Hi everyone, recently i got caught in a love scam and got cheated alot of money. It caused me to be in alot of bank debts. I feel like i single handedly ruined my own future by falling for such a scam. I met this guy on hinge and everything happened so fast. I had a few doubts on why the relationship was moving so fast but he manipulated me into thinking that I was the one at fault and I should trust him full heartily even though we have not met in person. He even threatened to end the “relationship” at some point but we end up patching up. Subsequently, he started introducing me to a private fund website that had government funded projects. He convinced me that it was legitimate as they had MAS license and other “about us” details on the website. Even when I felt skeptical about the website, he got angry at me and scolded me for suspecting when I could have just clarified with him my suspicions so that he could convince me otherwise. I felt so bad that I just blindly followed his guidance on depositing more money into the website. When I tried to withdraw my money, I end up facing alot of difficulties such as incorrect fund password, low credit score and many more. I was desperate to withdrew my money at the time, I ended up taking up more loans to meet the “recharge” criteria. There was alot of pressure on meeting the deadline for these “recharge” and even though I had my own suspicions, my judgements were so clouded. He always said that he will be there to handle this together with me and even offered to “recharge” some of these money with me. At that time I felt like I could only depend on him so I did not reach out to anyone around me for a second option. He also hinted to me to never share about this website to anyone. Looking back I felt like I was so stupid for trusting a stranger. I hope nobody will have to go through what I did. I only realise I was in a love scam when I had no more funds to “recharge” and had the time to research on whether such private funds exist. I was so manipulated to the point that even after watching so many “pig butchering” scams, I still had that last hope that maybe I could still get back my money. I only truly believed that I was caught in a love scam when I sent the website to the ScamShield agent and they told me it was a phishing website. Even till now, everything happened so quickly that it felt like a nightmare but the loans I took up will constantly remind me that it was all real.
Hi @brightbonsai146 ,
I was in the exact same shoes a year ago, and I am still trying to cope with all my debts. It angers me to know these scammers are still out and about targeting vulnerable people like us, who knows we might actually have been scammed by the same individual/group…
Please stay strong and I hope you know that you’re not alone in this. It definitely takes time to heal, and although not fully yet, I do feel better about myself now. Indeed it was a hefty (actually heftiest) price I paid for being nice, but it’s not my fault that I got taken advantage of. I like to believe that this happened to me only because I’m mentally strong enough to get through it, and I hope you feel the same too.
If I can do it, you can do it too 
Dear @brightbonsai146
Thank you for reaching out. Please know that what you went through is incredibly hurtful especially since the scammer used emotional manipulation to build trust. I have seen that scams are designed to rush emotions, build trust quickly, isolate, and pressure victims into decisions.
What matters now is that you didn’t ruin your future. Understandably, you are dealing with a very difficult situation, but it is not permanent. This can be worked through, step by step.
For now, may I recommend that you focus on a few practical things. Report the case to the Singapore Police Force, contact your banks or lenders to ask about repayment support or restructuring, and reach out to ScamShield for guidance on what to do next.
Do be gentle with yourself as you slowly take steps to recover from this betrayal of trust and manipulation. This episode does not define who you are or what your future will be.
It may help to process this loss and pain with a counsellor. The counsellor can coach you on coping mechanisms as well and steps you could take to slowly rebuild your life.
And if it ever feels too heavy to carry alone, you can talk to counsellors from the Samaritans of Singapore reachable at 1767 or the National Mindline, reachable at 1771. Both hotlines operate 24/7, and immediately available. You fully deserve support through this.
I was also in your shoes last year May. I was WhatsApp as a wrong recipient as his colleague. He complimented me for understanding in not being angry for the mistake as he would have been scolded in his home country or so he said. He was sweet and caring. He kept trying to put himself into a lover kind of perspective. I kept turning him down and settled to be friends. He then disappeared for a month in the name of losing his phone. He then chatted back to an online wholesale seller part time middle man to help buyers order goods from warehouses he mentioned before he disappeared after catching up, contacting me on another phone. He said it was easy change and good to supplement actual work with not much maintenance since money earning is not easy. I was skeptical but he said he did it for years so nothing will go wrong. Then, all hell broke loose. I felt depressed or close to it for the first time in my life as I see the amount of money I needed to put in the website grow exponentially. He tried requesting me to take loans from bank, friends and family. I kept it with loans with my family. He also reassured that I can take back my money only leaving out the detail that only if I do not have outstanding orders which grows daily and in thousands. My family caught on quick so I didn’t lose too much but still substantial.
I am so sorry for you to have to face this. Stay strong and may karma fall onto them!