’s. Here’s why…
Recently, when I requested my grandma to lower the volume of her device when she was in the bedroom, where I also study, a drama sort of unfolded. She went yapping about how during her time, they lived in a smaller house with even fewer resources, but they could peacefully coexist. But now I seem to be fussing even with so many resources under my belt. Like, come on… times have changed.
Firstly, they didn’t have so many devices in the house back in those days. My grandma herself has 2 personal devices which she uses during her leisure time. My parents and sister each have their own set of devices.The best part is that they each use their devices at a volume that is audible to an extent from my study room even with noise cancelling ear buds!! (ps our house is rather small).
With this being the case, I don’t know if I am the problem. I can’t seem to travel to and from the library to study as I did in the past as I am currently feeling much more tired. I can’t stay in school to study as it is rather far away from home, so I cannot afford to study for long durations.
Hello welcome back, @lovelychange! It’s been a while
Yeah I feel you about having to deal with other people’s problems. It’s not easy. I used to stay in a small house as well and the distractions are aplenty. It was virtually impossible to get quiet time to study because the adults in the house would be screaming at one another all the time (for nothing!) I’ve grown to realize that it’s just their style of communication and I just can’t do anything about it. I don’t want to add on to the noise so I just did my studies at the nearby McDonald’s.
I hear you that school and library may not be the best places to study. Are there other places nearby your house that you can consider?
Thank you for reaching out and sharing your experiences. I can see that you are motivated to study which is a great first step.
Currently through no fault of yours, you are finding it very challenging as family members are not understanding that you need less noise to better focus on studies. Your frustration about the less than conducive home environment is valid and understandable. There seems to be an impasse at the moment- though you have tried to explain your needs to your grandma, she has not been cooperative.
Empathize with yourself
Recognize your needs which are:
Quiet space for studying.
Respect for boundaries.
Understanding for your limitations.
Consider some of these Communication strategies
Calmly explain your needs to your family. Engage your parents and sister to negotiate quiet times. For example you could explain that you have an exam next week so can they help keep the noise down till then?
2.Use “I” statements: “I need quiet to focus.”
Discuss alternative study spaces (local libraries, nearby community centre)
Arrange with a school mate to study online together and put on your headphones to enhance focus and reduce distractions.
Schedule the more focused study period when the home is quieter, for example in the mornings.
Self-care
Prioritise rest and relaxation to address fatigue.
Engage in activities rejuvenating your mind and body.
Seek support from friends, peers, or a therapist.
Please do not be discouraged, know that your needs matter and that you are not the problem. Do take tiny steps to communicate your needs to your family members. Strive to improve the situation daily and work out an arrangement that facilitates a good outcome for everyone in the shared space. You can do this!
It sounds like you’re really feeling rather overwhelmed with the situation right now, and I’d like you to know that it’s completely valid. Balancing your own studies along with the dynamics of family life can be tough, especially when it seems like everyone has their own needs and habits that impact your space. It’s frustrating when you’re trying to focus and there’s noise all around you, and it can feel isolating when you feel like others don’t quite understand your perspective.
Your feelings about your grandma’s comments and the differences in how times have changed are valid. It’s true that technology and lifestyles have evolved, and that can create challenges when trying to find a peaceful study environment at home. It’s also important to recognize that every generation faces its own sets of struggles, even if they look different from one another. It’s okay to seek out solutions that work for you, like finding a way to communicate your needs respectfully.
Maybe there could be a way to compromise, or even establish specific times for quieter study periods that could work for everyone. Remember, it’s okay to prioritize your well-being and academics, especially when you’re feeling tired and need to adapt your study habits. You’re doing your best in a tough situation, and that’s what really matters.
The thing is that, the commute to and from school is tiring. I have explored the option of studying after lessons at school, but it has turned out to be rather inconvenient. As such, I am just trying my very best to study from home with the resources that are available. At the end of the day, health matters, you see…
Like, come on… times have changed.
