For me the h word is triggering, i just detest clutter. that’s why i substitute with the word junk-keepers My old man worked as mechanic, at home not just keep own old junks that beyond repair. Sometimes we wld secretly try to get rid when he isn in (actually my mum is disgusted too that she won’t allow us to invite friends over)
Since he wouldn take advice to declutter much, despite being complaint by neighbours = = a few times, we try our best to send for recycling etc. Or like hide the broken item somewhere then quickly dump when he dun notice.
Fscs don’t take any action all they say is no authority to go into house to make old folks declutter. Some old are* poor but in fact mine isn, i think hes mad
In my work at first when piles of boxes get stack up as we have to open parcels and keep for next time. i wld get nightmares. Now more used to it, if theres a lot we can call ppl to remove.
@Fenrispro H is indeed a tricky issue, as you’ve mentioned. FSCs are limited without the owner’s consent, and even involving the town council or HDB may not lead to much change due to their restricted authority. I’ve heard of cases where government agencies step in, but that’s usually only when there are serious concerns like vector or mosquito breeding or fire hazards. Unfortunately, if your dad’s behavior doesn’t change, it’s possible things could return to how they were before.
You and your family are doing what you can—recycling, discreetly discarding items, and trying to manage the situation. These small steps might not resolve everything, but they do help reduce the impact. It’s a challenging situation, and you’ve been doing your best despite the circumstances. Jiayouuuu!
@ZenCat thanku so much for replying! My bro also tends to accumulate stuff, like monthly onl spending, boxes and packaging he dw to throw right away. Chock full plas bags… Got defensive when i offered to clean.
My paternal side men seem to be like this
@Fenrispro You’re very welcome! It sounds like this tendency might be something your brother grew up seeing and subconsciously picked up on. When people grow up in environments where clutter is normalised, they might not even realise it’s not typical or healthy. It could be a mix of habits, comfort in familiarity, or emotional attachments to items.
It might take a lot of gentle conversation to help your brother understand why clearing space can be beneficial—not just for the home, but for his mental well-being. Sometimes approaching it as “let’s make space for new things” rather than focusing on discarding might help him feel less defensive.
Also, considering this seems to be a family trait on your paternal side, it’s possible it’s deeply ingrained, so patience and persistence will be key. Change won’t happen overnight, but even small steps can make a difference over time.
@Fenrispro I can only imagine how challenging it must be to deal with clutter, especially when it’s tied to family dynamics and emotional triggers. It sounds like you’ve been put in a tough position, trying to balance your feelings about mess with your dad’s attachment to his things.
The frustration of not being able to make a meaningful change, despite your best efforts, must be really overwhelming at times. It’s also understandable that your mother feels uneasy about having friends over. The pressure to maintain a certain standard of cleanliness can be heavy when you know others might judge the situation. I admire how you’ve tried to find solutions, like recycling and discreetly removing items when possible. It shows how much you care about creating a comfortable environment for yourself and your family. Getting used to the clutter at work and having nightmares about it initially must have been tough too. It’s great to hear that you have found ways to manage the situation now, like calling in help when needed.
It’s important to prioritize your mental well-being amidst all of this. If you ever want to talk more about it or share your experiences, I’m here to listen.
Yeaaa deeply ingrained is the right phrase for H. In jan when the nextdoor neighbour told fogey not to occupy corridor with his junks the way he argued was racist (coz they malay) and talked big like he own hdb. Its a classic trait of such H types. And then caused us distress coz instead of throwing away - cept the old bicycle other stuff weren his, take in!
I dun regret getting rid the small junks, taking to the further rubbish area. Thing is, i nev wanto speak to him voluntarily but assh would accuse shouldn clear his things
Soo hard not to be pissed
Those are others stuff
Kena complain no shame
How he know is me no cctv! This neighb had got some guy to take pics- sure they angry
@Fenrispro For such instances of occupying the common corridor with his items, the neighbour could write to the Town Council to complain if it is blocking the fire escape path (given that your dad’s items has eaten into the common corridor and there is less than the minimum clear escape passage of 1.2m clearance along the common corridor).
@HanSolo2000 thanku for replying. And for affirming my beliefs, yea we oughto be in comf environment. Most elderly also doing H, despite govt giving them money.
Hence i despise them i dw to help them
@ZenCat Ya there were officers who came to talk to him. He just blamed who report, and make excuse the other floors 8 and 5 flr they also have many outside.
The 8 flr ones are pretty bad, t.c only paste papers but din really take action.
I had tried complaining to Mp via email so l he wun suspect me and also directly to new PM.
After that neighbour said him few times, he only parked the old bicycle -decades nev ride alr but dw to sell. Bro said he can sell but refuse. Other barangs like planks assh took in.
Bloody hardcore. ■■■■■■■ old alr, i cant wait for him to pass on. I Wun cry Will Celebrate when the time come! Mwah
@ZenCat Ive heard some ppl complain the dads wld just anyhow turn off printer or something they using halfway, without telling. SAME! This dirtbag also, obv we using the modem never ask wil just switch off, or we go toilet 5mins he make until lights dim thing is mum has poorer vision due to diabetes. Many times she wld scold- u yrself leave tv n radio on when sleeping Then interfere when ppl just move away
Precisely! Assh just turned on 2 big lights in front! To rummage some crap junks Not like we wanto look! Then when we getting ready for dinn he just make it dim. Wtf!
If call out on this of cos he wld sure deny- Everytime in the right NO WAY!
Someone who spoke to him told me such types not aware their actions annoy others < How can it be?? I dun believe!
Do ur folks do such stuff? Argh
@Fenrispro Sorry you have to go through this so often. I can’t say I’ve faced something like this before, but I can imagine how draining it must be to deal with such situations, especially when it feels like your concerns aren’t being acknowledged.
I wonder if he is aware that his actions, like turning off the modem or dimming lights, are affecting others? Sometimes people genuinely don’t realise the impact of their habits.
No i dun think he aware at all thus it sucks. And its nightmare for us who are Hsp. Some classm said the fathers also like that. From reddit most of such adult are the Boomers, I don’t respect them. outside also got so many like that, hm i actually dislike kids too. some days i think mankind is shitty
except the few i know, who are friends. As Infp, my standards are there yup. helps that my wkplace boss is youngish, and colleag mostly the same age grp or gen Z. i did meet a couple of horrible lazy Zs haha
@HanSolo2000 tod was fine i was mostly outside, now night the fucker came back, over somet small shout at me again! I dw to react but just so pissed: i said stop saying its yr house! Belong to hdb and think i wun report police?
Worst emo immature ■■■■■■■ ever! Have the gall to demand i shld pay him back sch fees from 10 yrs ago-- i wouldn! Parent duty also dun have balls
My old man worked as mechanic, at home not just keep own old junks that beyond repair. Sometimes we wld secretly try to get rid when he isn in (actually my mum is disgusted too that she won’t allow us to invite friends over)
My bro also tends to accumulate stuff, like monthly onl spending, boxes and packaging he dw to throw right away. Chock full plas bags… Got defensive when i offered to clean.
It sounds like this tendency might be something your brother grew up seeing and subconsciously picked up on. When people grow up in environments where clutter is normalised, they might not even realise it’s not typical or healthy. It could be a mix of habits, comfort in familiarity, or emotional attachments to items.