Why we feel jealous?

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Why we feel jealous?

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Dear @maaay,

That’s a great question. Understanding why an emotion is showing up is an important step in learning self-regulation. Thank you for reaching out for support. While jealousy can feel uncomfortable, its role is to protect us. Our emotions don’t make us bad; they act like signal lights, alerting us to things that don’t feel right. Emotions are meant to help us, not shame us.

Before I share some common reasons why and how Jealousy can show up, may I invite you to share more? How did jealousy show up for you? What are your concerns about feeling jealous?

Jealousy is a normal feeling that everyone experiences sometimes. Here are some reasons why we might feel jealous:

  1. Fear of Losing Something Important: We can feel jealous when we’re scared that someone might take away something or someone we really care about, like a best friend or a boyfriend/girlfriend.

  2. Feeling Insecure: If we don’t feel confident about ourselves, we might worry that someone else is better than us. This can make us feel jealous.

  3. Comparing Ourselves to Others: It’s easy to look at others and think they have something we want, like being more popular or getting better grades. This comparison can make us feel jealous.

  4. Wanting Attention: Everyone likes to feel noticed and appreciated. If someone else gets the attention or praise we want, we might feel jealous.

  5. Past Experiences: If we’ve been left out or hurt before, we might be more sensitive to feeling jealous now.

Sometimes people may confuse jealousy with envy. Jealousy is when you’re afraid of losing something you already have to someone else. For example, you might feel jealous if your best friend starts spending a lot of time with a new friend, and you’re worried they might like the new friend more than you.

Envy is when you want something that someone else has. For example, you might feel envious if your friend gets a new phone that you really want, or if they get better grades and you wish you were doing as well as they are.

So, the main difference is:

  • Jealousy is about protecting what you have.
  • Envy is about wanting what someone else has.

Both are normal feelings, and it’s okay to feel jealous or envious sometimes. What’s important is how we deal with these emotions. Handling them in a healthy way can help us live better and more balanced lives.

I hope the above has been helpful and if you’d like more resources or if there is anything else you’d like to share with us, please do. We’re here to listen to you, your feelings are valid and you matter! :grinning:

Take care,
CoolBreeze =)

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