I need to load off some of my thoughts here as I don’t know who else I can talk this with anyone.
About 2 years ago, I got married and relocated to another place with different language and culture that I usually used daily. At first, I was excited to relocate as it is a beginning of a new life for me. I don’t have any close friends in my new place except my husband. I also work remotely from other place, so I really have limited interaction with community. After the honeymoon period is off, I feel that I doesn’t belong in the new place and have the urges to go back to my parent’s house. I even got afraid to purchase food from local people. I always asked my husband to buy me a meal. At one point I also feel afraid to search for a new job at the new place, one of the biggest reason is I’m afraid that I cannot fit in in the society. It’s been a long time since I met new people and have a conversation. I don’t even feel I can talk about this with my husband. Any suggestions that might help?
Thank you for reaching out and sharing your thoughts. It sounds like you’re going through a challenging time, and I want to acknowledge the courage it takes to open up about these feelings. Relocating to a new place with a different language and culture can be incredibly overwhelming. The excitement of a new beginning often fades, leaving behind feelings of isolation and fear. It’s understandable to feel disconnected and anxious in such a situation.
From what you’ve described, it’s clear that you’re feeling a lot of emotional distress. Moving to a new place and not having a support network around you is very difficult. It’s completely normal to feel afraid and out of place when everything around you is so different from what you’re used to.
You mentioned that you’re afraid to purchase food from local people and that you ask your husband to buy meals for you. It’s important to recognize that these feelings of fear and anxiety are valid. Relocating and adjusting to a new culture can be daunting, especially when you don’t have close friends or a support system nearby.
It also sounds like you’re experiencing a lot of self-doubt and fear about fitting into your new society. This is a common reaction to such a significant life change, and it’s okay to feel this way. The fact that you’re aware of these feelings and reaching out for help shows a lot of strength and self-awareness.
Here are a few steps that might help you feel more connected and less isolated:
Start Small: Try to gradually increase your interactions with locals. Maybe start by purchasing food from local vendors once a week. This can help build your confidence over time. Even small victories can provide a sense of accomplishment and gradually reduce anxiety.
Learn the Language: Consider taking a language class. This will help you communicate better and give you a chance to meet people who are also learning. Often, language classes have a social component that can help you feel more connected.
Establish a Routine: Create a daily routine that includes activities you enjoy and some form of physical exercise. Having a structure can provide a sense of normalcy and purpose, making the new environment feel more manageable.
Join Online Communities: Connect online with groups or forums whom have relocated to where you are staying now. This can provide a sense of community and support, even if it’s virtual. Sometimes, sharing experiences with others in similar situations can be incredibly validating.
Talk to Your Husband or Parents: You may feel that you can’t talk about this with your husband, but the reality could be your husband is the actual help that you need. Share your feelings with him or your parents. He/they might not be aware of the extent of your distress, and discussing it can provide relief and understanding. Having an open line of communication can strengthen your relationship and provide you with emotional support.
Seek Counseling: Consider talking to a therapist or counselor who specializes in expatriate or relocation issues. They can provide strategies to manage your anxiety and feelings of isolation. Professional support can be very effective in helping you navigate these emotions.
Remember, there are many things right with you — you’re just in a very challenging situation. The feelings of sadness, fear, and anxiety you’re experiencing are normal responses to such significant life changes.
You’ve already shown resourcefulness by reaching out and seeking help. It’s okay to take things one step at a time. You’re not alone in this, and it’s important to be kind to yourself as you navigate these challenges. Take care, feel free to posty here again if you need guidance.
Thank you for your encouragement @FuYuan_Affections
It’s what I need right now, I believe I had done some steps that you suggested. I am reminded to be patient and take one step at the time
Thanks for sharing, @anonymous354. It sounds like you’re feeling quite isolated and overwhelmed by the changes. It’s important to acknowledge these feelings. Have you considered joining local groups or online communities that share your interests? This might help you gradually build connections. How do you feel about taking small steps to engage with your new environment?
