Stressed and anxiety after moving

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Hi everyone. This is rather trivial but I’ve been troubled by this recently. Apologies in advance for this trauma(?) dump.

I just moved with my parents to the new flat they bought. Turns out we forgot to account for how loud the noise of train tracks nearby can be. For some reason, I started having very bad buyers remorse for my parents’ purchase and started getting extremely worried and paranoid about their health. They repeated reassured me that they are alright and will adapt (since a new development nearby will block the tracks in a few years time), but I still feel constantly regretful and worried for them, to the point that they have started to get annoyed and start worrying for my worrying. They seem to be really excited about the house, but somehow I am constantly thinking that they might be just enduring it and are actually very frustrated.

At the same time, I seem to have gotten a bit too sensitive to the noise of the train. I spent an excessive amount of time obsessively reading up on how people adapt to noise, but the more I read, the more annoyed by it I become. I had a bit of trouble focusing at work as I would sometimes hear the train noise when the office is pretty quiet. I will also wake up in the morning feeling restless for the whole day.

Since I just moved in a few days ago, I hope this is just part of adapting to new environment, but I feel that how I’m reacting to this is extremely unhealthy and am wondering if I should seek help. Or are there anything I can do to make myself adapt better?

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Hi @submarine

Firstly, thank you for sharing your thoughts with us on this platform. I appreciate your honesty in sharing your concerns, and there’s no need to apologize for seeking support. I can tell that you care deeply about your parents and their well-being, as well as your own adaptation to this new environment.

I can imagine how frustrating and irritated you feel with the noise and your confusion about whether your parents are truly okay with it, and I want to commend you for your thoughtfulness towards them. I hear that you’ve begun to feel anxious and restless when thinking about the noise and it’s starting to affect your daily life.

I would like you to consider these 2 questions, so that we can process this further:

  • Have you experienced similar anxieties or regrets in the past when facing significant changes or decisions? Perhaps when you try understanding your patterns of reacting to change, it can provide insight into why you’re feeling this way now.

  • Do you have any coping strategies or self-care routines that have helped you manage stress and anxiety in the past? When you take time to reflect on what has worked for you in the past can be a valuable resource as you adapt to your new environment.

If these feelings of anxiousness persist and impact your daily life and well-being, it might be a good idea to consider seeking professional help who can provide you with strategies and support tailored to your specific situation and help you manage your anxieties effectively.

For the time being, I would highly encourage you to:

  1. Have Self-Compassion :slight_smile: It’s so important to remember that your reactions are valid, and it’s actually very common to have mixed emotions when transitioning to a new environment. Do consider practicing self-compassion for yourself - for example, instead of judging yourself for feeling this way, try to be kind and understanding towards your own emotions. This can help reduce some of the anxiety and regret you’re experiencing. It might be helpful for you to try our activity here too: Mental Support & Wellbeing Resources in Singapore to Improve Your Mental Health | mindline.sg

  2. Have open communication :slight_smile: Open and honest communication with your parents is key to this issue. I encourage you to have a candid conversation with them about your concerns and anxieties, let them know that it’s a huge issue for you and that you’re being affected by the noise. Ask them how they genuinely feel about the new flat and their own adaptation to the noise. Their reassurance is valuable, but gaining insight into their perspective can help ease your worries. You can try out this tool to help you navigate this conversation better: Mental Support & Wellbeing Resources in Singapore to Improve Your Mental Health | mindline.sg

Last but not least, I encourage you to speak to a therapist to work out these anxieties and help you manage your emotions about the noise adaptation issue. It takes a lot of strength to recognise that you need support, and I commend you for that :slight_smile:

Do let us know your thoughts and what your next steps are, I look forward to hearing from you soon!

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For regrets, I regret almost all my decisions. As long as there is something not satisfactory, I will start to agonise over it. I never had any methods of getting over them, I just wait it out eventually. I had previously seen a therapist before for mild depression over similar issues, perhaps I will see a therapist again. Thank you!

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This sounds quite stressful to live with @submarine. I hope you find a way to cope with this (with or without help from a therapist).

On the sound issue, it really reminds me of living in Punggol where you get planes flying over you all day, and sometimes at night too. I think it’s a matter of getting used to. For context, I used to live at level 2 right in front of a bus stop on the main road. People who come to my house would always be surprised at how I can live with so much noise. As I grew, I think I really got used to it and I don’t hear the sounds anymore, they become ambient noises somehow.

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Thanks @Jaws. Regarding the sound issue, it currently feels like every time a train drives past, I will get an adrenaline rush and get my heart pumping. The same is happening to my mum too. Oh well, I just hope we all get used to it soon.

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Yeah I get what you mean - maybe a train is different from a bus haha. I can imagine how it feels. I’m not sure if you’ve managed to interact with any neighbors yet but could be a good opportunity to ask them how they deal with the noise.

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1 of my Poly friends, Justin from SP CCA Welfare Services Club CCA once told me before and I think it was at the very start of Year 1 to not let my secondary school stuff/life to define my poly stuff/life. And I am from SP(Singapore Polytechnic), currently a Year 1 student studying Mechanical Engineering and My Name is Koh Ze Kai. And This message that I am sharing with you is the truth that I am struggling and facing currently right now.

Like Imagine if you could talk to your Year 1 Poly self, What would you say to him? Plus, Also, What would you say to a Year 1 Poly person like me who keeps on constantly thinking about the negative things that happened to him or her in secondary school and the things that happened to him or her in secondary school that makes him or her feel very depressed, sad and cried. Because Apparently Many negative things happened to me back when I was in secondary school which caused me to feel very depressed, sad and cried and hurt my feelings too and hurt me too and like for example, my secondary school teachers scolding me very harshly for the way I talk to them like asking them about personal things and private things and also crossed the boundaries of my secondary school teachers and I still remembered I did something one time that crossed that the secondary school teachers boundaries by looking at a sheet for the teachers to sign in and sign out then when my secondary school discpline master saw this, she scolded me so fiercey that I went home and cry and I also cry throughout my whole entire school day and my secondary school teachers scolding me because at first, I thought it was okay to ask them about their own personal and private things without even knowing that I am completely in the wrong and my secondary school teachers scolding me for just being slightly late by the assigned time which is 1.30pm by 3 minutes late one time which is 1.33pm just to collect a jacket only while right actually during that time, the people will are the students who are giving out the jackets are still there and haven’t left and it is like as if like the thing hasn’t ended yet and talking to a few things that are considered inappropriate which caused people to avoid me. One of my secondary school friends whom I thought was a very good person and a consuellor blocked me on WhatsApp due to him thinking that I am very annoying and me constantly sharing about my problems which he at first wanted to listen but then after that, he didn’t and went to block me on WhatsApp and that happened around the end of my secondary school life and my graduation which is last year in 2022.

And Now In Poly, I still rethink back about The Many Negative Things/Memories that happened to me back when I was in secondary school which caused me to feel very depressed, sad, cried and made me feel very low on spirits and very low in mood and very dull and making me not wanting to enjoy Poly Life and treating Poly Life as if it is still my depressed secondary school life and also which made me very unable to concentrate and focus on my studies like my 8 modules which are considered very important in Poly and also made me very unable to concentrate and focus during lessons in Poly too. And The 8 modules are Engineering Materials 1, Digital Electronics 1, Engineering Mathematics 2, Introduction to Engineering, Computer Programming, Persuasive Communication with Data Storytelling, Problem Solving with Creative and Computational Thinking and Effective Writing for the Workplace.

And Then Right I still remembered right My secondary school teachers were like saying that They will care for me, but then One of The Friday Bible Study Group members who is a Year 3 NUS(National University OF Singapore) and His name is Ejin Low or/and Low Ejin. student studying law and One of The Friday Bible Study Group members also tried to warn and tell me that My secondary school teachers will only both care for me and care about me up till my O Levels only lor, then right after I graduate, There is a 99% chance that All of my secondary school teachers will stop caring about me completely because They are not obliged to care about me. At first, I didn’t really listen to and I was like very non-chalant about One of The Friday Bible Study Group members advice on telling me that There is a 99% chance that right after my secondary school that all of my secondary school teachers will completely stop caring about me.

And Then Right After My O Levels and My Graduation from Secondary School and Right After I received my O Levels Results, I started to realise that He was right in saying that because I still remembered right after a week I received my O Levels Results, I texted one of my secondary school teachers who said that they including him care about me about some things that looks like problems but then he blue tick me and he completely ignore and he never even bother to reply my message on the some things that looks like problems. And This is also another reason why I feel very depressed, sad, and have a very dull mood which caused me to think that Poly Life will also be the same as how my secondary school teachers treat me and how my depressed secondary school life is because I felt like I was being tricked by my secondary school teachers into thinking that they care about me which they actually didn’t and even One of The Friday Bible Study Group members tried to warn me about it and even my parents said that what my teacher did by not replying to message about that thing that looks like a problem is correct because he is no longer my teacher and my relationship with him is already completely over already. Plus somemore right my secondary school is like keep on continuously repeatedly saying over again and over again that all of their/the teachers in my secondary school will care for me and everyone and all of their students and look out for me and everyone and all of their students over again and over again and will care about me and everyone and all of their students.

But I really hope that all of you Please don’t tell this to Madam/Mdm Shwu Lan NGOH in SP(Singapore Polytechnic) because she is currently my personal tutor for This Sem 2 and She is teaching Engineering Materials 1 for This Sem 2 and I really don’t want her to know about the very long message and very lengthy message that I have written here too because I am very scared that if she knows about this very lengthy long message, she will scold me and reprimand me very badly and very fiercely which will end up causing me to feel very depressed, sad and cried and very hurt and then unable to concentrate and also unable to focus and also unable to listen and also unable to study on all of my Poly Lessons and also all of my Poly Classes too and all of my Poly work and all of my whole entire Poly Life too which will end up making me viewed my whole entire Poly Life as once again my depressed secondary school life again which means my whole entire Poly Life will still be as depressed as my whole entire secondary school life and I really don’t want my whole entire Poly Life to be like my depressed secondary school life again because I really hate it when that happens to me over again and over again and also including all of the other Poly Lecturers in SP(Singapore Polytechnic) like every single Poly Lecturers in SP(Singapore Polytechnic) and especially The Discpline Master Team in SP(Singapore Polytechnic) because I feel very scared that when The Discpline Master Team in SP(Singapore Polytechnic) were to see this very long lengthy message that I have written right here, they will immediately come and scold me very fiercely for writing this very long lengthy message. And Basically My Depressed Secondary School Life ruined my mental health and mental well-being as a person completely making me not wanting to enjoy Poly Life and making me both view and still think that Poly Life will still as My Depressed Secondary School Life over again and over again and is like still making me think My Poly Life will eventually become as depressed as my secondary school life over again and over again repeatedly continuously. And Also Please Don’t tell this very long lengthy message to people like My SP CCA Videography Club Members who are Celeste, Jacnita, Ding Heng, Zun Kai and Zun Kai is also the same secondary school as me as well too, But He is just a year older than me and My SP CCA Welfare Services Club Members who is Justin and My SP 22 years old Chrsitian Best Friend who is Garren and Garren is currently studying Year 1 in University right now, I think NUS (National University OF Singapore), My Other SP Chrsitian Friends who are Zac and Ian but Both Zac and Ian already graduated from SP last year and a few years ago. And Also Don’t tell this very long lengthy message to My 19 years old Brother, Ze Xian who is currently studying Year 3 Maritime Business in SP and about to graduate from SP very soon and Also all of the SP people and all of the SP Graduates as well too!!..