I’m 43. My boyfriend is 25. I’m divorced w a 20yr old daughter. My boyfriend lived w me for 1.5yrs. He had reduced his social circle to the minimum for I always feel insecure. He comes home everyday after work. However, I still get jealous when he is texting. I get jealous when he make new friends during his solo overseas trip. He say just friends sharing daily lives w each other. I know I should trust him and I want to trust him. I need to get that jealousy out me. Please advise.
Thank you for reaching out. It is understandable why you feel this way, especially because you love him deeply and are afraid of losing something important to you. With the age gap, I think it’s only human for insecurities and jealousy to appear at times.
From what you shared, he already shows a lot of commitment and reassurance toward you. The jealousy may now be coming more from fear than from his actual actions.
May I gently suggest to remind yourself:
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texting and friendships do not automatically mean emotional betrayal
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It’s only human to feel jealous but you can let the thoughts remain in the background like radio chatter and continue being fully present guided by your values.
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His actions show that he continues to choose you every day
Be kind to yourself. Trust is usually built slowly, especially after hurt and insecurity. Strive towards not letting fear control the relationship.
Hi @dazzlingdragonfruit6329, thank you for sharing so honestly. It is normal to feel jealousy in relationships, but I wonder if there is a reason behind you feeling this way in particular with his friends? Also curious as to whether you have had an honest conversation with him about these feelings yet?